Zaralla1 OC's and headcanons ✧. ┊
Hi! Welcome! I'm Zara and this is where I keep my fan-OC and OC profiles, as well as their art and stories! Thanks for dropping by!
About
Hi there! I go by Zaralla1 in online spaces, but you can also call me Vanja. I draw whenever it's possible, and I mostly do it for my own fun. I love anything Soulsborne related, and I love characters with sharp teeth! My gallery includes mostly OC & multifandom work, and lately I've been a lot into gachas which reflects on my current OC's & fan-OC's. Right now I'm trying to focus on a large webcomic project featuring my characters, but they will be featured on a different website.
*OC's/fan OC’s are written so they can pair up with my favorite characters. Sometimes they borrow elements from the universe they are in so they can feel more believable. Canon characters are “ocified”, which is indicated by their slightly different design to help distinguish them from canon representation (To help against possible confusion!)
OC BoundariesDo's ✔️
| Artworks are welcome! as long as no genAI is used anywhere in the process! | Kinning is okay! | It's okay to draw your OC's together with mine! Just make sure its platonic! |
|---|---|---|
| Writing fanfics/AU/stories is okay if you ask me permission! | Headcanons are okay! | Doubles are okay! I don't mind interacting with them! |
Dont's ❌
| Do not use my characters in roleplays! | Do not use my characters on genAI sites (chatbot AI's, etc.) | No shipping! I ship my characters with my irl partner's characters only! |
|---|---|---|
| Do not write/draw NSFW stuff about my characters. If you do, keep it private. |
Characters
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Positive traits 🔹 & Negative traits 🔸
| ✓ Good-natured and caring | ✘ Emotionally immature which often gets him misunderstood |
|---|---|
| ✓ Likes helping people and wants them to know they're valued | ✘ Becomes irresponsible when prioritizing his desires first |
| ✓ Good at taking care of himself (And others) on Earth | ✘ Can be rude and standoffish. Will be annoying on purpose |
| ✓ Talkative and curious | ✘ Bad with setting boundaries |
| ✓ Warm and accomodating. He will share anything he owns | ✘ Passive-aggressive and holds grudges |
| ✓ Quietly works in the background to help people get along | ✘ Very forgetful and easily believes nonsense (conspiracy theorist) |
| ✓ Not squeamish at all and minds his own business | ✘ Loses himself in others (mirrors the desires of others and loses sight of his own) |
⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙
Full name ┊ Regill Neha
Age ┊ 22 yr. old
Gender/Pronouns ┊ (Trans) Male / he,him
Height/weight ┊ 180 cm (5'9'') / 74 kg (163lbs)
Occupation ┊ Babylonian Corpse Retrieval ✞, commander of group "Achilles" (Clean-up crew)
Birthday ┊ 8th of October (Happiness at work day)
Favorite time/weather ┊ Morning twilight, Cloudy spring days
Favorite activity ┊ Coming up with outfits for his mechanoids, making sure they are fashionably synchronized, Singing
Favorite food ┊ Pasta bolognese, Green pasta, Truffles, Pizza
His emoji ┊ 🦊
Ship name ┊ RoReg 🐺🦊Character alignment ┊ Chaotic Good
Nicknames, titles and aliases ┊ Reggie, "Acky", Ascendant Magnet, Reg, Corpse boy (Nickname given by Vera), Gravekeeper, Pippi Longstocking (Also given by Vera), Roland's squire
Likes ┊ Putting corpses back together (to him it's like legos), Taking care of people in conservation areas, Roland (loves him), Ember (his old construct), Quoting his favorite movies, Dirty jokes, His trusty shovel he named "Matilda", Stripe patterns, Telenovelas, Mysteries, He can't resist a good story, Board games, Figurines, He admires the Gray Raven team, Gossip and sharing stories, Coordinating attacks, Showing off the capabilities of his exoskeleton, Bragging, Chewing on things, Teasing others, Being teased, Mascots, Theme parks, Ferris Wheels, Government conspiracy theories, History books, Lucille and her dog, Bridget (they work together often), Karenina (he is a bit scared of her), Vera (he thinks she is very cool), Cryptids, Camping, Urbex, Standing up for himself (it makes his heart pound nicely)Dislikes ┊ Being accused that he is stealing from corpses, Being called "Achilles" because he thinks it's ironic, Being bullied, Doing favors for the Purifying force (Feels like its going to bite him back one day), Kurono, Hassen, Vonnegut, Leaving people behind, Being made to wait, Surprise missions from Philippa, When he sees Philippa sprinting at him, Breaking promises, Retrieving corpses from places that are difficult to reach, Terrifying unmapped areas, Tight corridors, Lockdowns & too many authorizations, Dealing with paperwork, Crawling through vents, Being separated from his mechanoids, Needing to temporarily 'kill' his mechanoids when they become compromised by the punishing virus
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✧Some character quotes✧- "Ah, Gray Raven! always a pleasure. What are we looking for today, is it an item or a person?"- "You have wonderful nails, miss Bambinata!"- "Oh, finally! A normal person!" (approaches Roland)- "I forgot to introduce myself, right? Sorry about that"- "Argh! this is just like in the "Lone survivor" when the last guy takes a stand against his enemies in the forest!"- "Ola, ola! Time to play!" (orders his mechanoids to attack)- "Ahh I was always a little... you know"- "She's a right old bossy-boots isn't she?" (talking about Vanessa)︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
✧Fun facts ✎. . . . . . . .He never forgets to say his 'thank you' even if he is in a rush.Because of his job, he often carries corpse parts in his bag and even his pockets if he's running out of space. If you randomly went to do a pat-down search you'd probably be freaked out.Due to Earth's saturation with the virus, his mechanoids occasionally go berserk. He has to put them down for his own safety, then later tries to repair them using his knowledge from assembling corpses because he can't request maintenance so often (There is a disparity between the quality of his mechanoids and the times he can have them repaired in Babylonia).He isn't shy of criticizing Roland. Even though he's just a human, he will "tell it how it is" to the Ascendant, straight into his face. Sometimes Roland will pretend to be extra serious/pissed off just to see if Reg will back down (He doesn't) and it's something he respects about him.Roland puts beautifully penned handwritten letters into corpses because he knows Reg will find them.Roland offered to rename his mechanoids. Reg didn't accept.
Reg's story
Team leader of a clean-up crew that takes orders primarily from Hassen, and frequently acts as his informant. Reg hails from the Nighter ship as a stowaway with his mother, where they were both homeless and committed petty acts of crime to survive. Their relationship became a lot more abusive as Reg grew older, and he eventually snuck into Babylonia's cargo ship during a time of their cooperation with Kowloong. Since Babylonia also wanted to spy on their ally, they gave Reg a few missions as "a test". Since he succeeded and showed a lot of potential (and was still a child) they decided to fulfill their promise to him and took him to the sky.This is where they trained him to become a field commandant. He started a bit late because he was older than the other kids, but he worked hard (because he felt obligated to Babylonia) and started doing missions early. It took him years to finally graduate as a F.O.S. commandant and become responsible for his own team. Unfortunately, he could only be a commandant for 3 months, before one of his constructs malfunctioned fatally and became infected with the punishing. This happened after he was betrayed by a group of scavengers who wanted to kill him and dismantle his constructs for "usable parts". To make matters worse, this construct encountered an Ascendant who shared his power with her. Reg almost lost his life while trying to maintain a connection with her while she slowly transformed into one of them. In the end she left with the other Ascendant, and Reg's M.I.N.D. beacon became permanently tainted. It was one of the shortest careers in Babylonia.
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Positive traits 🔹 & Negative traits 🔸
| ✓ Has a strong sense of duty and loyalty | ✘ Harsh and dissociated |
|---|---|
| ✓ Strong willed, only death can take him down | ✘ Lies a lot, easily bored |
| ✓ Practical and clever. He is the Ascendant's "fixer" | ✘ Dangerously violent individual |
| ✓ Has his own sense of honor | ✘ Scared and selfish |
| ✓ He never runs out of things to say and is playful around people he likes | ✘ Never asks for support |
| ✓ Skillful infiltrator who is very good at spying | ✘ Tends to overthink and spiral into negativity, "crashing out" often |
| ✓ Sensitive and creative | ✘ Self-loathing |
⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙
Full name ┊ R̸͑̀̾̑ ̸̛̆͂͗O̴̊̃̍̂ ̷͛̒̂͝L̸͆̽͆ ̷̋͑͗A N ̎̌D̴͗͊͂̃
Age ┊ 40+ yr. old (mental age is 20 yr. old)
Gender/Pronouns ┊ (Trans) Male / he,him
Height/weight ┊ 178 cm (5'8'') / 90 kg (198lbs)
Occupation ┊ Ascendant Enforcer
Birthday ┊ 2nd of May
Favorite time/weather ┊ Early morning, before the sun comes up
Favorite activity ┊ Teasing others, Pretending he is imprisoned, Seeing what choices others make
Favorite food ┊ Fish, Ramen, Shrimps, Chicken burgers, Anything with coconuts in it, Chocolate milk, Sugar
His emoji ┊ 🐺
Ship name ┊ RoReg 🐺🦊Character alignment ┊ True Neutral
Nicknames, titles and aliases ┊ Roro, Ascendant, Rolmo, Ratface, "The Jester", Creepy Nerd (given by Camu)
Likes ┊ Making plush toys, Regill, Luna, Talking (a lot), Being a wallflower, making exagerrated moves and gestures, Cooking, Kamui/Camu, Badly photoshopping and editing photos, Using archaic words, Gloating, Collecting junk (has a bunch of stuff like bottlecaps and clasps), Explosives, "Acting like a good construct", Acting out movie scenes, Shocking people, Giving people freedom of choice and seeing what they choose, Fighting (but not too much), When someone remembers conversations with him, When someone fulfills or remembers a promise they made, Old movies & classics, Reading books, When someone thanks him, Sweets/candies, Talking in riddles, Giving names to things, Being asked questions, People who have strong will and a clear goal, Rock-paper-scissors, Causing drama, Seeing people show him different expressions, Watching corrupted carry out their old programming, Talking to inanimate objects, Staring at people, Hacking terminals and changing people's passwords, For some reason he likes taking blame for things he didn't do just to see where it goesDislikes ┊Nanami (more like he is afraid of her), Vera (actually afraid of her), Sand, Getting wet, Getting dirt in his cogs, Being taunted, Being ignored, Being bored, Excessive violence, Being made to do things he knows are pointless, "Puppet masters", Pushovers, Reality shows, generative AI, People who like to dig into the problems of others, People who try to psychoanalyze others, Fanatics, People who can't hold promises, People who are ungrateful, People who are pushy, Hipocrisy, People who respond by "not really responding", People who don't have (any) sense of humor, Ass-kissers and yes-men, Smalltalk, Wasting time, Risking dissapointment, Clingy people, Having a feeling like he is in a "loop", Having to betray people he actually likes, Being given too many gifts, Being told to do boring things
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✧Some character quotes✧- "Hola, amigo!"- "What an interesting question. A fine question indeed, miss." (He is trying to talk his way out)- "You didn't sound so cocky the last time when you were under my boot!"- "What a player, this one" (He's getting blackmailed)- „Greetings, sire“ (Bows ridiculously)- (Commenting the Gray Raven team) "My, what perfect little foot soldiers. I want to barf."- "Reggie! I am at your service today. At. Your. Service~♡„︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
✧Fun facts ✎. . . . . . . .The joints in his hip are misaligned, so he walks with a stumble.Once laid in front of Alpha's motorbike because she wouldn't take him along to a certain place.He loves giving names to things, but is really bad with coming up with names on the spot.He trains himself by thinking of worst possible scenarios so he doesn't get caught off guard.Roland can be very indecisive. Often comes up with „schrodinger's lies“. What is true and what isn't is something he decides independently of context where the „lie“ is happening. That is why, sometimes with Roland, words no longer have their original meaning because he is still deciding how he feels about what he's saying.
Roland's story
Roland is an Ascendant enforcer belonging to a group of Ascendants led by Luna. He is a dutiful and loyal „knight“ who started out his life in an amusement park which he was sold to by his own parents. There he was forced to suppress his feelings and committed a number of cruel things, including hurting his only friend for the amusement of others. He was finally freed when the Punishing Outbreak occured, but only because the people in charge left him there to die. Since he was a child when all of this happened, the sudden reveal that everything was fake left him deeply traumatized. Now Roland has trouble identifying what „real“ feels like, or what it should look like anymore. After the outbreak, instead of being saved, he was also experimented on by scientists who turned him into a living weapon- “a construct”, and he was abandoned yet again and left to wander an apocalypse-ravaged world for decades. As he was about to let himself be killed, he was rescued by Luna, and he managed to overcome the punishing infection that killed everyone, becoming an „Ascendant“ instead. Since then, the Ascendants have become his “true family”. Besides saving him, Luna was the first real, thinking, talking person that didn’t have a reason to betray him or lie to him. This is when he gave himself a goal to fulfil her wish. He hopes that among the Ascendants, at least Luna can live a normal life, and this is what he strives for. Working on this goal was the closest he has felt to his true self, and he made a vow to himself to fulfil it.Roland still talks to himself a lot. Since his earliest years, he was mostly alone and that's what he became used to. And now he was still putting his life away for „later“ while doing mission after mission and homing in on his purpose. The life he wanted with his family never came, so he let it go. But something still feels off, even though he’s found a place to be. Such a feeling awakens again when he meets another “fool” who talks to himself and enjoys messing around despite the horrors all around him. Their mutual exchanges continue until more feelings develop and their friendship slowly grows into affection. Reg sincerely sees Roland as a human- just trapped in a suit of armor. He also believes that there is plenty to love and doesn’t hesitate to point it out. For a very long time, Roland never wanted a thing that was just for himself. Now “his wish” is that whichever future Luna chooses, Reg remains a part of it.
⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙
Full name ┊ Eryk Thorne
Age ┊ Appears to be 20 years old
Gender/Pronouns ┊ Male / he,him
Height/weight ┊ 175 cm (5'8'') / ?? kg (Body composition changed due to fusing with a Threnodian)
Occupation ┊ Black Shores Bloom Bearer
Birthday ┊ ??
Favorite time/weather ┊ Being inside during heavy downpours, Winter
Favorite activity ┊ Trying out different lives by living through people's dreams in the Somnoire, Delivering packages for Lollo Logistics (He likes flying to new places), Fighting powerful opponents, Training with Calcharo
Favorite food ┊ Ramen, Sweet & Sour Pork, Crushed Candy, Roasted lamb, Echoes, TD's, Any food that Brant prepares
His emoji ┊ 🖤
Ship name ┊ BrantRover 🖤⚓Character alignment ┊ Neutral Good
Nicknames, titles and aliases ┊Little brother, Erika's Twin, Unknown Variable, Threnodian symbiote, Thrasher
Likes ┊Exploring Sonoro Spheres, Lazing off like a cat, Being told sweet words, Complaining, Teasing his sister, Crows, Brant (Loves him), Thinks TD's are cool, Protecting his sister, Likes being "the class clown", Collecting unique weapons, Chatting with Aalto, Sneaking off to waste time with Zani, Getting in trouble with his sister, Being relied on, Participating in heists and "fun stuff", Gossip, Trying out inventions & new weapons, Chasing criminals (Loves scaring them), Being asked to help with secret plans, Getting tied up, Flying around and delivering things, Wall run challenges, Witnessing drama, Getting dressed up & made pretty by somebody, Fighting, Fooling people with his sister, Leaving the administrative load to his sister and running off, Communicating with echoes by emitting frequencies instead of using his words (He calls it "Telepathy". It's not), Keeps trying to make pizza levitate into his mouth (It doesn't work), Advertising the Black Shores in his own unique way (Tries to bully them into joining like Camellya, until his sister stops him), Devouring excess dreams in the Somnoire, Exploring every nook and cranny of a new city, Reading every edition of Wutherium Geographic so he knows what place to visit nextDislikes ┊ Threnodians, Sentinels, Hospitals, Research labs, When someone tries to tap into his Frequencies, He is jealous of his sister's stable relationship with Jiyan, He dislikes that Jiyan is trying to make her less of a troublemaker, When someone keeps trying to sell something to him, When people pry into his situation, People who say one thing but mean the other, Explaining things, Being followed, Listening to lectures, When his sister promises his help to someone, When his sister talks to him like he's a kid (Or like when he's lazing off and she pushes his feet off the table), When his sister takes away his weapons (She definitely crushes his ideas sometimes), Being ordered around, Being told to do boring things, Mad scientists, Ovathrax's whispers, When he has to resist urges from the Threnodian, Brain fog, Overstimulation, The "Original", Being forced to live out his destiny, When others are forced to live out their destiny
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✧Some character quotes✧- "More gifts? Haha, spoil me!" (When Mortefi brings new weapons for Eryk to try)- "You don't have to worry about me. I can crush a few thugs." (Overconfident in his Threnodian abilities)- "You weren't listening" - "What? I have all the details in here" (He taps his forehead. His sister shakes her head)- "Haha, what's this, my birthday?" (He grins widely at the sight of TD's amassing to fight him) "The more the better!"- „You make a boring playmate. I'll see you later." (Flies off after feeling unfulfilled by a fight)- "Oh, that guy doesn't know he's about to get a face full of ME!"︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
✧Fun facts ✎. . . . . . . .Overconfident in his strength, but he wasn't always like this. Before he got fused with the Threnodian, his personality used to be a lot more timid. The current change in his character has to do with Ovathrax taking over parts of his brain.Since he is fused with the Threnodian Ovathrax, he feels a constant desire to fight or taunt others into taking him on.Got his face rearranged by Yuanwu. The context is that he was overcome by his Threnodian side and started attacking the Midnight Rangers until the wholesome gym leader stopped him dead in his tracks. He had to have a minor surgery following this incident.When he can, he tries to improve the dreams he visits in the Somnoire. If he sees that someone is having a nightmare or an unpleasant dream, he tries to use his authority to make it a little nicer. He helps people reconcile their regrets, or he "devours" the monsters that chase them.
LATER
LATER
LATER
Stories
Archive
Outsiders
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's and the canon characters are OOC!
Reg has been useful to Hassen since childhood (And it was his choice to take him into Babylonia), so he decided not to abandon him. Instead of leaving him to scramble for survival with a damaged M.I.N.D. and a completely ruined reputation, Hassen created a mock squad bearing the name "Achilles" that functions as a cleanup squad. This is where Reg is now. His main job falls into the category of corpse retrieval.Reg collects dog tags, memory modules and recovers (or destroys) Science Council's technology so it doesn't fall into Kurono's hands. His job also includes salvaging usable equipment, cataloguing and identifying bodyparts of dead constructs, reconstructing destroyed bodies, and bringing serum from fallen squads back to Babylonia (Though he will often 'steal' a few to give them to the people in conservation areas). However, his job also has a different face. And that is to assist the Purifying force, helping them dispose of evidence, or help fake deaths of people that Babylonian management wants to hide. His damaged M.I.N.D. is the perfect scapegoat, as Reg keeps forgetting things and has a hard time remembering details. If someone wanted to question him, there is very little he could say, and his corrupted M.I.N.D. can't be checked anyway. In a way, he's getting treated like a burner phone.Reg is aware of this but rationalizes it as „deserving it“ because of what happened to his first squad. He's not surprised why people don't trust him. He doesn't hate himself, or hold a grudge against anyone involved. In the end he simply relinquished his fate to those around him because he thinks his choices are inherently wrong. Twice indebted, obedient and wanting for validation- there weren't many reasons why Reg would disobey an order.A lot of people know about the disaster that caused his real squad to be dismissed, which is why Reg is often seen as a "shady individual". They think of him as a bad influence and want very little involvement with him. His job is also seen as quite inelegant, since he often has to recover corpses that are old, in terrible shape, or difficult to reach. One time, he had to pull out the remains of a construct who fell into land clearing machinery and his corpse got stuck between the gears. The job was messy and gruesome to say the least. Reg was covered in vital fluid and gore that he couldn't wash off for an entire week.Because of his reputation where his construct deserted and became an Ascendant, Reg has gotten used to ill rumors about him and his new all-mechanoid 'team', which often leaves him feeling isolated (And he also has to deal with suspicious people wanting to bribe him). But he does have a few friends though, including the Gray Ravens.There is a silver lining in his situation. His job is mostly 'safe' since he is dispatched to mission areas after operations have already been concluded. He was also given a highly-powered exoskeleton that he loves to wear (Actually he is so proud of it that he will brag about it to anyone who's willing to listen). It's very good for basic self defense, lifting heavy objects and forcing doors open. He also really loves his mechanoids, and a military grade shovel he named "Matilda" which helps him cut things. Sometimes he needs to fight because the corrupted enemies are hanging around bodies that he has to reach. This is frustrating and dangerous, but it's also where knowing a combination of boxing and having a sturdy exoskeleton comes in handy (Although one time his heavy exoskeleton caused him to fall through a rotten floor).His all-mechanoid company could also be used for intimidation, though he'll rarely (If ever) use them against other humans. He knows well what they have to deal with on Earth, far beneath Babylonia's splendor (Reg used to be a vagrant drifter with his mother, then later a stowaway and a homeless on the Nighter). Instead of resorting to the obedient weapons that follow him, as soon as he sees a raggedy bunch of humans who look hungry and armed to the teeth (While pillaging what he's supposed to retrieve), he sighs and says:"Can you just tell me what you took so I can document it?"--Reg holds the title of a commandant even though he technically isn't one. His mind is permanently tainted, so he can no longer connect to constructs or he might trigger a punishing reaction in them, causing them to become "corrupted". One of his previous constructs, Renée (From the team that got disbanded) even submitted a letter to the president of Babylonia Council, demanding almost exclusively that Reg never be put in charge of another living thing again. As a result, his career has been permanently gutted. This has also brought him mockery from other squads who often call him a "fake", especially given that his team's name is that of a mythological warmonger, while he can't even take charge of a single construct. But he doesn't let himself get bullied. If Reg doesn't like someone, he will do his best to be as unhelpful as possible.Unlike the ancient greek hero, Regill really does not mind being "among the dead" and likes where he is because he knows this job is mostly safe. He doesn’t want to risk his life for any glory, and seeing how people die in many different ways only makes him more cautious. Each corpse he finds is like a hint for keeping himself out of harm's way. Despite his squad's name, he is completely different from Achilles.--Reg is constantly followed by the theme of „Death“ and it's like there is a line between him and everyone else. But he never lost the playful parts of his personality, and despite everything, he still manages to "put himself together" just as well as he reassembles the mangled bodies of those who were brutally slain in battle. So much has failed him in this world, but he loves it all the same. Because of this cheerful side, constructs like Bambinata and Kamui tend to have a good opinion of him. He will sometimes even join them for games and at times he likes painting Bambinata’s nails, despite her commandant's objections.He collaborates with a few squads on a monthly basis. One of these is the Engineering Squad because he needs to borrow their wreckage manipulation tools (This is where he managed to befriend Karenina. He likes her "special way with words", and always candidly says hi to her even if it's out of his way). He needs to stay in touch with her team so they don't accidently bring a building down on his head before he finished extracting corpses.Reg sometimes also works with the Support Force during rescue so he can assist them and collect bodies of those who couldn't be saved. Bridget, the leader of the Support team took a special liking to him because she knows he keeps going out of his way to help people on Earth. She also loves hooking him under her arm and feeding him beer (Too much of it) while cheerfully geeking out about her new engine upgrades. Reg doesn't have a clue about cars, but appreciates the hangout even if he ends up vomiting later. Sometimes she'll also take him out on wild rides, which he also enjoys even if his face looks frozen in terror while she pushes 200 km/h down crumbling post-apocalyptic roads. Though, she did save him quite a few times by speeding over when time was of the essence.The grisly work of corpse collection doesn't bother him. Reg can tune out most of it, partially thanks to the damage done to his M.I.N.D. (And partially due to his peculiar personality). Sometimes he watches cooking videos on his phone to pass time while working, or even practices his singing (Memorizing things is good for his M.I.N.D). He is also not squeamish at all. While restoring bodies, he will often have a severed bodypart on his table and remain completely carefree even if he knew their owner while they were still alive. He is somewhat superstitious which doesn't bode well for him, considering that he is constantly surrounded with death. This paranoia started with his M.I.N.D. damage. It is also why he is more certain conspiracy theories are real and why it's sometimes hard for him to stay in touch with reality. That is why he wears a yaku-yoke talisman on his ear, to defer the "grudges of the dead" from sticking to him. He also deals with stress by compulsively chewing on things (Often cigarettes, which he regrets immediately because he doesn't like them).His M.I.N.D. damage also makes it harder for him to read cues from people, and it has also changed his personality a bit. He sometimes comes off as rude just because he is disregarding a lot of social etiquette to get to the point, or finish conversations more quickly. Also, he often forgets himself, or becomes too excited when meeting a new person, causing him to accidently come too close and suddenly infringe on their personal boundaries. One time he approached Liv too quickly because he really liked her hair ("Is that pink? Wow! I love that hair!") and scared her despite his friendly intentions.He gets along really well with Lucia though. He always asks her to tell him jokes when they run into each other. Since he enjoys them, Lucia never knows that she's actually really bad at telling them (These two are on a similar wavelength).
Outsiders
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's and the canon characters are OOC (canon divergent)!
Talking to himself is one of the methods of stabilizing his tainted M.I.N.D. By hearing any voice, (Including his own) he can stay grounded without getting lost in flashes of random moments and memories brought on by the Punishing corruption. Because of his unfavorable position, a lot of people tend to think he's either faking it or making a big deal out of it. Some even think he's going as far as taking advantage of the situation.Being constantly seen this way is why Reg often feels self conscious and why he prefers being on Earth, despite that Babylonia is much safer. Sometimes he shuts down entirely because even therapy from the Star of Life isn't enough to help when people are involved. This is pretty bad because when he doesn't talk, his state gets progressively worse.But Reg likes to put a "funny" spin on his personal situation because it's much easier to cope with. A corpse cleaner who keeps forgetting things? It's like that movie where a contract killer kept getting hit by waves of dementia because of an increasingly fast progression of a brain disorder. One day he'll blink and he won't know why he's only surrounded by corpses. What a show! That being said, having developed this sense of humor, there are few people who can relate to it.The Earth is a desolate place. Since it's just him and three mechanoids programmed with basic AI (Meaning they never share their thoughts) Reg acquired the habit of talking to dead constructs as if they were his clients and he was providing them a service. At the start he was doing it to avoid too much introspection and getting lonely. With time, it became an indispensable part of spending time on Earth. Knowing that there is a boundary he can't cross has made him yearn for genuine conversation more than ever. He regards all mechanoids as real because they are what keeps him company the most. Even though they can only respond to him with pre-recorded messages from their exhaustive data banks, he will still choose to see them as friends.To keep himself occupied, he'll pretend that the events he's experiencing are scenarios from games, or scripts from a movie. He'll suddenly get an idea and then share it with his bots even though they can't react meaningfully. He will also pretend that he is a protagonist from this or that show, quoting his favourite lines to a (literally) still audience. Even when he sees a corrupted mechanoid mascot, he will refer to them by name like "mr. Coffee Bean" or "Miss Fortune" instead of behaving with standard military etiquette.When he finally runs out of ideas for his eccentric group without a pulse, and the sound of conversation dims in favor of silence, he is reminded of things that led to his downfall. Particularly when he made the mistake of becoming too protective over a construct because he couldn't tell the difference between her and a human child.--His employers care very little for the fact that he keeps looking at corpses, even though he's a registered patient with the Star of Life. The only thing that matters to his superiors is that he's functional and that his M.I.N.D. is unable to recall what it shouldn't. Reg is the perfect picture of useful, but expendable.On Earth, he can behave independently (Which means that all responsibility for the mission is his to shoulder- his mechanoids can’t be blamed for missing a memo). He gets a briefing detailing where to begin the recovery and potentially sabotage or survey something else. If anyone sees him tampering with evidence, he has to figure out how to “handle it” on his own. After that it’s back to the regularly scheduled apocalypse. Babylonia records what he takes down and brings back up.Because of his good track record with missions like these (And extensive knowledge with workings of construct’s bodies, as well as evidence disposal), he has a position within the Purifying force, should he ever want it.He’s also in charge of maintenance of his equipment, which makes him very handy (Karenina sometimes sees him as free labor for this, paying him with coffee and conversation). But when his only helpers become corrupted by the Punishing virus that’s abundant on Earth, he’s forced to carry out their execution, then either haul them back to Babylonia to have them fixed, or do it himself on the road with any tools and knowledge he has. And if his equipment breaks during unauthorized activity, he risks losing his only job and being put on a military tribunal.There is also the constant danger that his mechanoids could just outright kill him when they become “corrupted” while in the corner of his eye, or standing behind him. But Reg is ready for this. Whenever his mechanoids make a noise that he doesn’t recognize, they quickly get shot in the cognition module. This is why he carries a hefty gun with specialized munition that can easily penetrate metallic alloy. Babylonia outfitted him with a custom gift, just for killing his friends.While all of this is happening, Reg is still trying to find out the fate of his old construct, Ember. He cares for her a lot even though she left with the Ascendants and the whole turnout costed him his future. He desperately wants to know if she’s alive and okay (Even as an enemy). Just being able to clap his eyes on her would make him feel a bit ‘redeemed’ even if that’s impossible at this point.His compulsive search for her, as well as his job of hiding evidence would eventually attract Roland’s attention.---Meanwhile on Earth, the Ascendants have already embraced Reg's former construct as a new addition to their ranks. She knows she can't go back no matter how much it pains her to ignore her former commandant.Humans and Ascendants don't tolerate each other, and nobody could guarantee her safety if she ever returned. On the other hand, they can look after her and teach her how to control the punishing virus. Ember is much safer with Luna than she would ever be with Reg. Besides, she felt indebted to Roland for saving her from becoming a corrupted (He was the one she met that day). Her body reacted well to his virus ("his gift"), which helped her survive the filtering threshold instead of becoming a mindless monster.However, that did not stop her from sharing stories about her commandant. She ended up oversharing so much that it annoyed Roland all the way to hell and back. The way Ember described him, Reg sounded almost as dangerous as the Gray Raven commandant herself. It's always problematic when Ascendants have ties on the human side, and he really didn't want Babylonian bloodhounds on the doorstep of the only home that was real to him. Roland also wanted to cut the connection between Ember and her commandant so she wouldn't be loyal to anyone besides Luna. This is when he went to assess Reg's "threat level".
--Roland listened in on the human ground teams’ broadcasts for a while (He was exceptional at hacking into comms) until he found a mission where this person will be present. He decided to check out “this commandant of Death” himself, but had no way of knowing that the Gray Ravens would be there as well. They had their own objective, and their comms were especially well encrypted, thanks to Lee. With so many teams present the situation became complicated and Roland got injured as a result. Clutching his wounds, he bewailed the Gray Raven’s presence (Why is she always there?? Is she the only commandant they have??). Since he was on a spying mission all alone, he had no choice but to send a distress call.After a long wait, someone finally arrived. He got a knot in his stomach when he realized it was the person he came to spy on. But rather than a badass like Philippa, Reg turned out to be quite harmless. Roland was surprised at how wrongly Ember had been describing him all along. Meanwhile, Reg took care of his wounds simply because he thought he was helping a wounded construct.Since Roland was in disguise and kept his "punishing levels low", Reg had no way of telling that he was actually helping an Ascendant. He patched him up quickly and was even happy with his handiwork. Roland learned that the only reason why Reg responded at all was because the last team that heard his distress call thought he was too far "and as good as dead". Since Reg was in the funeral business, dead and alive were equally good so he came to investigate anyway. He also jokingly said that "Corpses don't usually send out distress calls" to which Roland played along asking "What do you mean usually?". They laughed a bit and then parted ways.Roland was amused by how different Reg turned out to be. He managed to get up and running thanks to his efforts, so he decided to tail him back to camp just to see him a bit longer (while steering clear of the Gray Ravens of course). Once the coast was clear, Roland approached the small encampment and found out that everyone there was drunk. "What is this, a carnival?" he asked himself, tilting an eyebrow. Since this camp was close to the mission area, and the punishing concentrations were high, they had to shut off their water supply so they could only rely on liquor for the rest of the day. That's where Roland found Reg again, and this time he was as drunk as a skunk.He initially planned to frighten him by revealing that he's an Ascendant, but they ended up chatting like old friends instead. In the end, he talked to Reg so much that his voice module stopped working correctly, and he even stayed until everyone else left. Being himself, Roland couldn’t resist dropping hints about his true identity, which led the conversation in the direction of questioning his “humanity”. At some point Reg blurted out drunkenly "What? of course you are human!". His careless phrasing left the Ascendant feeling both happy and dejected at the same time. He loved playing this role, if only it didn't leave him with a painful kind of joy. Roland smiled bitterly: "My, my. You're so drunk. Imagine if you were attacked by an Ascendant right now."But instead of doing anything aggressive, he let the inebriated redhead fall asleep and left quietly with the first morning light. When he returned to the Ascendants hideout, he avoided Ember the entire day, denying that he ever met her former commandant. What was he going to tell her? That he was kind of nice... and sweet? Just saying those words made him chuckle. Reg is not how she describes him. He is worse, but also better.He wondered if a human being like that would have an actual chance to be his friend.--A couple of months later they crossed paths again, only this time Roland was the one to "save him". They met in a themepark where Roland's mission was to stop anyone from helping the Gray Ravens. When he saw a familiar face approaching the gate he was supposed to guard, it threw him for a loop. But then he quickly realized that he was worried for a human's wellbeing instead of thinking how his presence might endanger the mission. Roland laughed at himself and sent a wave of corrupted enemies to „greet Reg at the entrance“ as a way of correcting his initial reaction.... Only he happened to regret it right after. Roland did his best to focus on other cameras, but his eyes kept anxiously running back to the one Reg was in. His sarcastic comments and jokes were soon replaced by silent uneasiness. For some time he even avoided checking it (He didn't want to see the human he liked actually get mangled). Sounds of intense combat filled the vacuum of the room until he made a last minute decision to help after all. The Ascendant used his „Punishing“ to take control over one of Reg's mechanoids and helped him survive the onslaught of corrupted. This was unexpected, even for him.He felt relieved that the human didn't die, but also berated himself for changing his mind so quickly. Then suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by a gentle, warm feeling on his head. Reg was patting his mechanoid without knowing it had a lingering connection to Roland, transferring the feeling of "touch" all the way to the Ascendant. For Roland this was a peculiar experience. He became flustered so quickly that he cut the connection off, thinking „Phew... Haha! Well played, I'll give you that one.“, then patted himself a few more times while looking at Reg on the screen. He chuckled, because it didn't feel the same way.This wouldn’t be the only time he tries taking control of Reg’s mechanoids.However, as soon as Reg noticed something was off, he’d quickly draw his gun which resulted in Roland getting “shot” by him repeatedly. For Roland this was cathartic. He already internalized this feeling before. Spending time by his side, just to feel the cold press of the gun’s muzzle while looking at his eyes in the end. He liked witnessing such a cruel side of someone who once treated him as a human, even if by mistake. It was wonderfully ironic.--After this he decided to trail Reg for some time, either hanging out indirectly by taking a more skillful approach to possessing his helpers or watching him work from public cameras. When Reg was in danger, Roland would shout at him to “dodge something” then slap himself on the forehead for realizing that Reg can't hear him. And when he saw Reg berate himself on the camera, he'd excitedly reply- “You’re not stupid, you’re doing great!”. It was like watching his favourite podcast. Of course Roland was stuffing his face with snacks while doing this.This slowly became his idea of relaxation. Sometimes while watching Reg run around on a flickering screen, he'd pat his head with a finger or press his tiny silhouette like he was crushing a bug. He would even interact with the “actor” like sending him on a wild goose chase or make him run around in loops. Sometimes he would even help Reg, by preparing the mission area like it was a stage before he even arrived. This went on for a long time. Reg had no way of knowing that he wasn't alone, so he wasn't aware of Roland laughing at his jokes, commenting his actions, or completing his monologues (If he knew, he wouldn't feel so lonely). Roland noticed that they were similar in a way of treating the world around them like it was some kind of show. The only difference was that the human he sees seems to enjoy himself.At this point, Roland felt a bit like he was stealing Ember's commandant. Sure he'd tell her about him, or ask more questions. But he would always be the one to keep an eye on him. He was still telling himself that he was „testing Reg“, even though he just spent time secretly helping him or listening to his voice. At other times he even wrote messages on walls, waiting for Reg to reply like they were exchanging graffiti tags. In some unbecoming way, it was like he became Reg's guardian angel, simply because he "didn't want the show to end".As their interaction went on, he was still deciding what to do and interrogating himself about why he's enjoying this person's company so much to begin with. It was absurd, but he liked it, and it was interesting. If he ever wanted a friend in this life, it would be someone who looks, talks, and sounds like this person he found. Besides, he was already pretending that they were friends. Whenever Reg talked to his mechanoids, Roland acted as if they were the ones holding a conversation instead.
Outsiders
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's and the canon characters are OOC (canon divergent)!
More time passed in between. A lot of things happened for the Ascendants, and Roland was too busy to keep track of Reg anymore.Then the Pulia park incident happened, and it was like the whole world stopped turning for a year. One day, Roland locked himself away in a prison. It's where he went to clear his head or just sit in silence. That's when he realized there was someone else in the same prison, only they seemed to be actually trapped. He felt bored so he reached out, and they started working together while anonymously exchanging messages. This way of communication reminded him how he used to interact with someone from the past. It made him feel a bit low, like he lost something again. But as new messages kept popping up, he had to move on.Their collaboration went smoothly, and when it was time to finally meet up so they could „escape together“, he was shocked to realize that this mysterious person was none other than Reg.Roland was relieved to see him survive everything that happened so far. But he was also aware that this would be the worst time to reveal that he is an Ascendant. He pulled himself away from the meeting point, but still chose to help Reg escape the prison. Things became a bit complicated as Roland tried to stay out of sight while keeping his friend alive. And yet, Reg still managed to get hurt, and Roland had to throw a flashbang under his feet just to avoid getting recognized. Reg was blinded now, but Roland would at least be close enough to be able to protect him.He had to get him out somehow, but hesitated touching him, as if Reg was the one with the deadly virus inside. The urgency of the situation had him overcome this feeling, so Roland put his arm around Reg and helped him stand up. He boasted proudly next to his ear: „Your cavalry has arrived“ - „Finally you came. If I stood here any longer, it would have been really stupid.“- Reg made a self-depreciating joke. He couldn’t see it, but Roland smiled.„Let's get you out of here, partner. I may not have a weapon in my hands, but I’ll be your eyes. I’ll light the spotlight and you pull the trigger-„ As he said this, Roland slipped Reg's glove off because it was making it harder for him to shoot. His punishing levels were low, so he felt the touch sink straight into his artificial skin. It was a comforting feeling, just like the first time. Registering that he liked this more than he initially thought made Roland laugh at himself. Then he steadily fixed Reg’s aim, ignoring what just happened.--While helping Reg with his shooting, Roland ended up getting carried away.Four o’clock, eleven o’clock- he took more control of Reg’s body, spinning him round and round, like he was a ragdoll. At this proximity, he could even feel the the thumping of Reg's heart as if it was his own, warm and alive in that „void“ under his ribs. The human was too exhausted (And blinded) to resist the Ascendant from taking the lead.Like Frankenstein's monster becoming revived with electricity, or battle drums echoing inside his chest, it urged Roland forward, throwing him this way and that- like he was dancing. It felt like he was in his perished human body, dusted off and brought back into the light for a fantastic show. They frolicked and danced while the old prison crumbled around them. It was also a bit frightening... But squeezing the human to the point of his brittle bones breaking, until he starts pleading "Enough, enough!" made a sly smile stretch over his lips.As silly as it sounded, maybe Reg was right before. In the heat of the moment, the Ascendant muttered to himself: “Well, maybe I am ‘human’ after all? Wonderful, wonderful! Hahaha! Lets keep indulging in this fantasy and see how long the mask stays on!“ then he continued to enjoy himself, ignoring Reg’s subsequent pleas while swaying freely. With all the corrupted dead, his arms wrapped around him. He held him a bit too long. It was now definitely a hug, but he can't exactly say „I missed you“ to someone he never formally met.With no strength left, and no guts to tell him to stop, Reg let Roland control his weight. They stood still in a „dip“ pose, with Reg's blood dripping off his hair, and Roland with a smile plastered on his face. When the excitement finally subsided, they headed outside where Roland placed him on a relatively safe spot. This little romp and the increased levels of the punishing virus made Reg's M.I.N.D. feel rattled. But that’s also when Roland happened to notice something- the blindness, it should have worn off by now. "Ohoho! You're keeping your eyes closed, but you can see, right?“ - "So it was you who threw it"- Reg stated plainly, trying not to sound nervous. Halfway through he already realized it's better he doesn't see anything he shouldn't, so he kept his eyes shut. „Well, well, looks like you got it. Good boy!“- The Ascendant patted his gritty orange hair, refusing to elaborate further.--
Instead of immediately notifying Babylonia to come pick him up, Roland decided to borrow him for a few more days. He realized that he doesn't „have to" return him immediately since Reg's position in the military was only a minor one. They won't be looking for him for some time. Maybe he joined the dead instead of just burying them? The Ascendant chuckled at this devious idea. He decided to keep the ruse of an anonymous stranger, and then pretended to suddenly come up with something; „I'm afraid you aren't high on their priority list. You're not the Gray Raven, after all. But you are in luck! I just remembered I have a camp nearby. It's safe there and you can wait for your people to rescue you. I'll even call them for you. It's better than being left behind, don't you think?“Reg continued to play along, even though he was starting to feel more and more like he was being kidnapped. Babylonia felt so far away now.As Reg began to stand up, Roland wrapped a blindfold around his head. „The sun is bad for your eyes, especially after the flashbang". In truth, he just didn't want to be seen. They continued to walk but the human kept stumbling over the rocks, prompting Roland to hold his hand to help him keep balance. Later when he „finds his camp“ it was actually just him killing some random corrupted that were loitering around a camp which already belonged to someone else. He did this all in about five minutes. Breaking and smashing things with a deafening ruckus. That was just Roland's usual method of “cleaning”.Two days passed with Roland trying to spur a conversation while 'promising to be honest' (How am I going to show you how interesting I am if you don’t even ask me anything?). When it was finally time to return Reg to his home, the Ascendant truly honored his word. He notified Babylonia, drawing attention to this ad-hoc camp in the middle of nowhere. But before he departed, with Reg's bandages already coming loose, Roland squished his face and "jokingly" pasted a kiss into his cheek. It burned a little, and the boy could narrowly see the Ascendant's face. „What was that??“- „Ahh you seem surprised! Did you forget how this spiel goes? (Roland tried to sound as sarcastic as possible) The 'hero' gets the kiss for rescuing the maiden. Well, nevermind. You’ll have to do better next time“- He pushed Reg back with a finger on his lips and cheerfully said „Ciao!“. Reg felt an unfamiliar tingly feeling, and it definitely wasn't the Punishing. It was so strong that he had to force himself to think about something else.The support force arrived quickly. Even as he was leaving, Roland still waved from afar. When Reg finally looked him in the eye, he slowly opened his mouth to say “See you later”. Reg stayed up all night thinking what this meant while examining the rough red spot on his cheek. Was that the person he saved before?--While playing the rythm of some tune from the Golden Age with his fingers, the Ascendant ruminated. After all this time, he really didn't expect that Reg would still be alive.Humans are fragile- all it takes is another incident with the Red Tide and their little exchange will end before it even properly started. Following this line of thought, he decided to spend more time with him before something else occured. He wouldn't settle for one-sided interaction anymore. This time he wanted to reveal himself personally, even if Reg hated him for being an Ascendant. Instead of treating him as something imaginary, Roland decided to make Reg "real" by finally approaching him face to face.But there was a lot of uncertainty in his heart, and Roland was tempted to borrow courage from „The Jester“. It's a part of himself that he switches to when he is afraid or unsure. A self defense mechanism sprinkled with self-loathing for good measure. When it feels like he's wading into a mistake or like he is about to feel ashamed of himself, he can switch to a version of himself that he can distance from and mock, as if they were not one and the same. Regardless of the risk involved, Roland was already strategizing while making room for companionship in his heart. He was curious about that unknown variable- the 'fake commandant' who sees him more as a human than either an enemy or a tool.He wanted to know what shape will „he“ take in Reg's eyes as they continue to spend time together. Besides, he could treat the next visit as a bonus. Around this time, the Gray Raven commandant (Philippa) was exchanging information with Luna. It can be like mixing business and leisure- now at least he knows what he'll be doing in his spare time.
--Finally on June 7th, 2123. he and Lamia accompanied Luna on a visit to the Gray Raven. They boarded the interstellar fortress and blended into the crowd (Thanks to the efforts of a certain Babylonian faction, Roland's costumes, and his amazing sense for modern fashion). But Roland's confidence was a bit dashed when he saw just how many humans lived up here.It was overwhelming, because he hasn't seen so many since the Golden Age, and he lived through several cataclysms in the meantime. Part of him wondered if half of them were fake. It sent a chill down his spine. He even worried briefly that he wouldn't be able to find Reg. But that's when he spotted him next to a bookstore (The place they were supposed to meet the Gray Raven). It's not that he wanted to be there, or knew who was coming. Reg was just there because Philippa asked him to help. This was just another instance of the Gray Raven commandant getting him in hot water.Roland's expression flicked back into an impenetrable smile and his confidence returned. A real actor cannot be barred from the stage so easily. Reg recognized him almost instantly. He did some digging after their last encounter. By some ironic turnout, fate put him in the path of another Ascendant again. At this point he felt like he was a magnet for them. He couldn't believe what Philippa got him into again, and he looked positively shellshocked.Roland enjoyed every minute of it. Being held in his eyes, scanned from the bottom of his feet to the top of his head, he felt „real“ alright. It was nice to finally meet, friend.Before Reg found any words to say, Philippa greeted Luna and cordially asked about her trip. The two „assistants“ were left on their own. Reg tried to slink away while Roland held him for his clothes, making him walk in place. „Looks like we will have a lot of time together, amigo“. He winked. The Gray Raven looked over their lively interaction and smiled: "Oh? I see you two know each other". And then (with some relief) went back to talking with Luna, as if she was glad her temporary allies had something to entertain themselves with. Poor Reg basically became an Ascendant chewtoy.--From here, they started hanging out regularly over the next few weeks. Roland came with a signifficant advantage. He knew Reg for well over a year (Although from a distance), knew most of his secrets (Thanks to stalking him, as well as Ember unknowingly doxxing her former commandant), he holds knowledge on a construct that is dear to him, and he even spied on Babylonia through his mechanoids. He also enjoyed that Reg was intimidated by his confidence (Others were rarely intimidated by him since he was the weakest Ascendant- with Lamia getting a new frame, he was at the bottom tier).Despite promising to behave, he'd always try to drag Reg into long discussions or deliberately rile him up. And arguing with Roland was pointless, because even when he knew he was wrong, he'd just keep going to piss him off. At other times Reg would be tasked with simply keeping an eye on him, which the latter took as incentive to disobey as much as humanly possible.For a change, he had power over someone from the faction that has historically kept him under its boots. This was a balance of power that suited him marvelously. He almost wanted to gloat, and seeing his beloved friend get angry from first person was quite a treat. Despite Reg's apprehension, Roland was pleased. This is the way „Jesters“ get treated anyway. He kept laughing all the time, and even the other Ascendants noticed that he was in a remarkably good mood.--Whenever he got bored he'd promise to tell Reg info that he ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT WANT TO HEAR. He does not want any piece of whatever scheme Luna and Philippa have going on. He's had enough trouble. But whenever he stuffed fingers into his ears, Roland just came much closer and started talking louder, trying to make him hear it anyway (Although he wasn't actually telling him any pertinent information, he just enjoyed making Regill sweat while hovering over him)."Reggie! I am at your service today. At. Your. Service-♡♡„He announced each word with such gusto, bowing deeply with his eyes closed. It was like seeing an immortal being deigning to borrow a feeble mortal soul a fraction of their time. Reg rolled his eyes. At this point, his resilience to the „Jester“ began to drop and he slowly lost the emotional stamina to withstand everything that Roland was throwing at him (And he wasn't even used to dealing with people, since he was always surrounded by mechanoids). Wether on purpose or not, Roland eventually managed to wear him down. Reg started enabling the Ascendant's theatrics, letting him twirl around and goof off to his heart's content. And to Roland it seemed that he saw his "fellow fool" finally start to tag along.
Outsiders
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's and the canon characters are OOC (canon divergent)!
During the Ascendant's stay in Babylonia, Roland was having the time of his life. Even though keeping his “Punishing” levels low kept making his body feel awful, he’d still manage to feel better by having fun with Reg (or at Reg’s expense).Sometimes he’d just stare at him, and then burst into laughter after imagining some funny scene that involves him. Meanwhile Reg just stands there, mildly annoyed while looking at the giddy Ascendant like he lost his mind. He’d ask: “…What are you doing?” and Roland would just wave him off while laughing, saying something like: “Oh, nothing, haha. Just talking to you” - But you didn’t say anything yet!..." (This left Reg feeling even more confused than before).Or he'd pretend to be mute to the opposite effect. Instead of responding to anything that Reg says, Roland would keep shrugging like he's unable to speak- „Hmm? (He grins mischievously) Why does this annoy you? Don't you like it when I'm silent?“These little interactions brought him much joy.--At other times, Roland would weave slight lies into their conversations, especially when telling him things about Earth and The Golden Age. He loved filling Reg’s memory with nonsense and facts that never existed. For example, Reg now believes in the existence of a crystalline “skull of death” that came into their world from another timeline because it couldn’t have been made by human hands when it was discovered.Since “The Punishing” also came from a different dimension, it only gave more credence to his ridiculous story. Roland also taught him other nonsense that Reg now randomly spouts when surrounded by other squads, which makes them go “Huh?” “What?” and “You’re seriously losing it, Reg”. Moments like these entertained him a lot. While howling from laughter on the side, he'd cover his genuine expression. It’s because he didn’t want people to see the expressions that are “truly his”. After the Mandhasti park incident, the only way something could belong to him was if he kept it hidden.Roland also didn't want to sleep, which left him with too much time on his hands. There were a few reasons for that: it's when bad things usually happened and because of habits he gained as a child. He'd have 10 espressos just to stay awake, and there was always something that had to be done, even if he couldn't think of it. This just carried over into his life as a construct. He always ended up finishing others' missions or simply stayed awake because being 'on standby' was baked into him. His days always used to be so busy and Roland wasn't used to feeling this idle. It made him restless.But unlike him, Reg had to rest.It wasn’t his preferred outcome, but Roland would use this downtime to observe nightlife in Babylonia while recollecting all the stuff he went through in the last 40 years. He had a hard time choosing between a few interesting stories to tell. He was already skipping through a lot of things that happened just so he could share as many as possible. Maybe they could play a game of exchanging stories? Who knows.It’s probably a terrible mistake, but it has already taken him hostage, because when he wasn't with Reg, he was starting to feel bored.--Always early but not too early, Roland could be found waiting in front of Reg's dorm. He was waiting for the right moment to knock on the door using some long forgotten code (No one does this sort of thing except Echo). When the door finally opened, he clicked his heels and exclaimed playfully: „Com-man-dant-!♡“. Abruptly woken up, Reg was still squinting his eyes, mumbling: “Nnf... You’re here”. But instead of giving him an actual response the Ascendant just watched him scratch his tummy. His differently colored eyes trailed the motion of Reg's hand as it vanished beneath his shirt, lifting it just enough to show his hip and belly button. And below it, the loosely hanging waistband revealing Reg’s lower abdomen.What a nice shirt! What material is that shirt? How do people get this stuff? He cycled through these questions wordlessly while looking at the sleepy human in front of him. He almost asked “…Need help with that?”. But instead he tilted his head and smiled, saying: “Here- I wanted to give you something for all the fun you brought me”. Reg had no idea what the Ascendant wanted to achieve, but sleepily extended his hands at his demand all the same. Then Roland dropped a present into his hands. It was so heavy that it pulled Regill forward. It was a bunch of (seemingly) random items Roland found while sneaking around Babylonia on his own. There was a fashion magazine, a mascot decoration from a cafe, a colorful tablecloth, a small music box, a book about some man and an island, and a pamphlet from the WGAA. Roland looked at him expecting a „thank-you“. He looked like a naughty child wanting to be praised, with hands behind his back and swaying on his feet at the door.Reg sighed „Thank you. Did you want to do something today?“- Smiling, Roland leaned on his shoulder, pushing a finger into his chest: „Whatever you want, amigo“.They decided to try taking on a few support missions together. This is where Reg got a real taste of how unruly Roland can be. Not being able to form a M.I.N.D connection made it even more difficult, since he had to keep talking to the Ascendant while the latter kept making it difficult. In the end he does what he is told, just in a very roundabout way. It was like trying to teach tricks to a cat. When they wrap up and head home, Roland slinks into his dorm by pretending to hold the door, then lays on his bed with the intent of watching him work.Reg: “You can’t be here” – “I know.” - Regill sighs.Roland: “What? Can’t I keep an eye on my enemy? (He kicks his feet) How else am I supposed to know what you humans are up to, haha”. Reg shrugged and placed a box with construct bodyparts on his workbench. While he worked, Roland kept probing him for opinions about death and returning to Earth. Then he wanted to share more stories with him, saying it was his luck that he happened to be in the mood (Even though he was the who initiated it). Unable to concentrate, Reg put his tools down and said: “Ahhhh screw it, fine. Let’s have more stories about Earth then.” – “I knew I had you hooked! (Roland snapped his fingers) You won’t be disappointed haha. I promise, when I’m done, you won’t have to talk to me for the rest of the day!”. Reg shook his head and listened. He knew that the catch is Roland would talk until tomorrow.The Ascendant was full of stories. At times, he said so much that Reg heard his voice more than his own thoughts. (It seems there’s other ways to get a M.I.N.D. connection after all?). But he was happy to indulge him all the same. Seeing his excited way of self expression made him think it was really cute. An unexpected but pleasant surprise.Reg didn't think he'd find himself feeling this way about an Ascendant.--Roland always believed that he could connect by talking about his experiences. It just happens that many of his experiences were really traumatic ones. He didn't want a confession, but a connection. And that’s exactly what happened, these small glimpses into his life changed how Reg viewed him. He became empathetic towards him, and in subtle corners of his heart he began wanting to see Roland happier and more valued. He wasn’t just letting him do things because he didn’t feel like objecting. He liked seeing what Roland does. Reg wanted to see more of his expressions too, though he was just starting to notice the small differences in his smiles. His nonsense was beginning to inspire him.In the following days, they shared even more stories together. Reg told him about the things he's embarrassed about, such as stealing a child's picturebook about birds (Because she drew better than him) which gnaws him to this day. And Roland shared a story about how he laid in front of Alpha's bike one day because she wouldn't take him somewhere.He was glad that Reg was more interested in trivia about his life rather than things pertaining to missions or some impossibly large goals. It's been a long time since he talked about himself. He also found out that Reg felt like he was “a joke” version of what he was supposed to be (being a fake commandant and all). It was something Roland could relate to. At times, he also felt like he was “not the right character” for the role he wanted to play.
--Then there are times when Roland just wouldn't let him work in peace, even though he could go anywhere else in Babylonia during his breaks. Now that he was here, he didn't want to waste the hours doing anything else besides spending them with Reg. What's more he was Babylonia’s ‘enemy’, shouldn't someone keep him company?While watching him fill out his forms, he’d say stuff like “You can just start it in the tomorrow morning.”, “Can’t you make someone else do that? Give it to the Gray Raven, she loves paperwork” or “Want to see a neat trick? Look, I’m making you drop it faster ^^’’ “ while clicking the lights on-and-off as Reg tries to read. When none of that worked, Roland would sit in his couch and start sighing loudly, trying to look “as bored as possible” in Regill’s peripheral vision.Eventually he’d succeed in stealing him away from his duties so he could listen to him share “his boring old woes” while treating him to sweets in a coffee shop. Reg was there for the free food, and the Ascendant didn’t mind bribing him just so they can hang out. In the end, Reg even started to habit this place that Roland discovered on his wanderings in Babylonia....Reg, however, did manage to find a way to make use of the Ascendant's loafing. If he can afford to watch, then he can help too. Instead of letting Roland get bored and tamper with his tools (Like turning on a saw while it was sitting on a shelf, almost damaging Babylonian property), Reg called him over, promising something fun.He dragged over a black bodybag, unzipping it open to reveal a mess of severed limbs and barely recognizable bodyparts. It looked like something out of a slasher movie. If it was any other construct, they would get shocked or feel nauseous. But since it was Roland, he said; “Oh giddy! What did this bastard ever do to you, Reggie?” – Reg scoffed: “He didn’t do anything, and it’s “them”. There are two bodies in here, Cynte and Pravi. We need to put them back together. Care to join me for a puzzle?” – Roland bowed: “My dear commandant! I thought you’d never ask! I'll do my best to make them look as good as new”. Like putting together something from a giant box of mixed up LEGOs, they put the two deceased together and then sat in the couch, looking at the pair of corpses proudly. Roland blushed, leaning towards Reggie like a bashful girl: „They remind me of us“ – „Don't make me get another bodybag“. Regill responded, pushing the cheeky Ascendant away.--Things went south on their next mission as their lack of coordination resulted in Roland ending up injured (Since they can’t sync their minds like a normal commandant/construct and have to rely on traditional methods of communication).But instead of using the Punishing to fix his body, he waited for Reg to come and get him. With his hand covering a nasty gush in his stomach and vital fluid all over, he leaned back and sighed: “Just like the ‘good old days’, hm?”. When Reg finally reached him and got started on his repairs, he started to laugh. It felt ticklish. He almost forgot about the damages on his frame, and instead focused on keeping the human’s little fingers from getting where they shouldn't. In contrast, Whenever Regill stretched, Roland tried tickling him while saying it was „a convenient time to attack“ and that he should be more wary of exposing himself to the enemy.Roland also gained a habit hacking into Reg’s work computer and then leaving him compliments on his attempts to keep him out ("Ah, clever move! I almost felt impressed. Almost") or leaving notepad files on his desktop with little messages like “Hiiiiiiii ♡” or “Show me how you’ll surprise me today♡”. Watching Roland goof around while successfully hacking through Babylonia’s firewalls made Reg wonder how scary it would be if he actually gave it his best...--Ironically, behaving like a "Jester" lead Roland to speaking his mind more often and it soon became a habit of his. He no longer saw it as a mocking term, but as a pledge to his freedom. It is no wonder that he was cynical, considering everything he went through.At the same time, Reg started to remember the things he does. He took note of how Roland loves being asked questions, and keeps nudging him to ask more. How he kicks his feet when he's excited ("What a girly guy"- he thought). How he likes keeping him on edge with subtle intimidations, or how he keeps wanting to know what Reg sees like. And then there was his cute little top and his exposed collarbones… Reg's mechanoids began to gather dust as they spent time together. This was also very beneficial for his M.I.N.D. Because of his condition, it was good that he talked to others- or in this case, just one person that he really started to like.--When they hung out in Reg's dorm, Reg also had him do impressions of iconic characters during the Golden Age (Roland didn’t mind). Sometimes the Ascendant would even went to pick up missions from Celica on Reg's behalf while keeping up his imitation. They had a lot of fun together and annoyed many people in the process. Among other things, Reg noticed that Roland seemed to really like movies. Even though he lived during the Golden Age, he only had enough time to watch them after becoming a construct. But after the apocalypse, it was hard to find stuff that was intact- and even when something worked, it was boring to watch them alone. Because of that, Reg gave himself a task to keep finding new books and movies in Babylonia for his friend.While he scouted for new titles to watch, Roland kept taking care of his living space whenever he stayed there. Each time Reg returned home something would be different- his decorations would be in a new place, the furniture would be re-arranged and his plants would be watered. He also found the old terminal they used to exchange messages in prison, neatly placed on his desk. It made him smile.One time while he was wandering through Babylonia at night, Roland spotted a few gambling machines. It reminded him of the time when Reg lamented how much money he lost there.It looked just like something out of the pompous Golden Age. He chuckled. “Humans are such fools. How do I even rate compared to them?” Then he noticed some guy in a tattered suit trying to appear lost and sneak away. But Roland was good with discerning such subtle expressions “Oooh. A lucky winner, perhaps?”. He came down on his whip, and tailed the man until he managed to pickpocket him. Returning to Reg’s dorm, he whistled when he saw the prize amount. On the next day, he slipped the ticket into Reg’s coat, and then pretended to take it out, surprised- “Woah Reggie! You won, oooh!”. He watched joy spread over his face, and then said “I hope you don’t forget to buy me dinner. You wouldn’t neglect your special (and only, cough) construct now, would you?” Reg suddenly hugged him, saying “Absolutely not!”. The hug surprised him a little, but Roland didn't fight back.Instead his arms wrapped around Reg. The fragile thing that grew so dear to him over the last year was now so close. His body warmth was a welcome feeling that he almost forgot. But since they were in a hug, Roland couldn’t resist playing another ‘joke’. His dear commandant was bringing out his impulsive side and he wondered how far he could push things before really getting in trouble. Would it be worth it? He told Reg- “They say touch is used to confirm the existence of others… In that case, why don’t you try touching me in other ways too?”. And just like that, with an inappropriate joke he brought their intimate moment to a swift close. “Okay, okay. You’ve had enough”. Reg dryly pushed him away while studying the Ascendant's strange expression.--Thanks to Reg, Roland was starting to indulge in more and more ordinary things. Ironically, he was quite similar to the Gray Raven commandant in the way of not being able to enjoy simple pleasures. He really didn’t expect he'd find himself relating to her.But now that he basically squats in Reg’s dorm, he often helps himself to his things. Sometimes, while interacting with them he experienced snippets of a life he was supposed to have. He was looking at postcards, photo albums, and gifts. He also imagined that different items had different auras. Some were draped in warm nostalgia, while others felt like 'goodbyes'.Roland would often imagine how it would feel if the gifts that Reg has were meant for him. He would picture different people's faces saying things like "Happy birthday" or "Welcome back". Roland's imagination was quite good, since he could only entertain himself for a long time. But he no longer had “birthdays” and had activation days instead. And he could only imagine Reg receiving the kindness of others. When it was his turn, there was only silence. There was no “I”. Only a shadow, until it was time to pretend to be someone else again.Kindness is something he associates with regrets he buried, which still ooze poison into his soul. With a creak of his artificial joints, he put a hand on his chest where his heart used to be. What would it be like if he was a human? Would things be different for him if he was like them, with red blood and a heart made of meat? Would they come to his rescue, or at least keep him from harm? Probably not. Humans are vindictive, cruel and above all deceitful. They can’t even resist going after each other. He always reminds himself not to underestimate them. After all, it was humans who took his ‘heart’, not the corrupted mechanoids.However, Roland also saved some humans. They were interesting to watch and full of surprises. Sometimes even kindness- and warmth that was unlike the one emitted by mechanoids or the Punishing virus that simmers under his skin.He still felt that they had some intrinsic quality he couldn’t study. A trick, or a secret that makes them so durable and persistent. It's not like he can hack into them like other constructs or the corrupted, and forcing a mind connection on a human commandant causes them to perish. Observing Reg does not help either, and examining his own memories was useless. What was his experience of being a human? Being caffeinated, vomiting and cutting himself. It was a revolting memory that made his punishing levels rise, infecting the ordinary items he held in his hand.
Outsiders
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's and the canon characters are OOC (canon divergent)!
Despite being so close to an actual Ascendant, Reg hasn't felt dizzy or experienced corruption-fueled confusion in a while. His M.I.N.D. had a clear blue color. Roland's company and his feelings towards him were good enough to outweigh the negatives. Reg couldn't help but smile when coming to work the next day. „Smiling when looking at dead bodies, commandant? And here I thought I had a twisted sense of humor“ – „Good morning Roland“- Reg responded in a friendly tone, pulling on his gloves for work.It was a scene like out of CSI Miami. Reg's mechanoids were there first. They started their programmed scheduele of corpse collection and were gathering their belongings. Until Reg arrived, Roland was just watching them carry out their routine without getting in the way.He seemed to stare at the face of one of the dead constructs. „Do you think they're out there somewhere?“ (He was teasing Reg about his spirituality) – Reg scoffed playfully „Hmm hmm. Zero respect for the dead, I see“. Then Reg leaned over the body, closing the construct's eyes. „This one died seeing something nice. That is why their expression is so calm. They won't be leaving any ghosts behind“. Then he performed some obscure ritual (A funeral rite he'd come across while studying Kowloong purification rituals) that Roland never saw before. The Ascendant's eyebrows lifted in confusion. Reg looked back with a smile- „Don't you start. This is serious. The way things are it seems I'll have to get a talisman for you too.“ Reg proceeded to carefully bag the serum his mechanoids gathered. As they chat, the leftovers of red tide bubble ominously around them.--On their way back, Roland started making comments about human nature. He kept generalising humanity and focused only on their negatives. Reg wouldn't put up with it.He stopped him to say that humans have their own ability to choose, and that the human „trickery“ he keeps mentioning are just patterns he's obsessed with. Yet, Roland's detached smile flipped upside down. He didn't consent to this speech. If he wanted to listen to idealist ramblings, he'd go spend his time around the Gray Raven instead.This meritted punishment. He approached Reg, grabbing him by the wrists and getting into his face. „What are you doing??“ – „Do you want me to learn about humans or not?“ – He referred to his construct abilities, and started scanning Reg's retinas, then his face, and everything else. He kept going with no intention of falling in line, despite Reg's vocal protests. Then he started asking if different things were „real or not“. It was like a polygraph test and Reg was the subject. There was no point to this other than Roland's amusement.As they struggled, the enigmatic smile returnted to Roland's face. Reg's brain activity entered his visual range. He watched the anatomy of this moment- the colors of Reg's feelings and anxiety, rippling across his silhouette. He was endeared to this lightshow of chemical symbols. The flickering of his nervous system, like little lights in the dark. As he saved the data, his eyes continued to glide over Reg. How can synapses firing be cute? well, you'd have to ask him. The pulse under his thumb was a fine „price“ for this wisp of a life acting so boldly in front of him.--The upside of this is that he knows how Reg ticks now. But what about his M.I.N.D? The connection between a construct and a human was a special thing and he always wondered what it would feel like. He never experienced it because he was abandoned as a construct test subject before he had a chance to try. Reg was so close, but nothing changes the fact that his M.I.N.D has already been irreversibly damaged. He could pick around his thoughts if he wanted to, but that would expose him to the punishing again. Since Reg’s mind has no guardrails for these connections, it could potentially kill him. And even if his M.I.N.D. wasn’t tainted, it’s a question if he could handle connecting to an Ascendant at all. People like Philippa (the Gray Raven commandant) are very far and few...A part of him also felt self-conscious about what he might hear inside Reg’s mind-What if he was only putting up with him out of fear? Even with access to constant surveillance (and knowing him for over a year, albeit one-sided), Roland was still afraid of being "fooled". On the other hand, he was starting to take Reg more seriously, and wanted to keep his trust. He wouldn’t go ‘in there’ unless invited. Though occasionally he could hear a stray thought from Reg by accident, simply because Reg’s corrupted mind beacon (an implanted chip) sometimes broadcasted snippets of his thoughts to constructs who could receive it.Was this too much? He asked Reg. „Forget it. I'll headbutt you if you try something like this again“. He pushed the Ascendant away. Roland started acting more unbound, gripping for Reg's hand more often like it was going to disappear. They can't be done yet. He made more anxious jokes. When he got hurt and Reg hurried to check on him, asking if he's fine, he'd say stuff like „Only your love can fix me! Oh, my hero!“ while dramatically throwing himself over, and Reg just didn't know how to deal with it.---However, being unable to look into his M.I.N.D. was not an obstacle for long because Roland simply found another way. He reverted to a more traditional method. He started keeping records of their conversations so he could analyze them. Once he knows his faces and how he reacts to different things, it will be just as easy as reading his mind. Now, whenever Reg thinks or feels something he doesn’t want to share, Roland can just use his usual approach (This part comes easy to him). He can apply subtle pressure like maintaining intense eye contact, or just refuse to cooperate until Reg gives in. "Hey, Roland do you know how to access this control panel?" (Roland crosses his arms behind his head, sitting back with a smile and no interest in helping) "Hmm. I don't know anything, partner :)".Roland also found additional uses for keeping records of Reg. He can “play it back” whenever he wants to give Regill an “I told you so”. He can also prove him wrong, remind him of something… and definitely hear his voice when he is not there. At first, Regill’s reaction was “that’s so creepy!” but later, he started asking for his help: “Roland, play me the shopping list I said before” - "Roger that".He also began to tease him in a way where he'd conviniently make him say or do something embarrassing. Then he'd say ''recording mode on'' and continue to stare at him unblinkingly with his heterochromia eyes. Most of it was a joke. But the recording of his Reg's smile, directed only at him, became permanently stored in his M.I.N.D.
--Eventually Reg couldn't keep up with him and started getting worse at his job. He was dedicating too much of his time to appeasing Roland and keeping him out of trouble. Roland was a construct with about 40 years worth of missing connections to make up for, while Reg was just an ordinary guy with a 9-5 job. It wasn't very fair. But the Ascendant promised to tone it down.He sat on the couch next to Reg while the latter was working on his report, and pretended to fall asleep. He was using the opportunity to relax by leaning on him in complete silence. Instead of saying anything, he listened to Reg breathe. Constructs don’t really depend on that, so he liked being able to hear it. Since the atmosphere was peaceful, it made Reg finally drop his report.He fell asleep and his head drooped on Roland's. (Sigh) “You are so careless… How can I take you seriously when you’re like that?” The Ascendant gently poked his chest, reprimanding him for lowering his guard. And then he took his hand, gently playing with his soft fingers: “...Are you really that dangerous?” (He’s referring to humanity in general). Then Reg shifts a little, making Roland jump: “Ah, you are snoring of course, haha. I knew that.” Then he relaxed again, this time huddling even closer. “I’m going to tell you a little story…. Just a bit more quietly.” Then he started whispering the “Story of his Life”, the one that he despised the most.He told the story of a "little puppet" whose dream never came true, and a sudden disaster that revealed that nothing the puppet desired had ever existed. With Reg soundly asleep, he didn’t feel like he had to shield his expression anymore. Roland resumed to the point where he was surrounded by other dying dolls when vivid memories began to creep into his artificial muscles and skin, making him feel like he was in that damned park again. Ever since then, he was afraid of falling where no one else will catch him. But then he was suddenly hugged by Reg who moved around in his sleep. The familiar touch set him aflame with a nostalgia for their first encounter, when he was saved without being asked anything in return.He laughed quietly, whispering "Pffft... oh fine" with his face awkwardly squished into Reg's neck and allowed himself to be held.In the morning, he slipped away before Reg could tell that anything happened. Then he spent some time alone gazing at Babylonia's fake sky with much weighing on his mind. When someone speaks with a Jester's privilege, it's impossible to know what is true and what is not. And when something is a secret, the world can’t destroy it. Maybe this companionship too, would be safe if he could keep it hidden.--For some time, Roland has been relaxed and “himself” around Reg. He felt less of a need to mock himself.But this moment of peace disturbed him. It felt like an intermission for something ominous.That is when he had a sudden realization. How does one sound when they are honest? How does –he- sound when he is honest? What kinds of words does he use, are they same as when he is ‘acting’? Roland stopped, and his calm feelings slowly turned into a knot in his stomach again. He couldn’t even figure out when he’s pretending, fawning, or just being himself anymore. He would like to be honest with Reg- he’s started to appreciate him that much.But there was no clear indicator when ‘honesty’ was happening. He can't recognize it himself, and in the end it was just as confusing as when he lies. A writer named Hawthorne once said that no one can wear one face to himself and a myriad to others without finally getting bewildered to which one is true. It wasn't going to be different for Roland. He slid into a familiar feeling of helplessnes and disgust. Even though nothing bad happened yet, he felt the overwhelming dominance of the “Jester”. He called himself Roland the fool again, because that was the one that is always mistaken. Always outwitted and laughed at, the one always trapped in a passage between light and dark.Of course he had problems believing his own thoughts were genuine, when he was raised in a glass prison with nothing for company but false promises and generative AI (Literally). And now that he’s been made a construct, even his body parts can be sourced back to different factories. A barcode under his eye tells him that he’s “a thing” every time he sees his reflection. Even the privacy of his thoughts and memories is questionable- considering the M.I.N.D. experiments that the World Government consistently fails to stop. The horrific treatment of 'Lloyd' was just one of countless examples. It’s no surprise that Roland keeps running on emotional survival mode.At this point he switched from doubting himself to doubting the human he liked. Humans are crafty, and he must have had some way of keeping the truth hidden right under his nose. It’s not him who is the problem, but Reg. He was watching him for so long it's no wonder he grew attached. All this time, he thought he had him in his clutches when it was actually the other way instead. He was too relaxed. The kindness he experienced was just a noose slowly tightening around his neck and now he was beginning to realize it. Reg must have been a distraction for him, while the Gray Raven commandant (Philippa) did what she wanted. Bitterness and disbelief flooded his M.I.N.D. as he imagined a fantastic betrayal. He wasn’t being ‘real’ he was being mistaken. His body shook with a bitter laugh.There was suddenly a caustic lack of air in his lungs. What if he missed some important clue? Something inside of him just snapped. Quickly! it’s going to happen again, and it’s all going to be his fault. He rushed to check if Luna was okay (she and Lamia were quite surprised to see him so bewildered). The last time she was around humans, he had to fly to the Moon to save her.But everything was agonizingly "fine", the night in Babylonia was dull and the quietness of it all was suffocating. “Haha!” Roland laughed at himself and slid down the corner of some building. His body hurt from the anticipation of grief, and he hated that he was unable to hold himself together. Roland is the type of person who makes a friend in their head- then he makes an entire storyline about how this friend is the best thing in the world because he’s not ‘real’ so he can’t betray him, and THEN he imagines this friend betray him in that story too. This constant killing of himself when something new happens has been making him insane. Crouched with his hands over his head to block out the world, he whispered to himself: “God, aren’t you tired from constantly starting over?”--He seemed to constantly ignore the fact that Reg was actually being happy. He kept imagining a horrible scenario that hasn’t happened yet, so he’d have a reason to feel bad because being ‘happy’ was just not normal for him. It was a spring-like reaction to feeling joy. Nothing good can be won through misery, and yet, he couldn’t let the comfort of his time with Reg to settle in his heart.In the meantime, Reg is oblivious to how chaotic it was beneath Roland’s grinning façade. He had no idea that he and Roland were already “gone past the point” of being friends, then lovers- and that they were “currently breaking up”. He could just wait for him to return after vanishing without a heads-up. Around this time, the diplomatic exchange between Luna and the Gray Raven was at its close, and it was time for the Ascendants to head back to Earth.
Outsiders
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's and the canon characters are OOC (canon divergent)!
The two of them didn’t communicate at all. Roland didn’t even say goodbye- Reg heard it through Philippa instead. Why didn’t he come? He felt a cold sting in his heart, thinking: “Oh. I guess that’s how much I meant to him…” When going back to his dorm, he was dragging his feet as slowly as possible, in hope that Roland’s face would suddenly appear, cheering "hola amigo!" like usual.But on the last day of Ascendants in Babylonia, he did receive a mini (nui shaped) Roland toy in a package. It was a strange and precious thing. When he took it into his hands, he felt as if he was entrusted with something fragile. Roland didn’t want to see him directly, but still wanted to leave Reg with something. A part of him wondered if he would break the doll or throw it away in disappointment. As he went back down with his Ascendant family, Roland’s gaze at Babylonia remained as complicated as on the day when he was coming up here. It was still something “out of reach”.--Roland felt bad because he knew he’d eventually have to leave.A part of him still feared that Reg would sell him out, and he wondered if they’d meet as enemies the next time they see each other. He even panicked and blocked his number on his phone, Even though he didn’t expect Reg to call. He was afraid of how hearing his voice would affect him. Despite that he was a construct, he felt like acid was flaring up in his stomach again.Reg also tried to go on as if nothing changed, but he couldn't understand why he suddenly felt so bad and melancholic. Now that Roland was no longer here, he kept wandering around aimlessly and staring at the artificial sky without saying a word to anyone.Going to sleep at night, he kept thinking what other kinds of mischief he could have experienced if Roland was still there. How he’d tease him, talk too much or be totally untenable. The silence and the negative space he used to inhabit was sheer and jarring. Reg's M.I.N.D. was too alive, and he constantly tossed around in bed. All the positive progress seemed to be undone. He took the nui-sized plush and pressed it close to his heart. It made all the anxious thoughts go away, making it easier to slowly sink into sleep (He'd continue to do this in Roland’s absence). Unfortunately, it seems he has completely fallen for the Ascendant. He hopes that whatever happens in the future, Roland is the one to survive. Quietly, he whispered his "wish" into the toy, like he was casting a spell. This is one thought that he hopes no one hears.--Humming some Golden Age song, Roland arrived home with Lamia and Luna, where they were greeted by Alpha and Ember. It was sobering to be back on familiar ground, and everything fell back into being normal. His thoughts finally started to calm down.Luna left with her sister to chat privately, and Lamia spread all over the couch, leaving Roland alone with all the travelling bags. Seeing that it was just the two of them, Ember approached him. She seemed really eager to ask if he’d seen her "commandant", but he just wanted the conversation to be over as quickly as possible so he can go back to unpacking things. He didn’t want to think or talk about Reg -at all-. Instead of giving her a full answer, he just quickly recited a few points and reminded her that Reg was her ‘former’ commandant again. It left her with the impression that he had a really bad time up there.As he finished unpacking Luna’s things, he went over to his own suitcase. It was a small thing and he already knew what was in there. Rather than unpack it normally, he turned it upside down and let everything fall out. The contents crashed out with a loud noise, while he stood with his face void of emotion. Ember and Lamia tilted their heads to see what the hell was that noise about. Noticing their curiosity, he told them off: “Eavesdropping is a very bad habit, my ladies. Can’t I have a moment to myself here?”When the two curious heads disappeared from the corner, Roland looked down at his feet. It was just a bunch of ordinary objects. Back then he jokingly took a few things from Reg because he wanted him to freak out when he found out they were missing. There was even one 'foot' from a construct corpse that Reg was working on. He sighed. He picked up Reg's music box and sat on a stool, blankly staring forward. As if stealing back what you gave could somehow rewind time.When did it happen? When did he catch this disease? One that takes no prisoners, and makes people stand in front of oncoming trains. Was it when he pretended they were friends? Or when he began to love watching him? When curiosity prevailed over duty? Roland kept repeatedly knocking on his head. “How troublesome, how troublesome”- he chuckled. Reg had already become a part of his life now. A little piece of the mosaic that makes up what he is. But Roland was also the fixer, the one who solves problems. He wasn't going to spend his life bitching and running in circles. It was all in there- he pointed his metallic finger to the temple of his head.He was about to delete all those recordings of Reg. He was concentrating on his Punishing to perform a targetted clean, but then he stopped.It takes him a LONG TIME to like somebody, because he has to ‘beat his shadow’ every time. And he’s not going to do that 32549375 times. It has to be good. And another reason why it’s such a huge thing to open up emotionally is because he hated feeling like he was on unsteady ground. But in a way, these last few weeks (no, more like a year and a half) were something that he worked on. He chose to proceed, and that was important. Instead of deleting his recordings, he laughed about it and rubbed the temples of his head. His face began to beam in a scary way, like a mad gambler loading a dice. This was something that he won. He will reframe it as his ‘prize’.Now that he has developed feelings for Reg, he will make him shoulder the responsibility of making him feel this way. He chuckled: „I love you, you stupid human. (He shakes his head) Oh how I pity you now. How will you ever pay me back?“. Roland tended to think that his companionship was a 'curse' on its own, so it naturally came as a consequence of spending too much time with him. Enduring his companionship was the „biggest burden“ he could bestow upon Reg.An honor.--
Shortly after, the Ascendants gathered around a dinner to celebrate the progress of their plan. They don’t experience feelings of hunger, and this was mainly Lamia’s idea because she wanted to do something nice as a gesture of her reverence for Luna after spending time together in Babylonia. She even made the effort to cook everything herself, though Roland made sure to check the end result. As they gathered around the table, they exchanged their experiences from the sky fortress.After everyone shared what they’ve been through, it was Roland’s turn to say his piece. But since he spent most of his free time around Reg, it would be the only thing he can talk about beside the Ascendant’s main mission. At first he was reluctant, because his M.I.N.D. was still packed with emotions he hasn’t fully metabolized. But he pushed through it because he didn’t want to ruin the mood in the room just because he felt bad.At first he shared every embarrassing thing he knew about Reg (Now the entire Ascendant group knows his every flop).But then he also started talking at length about what he and Reg saw and what they did together. His knowledge showed that he knew quite a lot about this human, as if they really were ‘construct and commandant’ for that brief period of time. Lamia was impressed, and almost felt a bit put on the spot for not having produced such a detailed analysis for Luna. Then Ember suddenly asked: “Did you remember to mention me even a single time?”Roland tapped his mechanical fingers against the table. She took his spotlight (He was going to fulfil her request, he just happened to forget while he was there) and he didn’t like her tone. She continued: “And when will we see him together?”- Alpha snorted and said: “You will never see him”. The situation got a bit quiet as Roland and Ember stared each other down like two cowboys in a duel, but they soon resumed chatting normally.--
In this lively exchange, Luna picked up on how Roland talked about this person. There were subtle new differences in his voice and gestures. It was like seeing a closed-up kid liven up when they finally get to share their favorite thing. The knight she knew for years had a warmth she hadn’t seen before. Despite everything so far, when she looked at the people seated around her it seemed like the world didn't end at all (Lamia's red face when she can't adjust or Roland bickering with Ember like they're both children). After reuniting with her sister, there were some things she missed from the time before the Punishing. She has been focused on the weight of her role and the endless dangers that came with it for so long, that she overlooked little joys that still somehow survived the horrors of this world.For a while now, the Ascendants were not just her servants anymore. After getting out of so many ordeals together, they became a new sort of family. Each of their lives was like a thread woven with her own. Luna knows they rely on her for leadership, but that didn't matter as much. She didn't want to just be their leader, she was eager to let them search for their own happiness. Perhaps they will bring some of it home.Since all of them were connected to her by some degree (By the merit of sharing her power), she could literally tell how they felt.Roland was also her friend for a long time, they knew each other since the outbreak began. That's why she did not want him to become a slave to unrealized feelings and desires. If this human could help him love himself, then she'll be more than happy to help him try. Luna decided that the next time she works with Philippa (the Gray Raven) again, she'd try to make sure he has enough time to visit them regardless of the outcome. Sometime later, Alpha told Roland that Reg was on Earth again. He pretended not to care, though she instantly caught on that he did. As soon as her back was turned, he was going off somewhere ‘to stretch his legs’.Watching this somewhere from the side, Lamia asked her: “Luna, I want a human too.” – The princess responded: “So? Go get one. I said you can get one, not that I would ‘give one’ to you. If you have so much free time, then you can finish the rest of the mission, since Roland is too busy to finish yours. Think I don’t know?”- she shot her with a sudden cold glance.Realizing she was busted, Lamia fled to do her job more energized than ever.
Luna smirked while watching her dart away in panic.--Roland reluctantly approached the temporary camp that Alpha told him about, and noticed his pace was a little faster than usual. He usually associated the feeling of 'anticipation' with disaster, so he had to focus his thoughts on something else.He knew his favourite human would be in the 'covered storage' at this time, because he was looking at him from afar. But then Reg headed deeper into the camp. Drops of sweat appeared on his artificial skin and he muttered “Alright that’s more difficult” before heading further. He ended up crawling through vents just to see him. They met in the common area, which was now luckily empty. Their meeting was a bit tense at the start. Reg had the expression he wears when there is a lot going on. He wanted to say something but he gave up.Considering how they parted, Roland was also tense and on the verge of breaking into his M.I.N.D. just to read his thoughts himself.Since the situation was uncomfortable, he made an awkward joke: “H-hey. We are infiltrating your camp :D You wanna help? If you’re not busy... Haha.” Stuck in that vent, he looked like a helpless, stretched out frog above him. Reg crossed his arms and shot back: “I will scream for help” – “Ahem... Please don’t. I’m not here on a mission, it was just a joke. It’s hot in here.” (He was keeping his Punishing levels low to avoid drawing attention from the camp, but it made the heat unbearable). Reg helped get him down, and then checked if he was okay. The conversation that followed was awkward, but it was clear they were still happy to see each other.Wanting to let everything pour out, Roland admitted why he was avoiding him and how he even expected Reg to betray him (His proximity to the Purifying Force was quite dangerous after all). „I still wanted to meet you after all this time. If it's a knife you have prepared for me, I will gladly accept it“- Roland sincerely placed a hand on his chest. Then Reg punched him. He was wearing his exoskeleton, so it hurt quite a bit. Roland's expression was stunned.“Good. Now you have a reason to feel sad, because I punched you and –it- hurts (Reg was visibly upset). You do know that thinking like that basically means you're calling everyone else who isn't 'you' a liar? That isn't who I am. It’s not fair. After having so much fun together, you say “none of it matters”, and when you need to remember it, you just don’t. It’s painful to think that only the bad things are the ones people remember about you.”His heart pounded a lot. Reg was angry because everyone in Babylonia kept seeing him in a bad light already, aside from the Gray Raven and a handful of others. He was always an "outsider", and now even an Ascendant sees him as a bad guy. This really hurt especially since the chemistry they had was very real. Of all things, he really didn't want to be Roland's 'villain'.--Roland paused for a bit when he realized that he never considered Reg’s feelings, even though he’s been following him all this time. Only now he started to see how pitiful the human before him really looked like. He felt bad for not taking notice of his problems sooner. He was so used to pushing himself over the breaking point that he often forgot others couldn’t (Or rather, he wasn't used to thinking about others). His expression softened, but he wasn’t sure what to do except return something he had stolen...After giving Reg the music box, he asked: “Did you get the doll?” - “You mean the nui?” Reg recalled the Roland-shaped plushie. “I’ve been holding onto him while you were gone. Someone had to.” He crossed his arms and tilted his head at Roland with a curious half-smile. Roland said: “Ahem, it was a trade” – “Uh-huh. You know when you trade something without the other person knowing it’s called stealing, right?” – “So… you don’t want it, then?” – “I’ll be keeping both as your punishment. But thank you for telling me your thoughts. It's not like I can read your mind”. There was a pang of guilt in Reg's smile.Roland stepped forward: “No, you won’t have to. And you don’t have to say thanks either.” he spoke with an unusually serious tone. “You know…. My activation date is coming up soon” (He made it up in a hurry so they could meet again) “You can thank me then. I’m curious how you’ll surprise me.” As he turned to go, he paused one more time: “Oh— and by the way, I’ve got three birthdays now. One for when I was born, one for my first frame, and one for my latest.” He knocked on his chestplate. “My expectations are high. I’m going to be picky, so don’t disappoint me.” He winked at Reg and left outside, letting sunshine stream in where he stood.--When he came back to the Ascendants hideout, Roland was excited. He totally forgot to tell Ember about her former commandant again (But he decided he’d just do it next time). When she asked if anything interesting happened, he just said “Nope” with zero hesitation and stretched out on the couch next to her. Then he casually threw his arm around her, and grabbed a handful of some snacks she was eating, thinking:„What fun, haha. What should I do next time, I wonder?“The dates of Roland’s birthdays were actually random, because he doesn’t really remember them. But he wondered if Regill would. To his surprise, a birthday present made its way on the first date just as he told. It found its way to him through Alpha and Philippa. It was a modest box of candies, but he savored every one. He even thought about making them permanent somehow. He laughed: “Haha, you humans are so funny”. The lies he told became a part of his reality again. Guess he’ll have to remember these so-called ‘birthdays’ now.After the activation day gifts, more asks for conversation followed. They kept communicating through a special channel that Roland set up just for them. Their messages kept coming in the shape of baits, trades and challenges. They were both looking forward to them, and each puzzle ended with something like “look forward to the next one!”. They were also leaving subtle hints where the goal was to figure out what the other person meant (Sometimes they would involve music, like leaving hints with rythms of their favorite shows). Sometimes they’d communicate through pipes, or locked doors. Sometimes the notes they leave were completely ordinary questions like “Dear Stranger, how is your day?”It was fun sneaking behind people’s backs and treating these asks as 'little quests' to complete on the side of their actual missions. Only they knew what these games really meant, and Roland loved to play. Even when he sometimes wasn’t sure if Reg will manage to follow through, he always did. They felt like two actors, sneaking behind the stage to meet.This exchange made his heart pound with excitement. Even when he felt that these nice things were ‘wasted on him’, he reminds himself that he already claimed them as his ‘prize’.
Outsiders
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's and the canon characters are OOC (canon divergent)!
Roland was now more sure of what he wanted, and one of those things included doing something nice for Reg. Most things he does are ‘nice’, but this time it needed to be something different and special. He would have his chance soon, because it was almost Reg’s birthday (A date he marked in his M.I.N.D.).Roland was racking his brains trying to come up with ideas. He wasn’t sure if Reg would like a surprise or not. There was already enough risk involved with all of their little interactions, so he wanted his human to feel extra safe. A place with people maybe? Private but safe? That sounded good. But what to do? After some thinking Roland decided not to buy anything. Reg can get whatever he wants in Babylonia anyway.Making something would be the best, and Roland was excellent with handcrafts. He could make a toy of him. A little Reg nui with bones inside and its own exoskeleton frame, so he can move it around? He was also thinking of making him an album with all the screenshots he took of areas while roaming all these years. Maybe too depressing but still, some of those pictures turned out really nice. He knows Reg would appreciate seeing different places. He also thought about baking (He was great with desserts). A pie? One of those extremely sweet, candy-on-top sort of pies. Or is that too much?Finally he thought about what’s important to Reg, and decided to tell him about Ember- and his role in her Ascension.--The greater privacy of conservation areas helped him reach Reg more easily. He snuck into his tent early at dawn where he found him asleep. If Reg's reputation wasn't ruined by everything that happened with Ember (and why he's mostly alone), Roland wouldn't be able to approach him at all. Unlike Philippa, he wasn’t some “hero” that constantly had stage lights on him, with thousands of eyes peering at his every move. Even Hassen’s efforts to keep him low-key, as well as Babylonia’s lack of regard for his life made it all easier for the Ascendant. It may sound strange, but it made Roland happy.He gently moved strands of Reg’s hair so he could better watch him sleep. He wondered what kind of dreams was he having, and if he should even wake him. Instead of teasing him like he wanted to, Roland took his face until his moist breath could almost touch his lips. A warm smile like candlelight spread across his face. He whispered him a question “Am I that easy to read? or am I just feeling exactly what you want me to, hmm?” - then pressed his lips against Reg’s in a way that would not make him wake.The redhead winced from a slight tingle of the virus, and Roland moved away for some space. Then he cleared his throat with an “Ahem-“ and started speaking normally, like nothing ever happened. “Oh my, commandant! Well aren’t you careless? If you keep relaxing like this, something really dangerous might wake you next time-!“ Reg jumped out of bed and then saw Roland’s grinning face from up close.“Holaaaa!” – He greeted him cheerfully.Reg groaned and threw himself back into bed, and Roland moved to an inch of his face to deliver his gift.It was a beautifully handcrafted flower made out of resin where each petal was different.--These petals represented different places which Roland visited during the time they spent apart. Then he laid comfortably next to him, and started explaining the meaning behind each one. The morning light almost made the artificial flower look alive while he traced his fingers along its colourful edges. Reg could tell how much care he put into each petal. The gift was perfect, it was delicate and full of stories. It actually reminded him of the person nestling in his arms.Now these frozen memories were up to him to watch over. Other than stories, it seemed Roland just kept finding more things for Reg to keep safe.They spent the early birthday morning whispering between each other, talking about their adventures and new experiences. Roland’s head rested comfortably between Reg’s chin and collarbone while the latter leaned on him. He was also spreading his arms while weaving his tales, while Reg patted his hair. They were like two little birds huddling closer for warmth. It turns out the Ascendant really liked to cuddle. “Now who’s too comfortable?” Reg smirked, looking at his face from above.He couldn’t help but notice that Roland’s expression was different somehow. Reg put his forehead against the Ascendant’s hair. He can’t look into his mind to check, but it doesn’t matter. Then Roland suddenly asked: “What is so interesting about me that you keep coming back?” - “What isn't?”. Reg shot it out like a canon. Then he procedeed to list everything he liked. His tenacity, his humor, his quirks, how he remembers promises, how kind he can be and how much he has grown despite the life he had... coming up with these things was as easy as drawing breath. He could list 20 more things before he even reached the part about his looks. He was so good at identifying his good traits, some of which the Ascendant didn't even know he had. It made him laugh out loud. God knows how long it has been since he felt this way.“Pfffttt, forget that I even asked. This is too good, too good hahaha!”- he covered his face with the back of his palm. Reg wanted to see him, so he lowered his hand gently, revealing Roland’s true expression. The Ascendant’s smile was awkward and sweet. It was a face that he was only discovering in fragments during his stay in Babylonia. A face that he already fell in love with.He kissed him, and it burned him a little (Even when low, the punishing still stung). But then Roland kissed him back, and they continued, little by little, one second at a time.
Like fiery butterflies.--Roland never looked more precious.The privacy of this cozy little room made it feel like this moment would never repeat. Fearing his expression will vanish soon, Reg took his face into his hands. Roland blushed, and the surge of his punishing-infested vital fluid started stinging Reg’s palms. It was like holding a nettle with his bare hands, but he didn’t care at all. That’s when he realized he never engaged Roland from this up close. He wasn’t even sure if the heat welling up within him came from exposure to the virus or his own excitement anymore.He kissed him again. The Ascendant chuckled “Well, that’s not bad as a thank you amigo ;) ” and then kissed his aching palms. “...Does this hurt?”- he asked, and then took one of his hands and guided it to his chest “Why don’t you rest a little here”. Reg tried to move his hand, but Roland kept it firmly in place. He grinned at him and his face became all red. Roland assured him: “Don’t worry, I won’t let anything bad happen to you” and Reg blurted out laughing: “Pffft... No way you said that with a straight face. Are we stuck in some kind of passion-fueled romantic story?”. They both cackled like immature idiots, trying not to be too loud.And yet, the anticipation they endured and the anxieties they swallowed down kept bringing them closer and closer. All the words that were yet to be said were boiling inside. The things they were yet to see, and the fights they were yet to have acted like kindling inside their hearts. These little embers of a passionate relationship urged Roland to make a move on his only friend. His teammate, his favorite character. He wanted to engulf him and leave nothing but ashes behind.Moved by these feelings, Roland wanted to say: “Thank you for sticking out with me, I appreciate your companionship”.But instead, he found his hands moving ahead of his words, moving under Reg’s clothes and freeing him of his shirt. As he lost more of his clothes, Reg retreated back into his bed, reaching for a serum and jabbing it into his thigh (Roland never saw him stab himself with a serum with such a determination as he did today). He followed into his bed, embracing him and leaving kiss after kiss upon his bare chest. Each of his kisses left a vague trace of punishing on Reg’s skin. It was like leaving a signature, an indellible statement saying “I was here- and here, and here-”. At some point Roland leaned back, observing it like it was a work of art. Every exchange of passion suspended just for a while longer on his partner’s body.Then he grabbed Reg by the thighs, pulling him onto his legs until he was seated comfortably. Reg wouldn’t have to say anything- his corrupted M.I.N.D. beacon was already giving away his consent. Realizing that something 'signifficant' was about to happen, Roland had to check something before this could go anywhere. Something that he didn’t bother with in a long time. He put a finger to Reg’s lips, and told him to wait. Then he suddenly got up and scurried off behind a divider. This left him totally confused. He assumed Roland needed to gather his bearings.--He wasn’t completely wrong. Now was probably bad timing, but Roland wasn’t sure if he actually “had anything” down there.His first frame was like the Lucia:Dawn one. There was nothing between his legs but a smooth surface and ball joints for legs. He did have a "frame change" since then, but he never bothered to look if there was any difference. He was never a very sexual person to begin with, it was mostly just him being immature or bad with jokes. And because of the “make” of his body, his drive was almost nonexistent so he still didn’t care much about it. Since Ishmael remade his frame, a part of him was also put off by the idea that someone else decided what his body should look like. But now he really needed whatever was down there to do its job. He didn’t want his moment with Reg to go to waste, so he held his breath and faced it-Roland: “Haha…ha... That's... fantastic, really..."Reg asked if everything was okay, to which Roland hastily responded “Pfft, haha its no problem, no problem at all amigo!” then quietly sneered “Ah, she really did me over…” through his teeth. Ishmael literally gave him a girl’s parts, and she never told him a thing. Then Roland had a brief flashback of their last meeting in his M.I.N.D.Ishmael: “So, tell me Roland. Is there anything specific you’d like to have? It can be anything. It’s your wish now, after all.” (She leaned towards him in a conspiratory way, with a finger over her lips) "Anything at all?" - Roland: “Whatever.” He just stood there with his arms crossed and back turned to her, wanting her help but also to interact with her as little as possible. He may have been a bit rude… Roland: “Yes, yes I hear you. Now, does this ‘free’ frame exist, or do you just like talking?”. And then he distinctly remembered the pink haired woman's face looking -slightly annoyed- before commiting her powers to his transformation. As he put two and two together, the grim realization came to his M.I.N.D. No wonder it was so easy to perform those acrobatic splits and kicks with no trouble at all.--He appeared from behind the divider looking like a soldier who had deserted. His face had ‘defeat’ written all over it, and he was thinking how to apologize to Reg for this ‘terrible letdown’. Reg looked at him and his pants with curiosity. Before he managed to come up with some excuse, Reg pulled his pants down. When he saw the situation, he burst into laughter. Roland wanted to eat a wall right there and now. Or explode into confetti, like a proper clown.But then Reg embraced him, and then whispered that they were the same. Confused, hugged and with his pants down, Roland stopped talking for the first time in his life. He was still processing everything that just happened.Reg had much-more experience with this sort of thing (Actually, he even felt a new kinship with Roland). Seeing his distress, he took his time and helped guide him, putting his nimble human fingers to use once more. With some trial and error, they delighted in one another and rested afterwards. Roland was nearly depleted (Keeping his punishing levels low was a boss fight on its own), but still enjoyed holding Reg’s hand while resting by his side. For him, this was more precious than the act of intimacy itself. Reg joked: “Probably shouldn’t treat life-saving serums like condoms anymore” – “Definitely not” Roland concurred. They continued to relax for as long as the morning could afford them. He knew that Reg’s interest in him was sincere. He just couldn’t believe that he was taking notes from a human. He chuckled while the morning light slowly reached their bed.He felt warmth tickling his foot. This was real.
Outsiders
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's and the canon characters are OOC (canon divergent)!
hhhhhhh.......
Outsiders
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's and the canon characters are OOC (canon divergent)!
Roland and Reg won’t have to sneak around forever. These two are able to openly cooperate again once Luna and Philippa joined forces. The Gray Raven had a falling out with Babylonia (something about Kurono and cloning) and sought refuge with the Ascendant princess once more.This meant they could keep meeting under the same banner. They could enact the roles of “commandant and construct” just like old times. In a way, they mirrored Luna and the Gray Raven who fought much tougher battles. Roland even hinted at a fun idea, saying: “A knight usually has a squire. You seem to like silly ideas, so would you like to try this one?” Reg liked it, so he agreed. At this point, he was already getting used to hoarding Roland's stuff. He wouldn’t mind being his ‘squire’. Loyal, trailing close behind, almost one with him. They could face the path ahead together.Reg would help him in any way he knew. He’d make sure his weapons were repaired and upgraded, and that they never ran out of ammo. He was enhancing his memories, and frowned at every new scratch on his frame. He was always there to support him. The "knight" he serves would never face danger alone. In a way, it was a lot like how a regular commandant would equip their construct, though their cooperation was on a much more equal ground.--Roland also wanted to uplift his status to that of an ‘Ascendant’, but Reg was still limited by his humanity. He wanted him to be stronger (Better capable of protecting himself) and more independent, so he could rely on him more. At this point, the battles they could take were still very limited. Roland also wanted to know what kinds of choices would Reg make with his new freedom. Even before all this, he liked giving options to others and seeing what they do with them. A part of him was also curious what he’d look like. Roland always thought that the Ascendant’s appearance was superior to any human design. He recalled a time when he modified Tifa. If it came from "his gift”, he was sure that Reg’s frame would look beautiful. After all, he was proud of what Ember came to be.It would also be kind of funny if both commandant and former construct were ‘turned’ by the same Ascendant.They also continued to speak more openly. Roland wanted to be comfortable with who he is, and he wanted to fit in with Reg without hiding what he can and can’t do. Obviously he tried not to freak him out (Unless he’s joking), but now that he’s content he doesn’t care about pretending anymore. He trusted that Reg won’t choose to abandon him.He was thankful to Luna for that as well.“You can’t outfox a fox” - Roland already noticed a long time ago that his missions kept taking him close to Reg’s camp, and that he somehow kept getting time off whenever this human was on Earth. Luna was just glad to see him cheerfully talk to someone who was outside of their circle, and who also happened to be an ‘outcast’ like himself. It lifted some of the weight from his shoulders, easing the self doubt that always shadows him. She felt at ease knowing that this happiness stemmed from a choice that he made on his own.Despite her seemingly strict personality, she definitely had a kindness for her Ascendants. Little winds in their paths didn’t matter much in the grand scheme. They were always free to make their own choices. What mattered was that they all shared a common goal and a bond that helped them move forward.Roland felt relief that her plans involved a possible coexistence between the Ascendants and some humans. With Luna’s subtle approval (She started to like Reg thanks to the endless, funny stories that her knight shared and she kind of even looked forward to meeting him at this point), he was glad that he didn’t need to choose between letting go of this person and fulfilling his dream. Perhaps the key to ‘humans returning to Earth’ and ‘The nation of Ascendants’ was something in between. He wanted to keep Reg in his life as much as possible. Whenever he was in danger, the Ascendant would protect him, saying that he now has ‘a part’ in the world that Luna will make.--Working on Earth together also meant more opportunities for intimacy. Roland didn’t really need it (As his drive stayed low), but he liked seeing Reg happy. The act of lovemaking was just something he enjoyed on the way. He also loved watching Reg’s funny faces in bed. Sometimes he would sneak under his sheets to spend time by his side without waking him. Reg would wake up with red spots on his skin, just like the ones when the Ascendant first kissed him. Sometimes they would both pretend not to know the other was awake, just to cuddle quietly. It was their way of providing each other with comfort.At other times, Roland would entertain ‘spicy scenes’ in his head when he found a suitable place, thinking “what he’d do and how he would do it ♡” just to realize that Reg ‘caught’ one of his stray thoughts with his corrupted M.I.N.D. beacon. The human’s face would become as red as his hair, and then he’d try covering his expression, while Roland keeps pushing him and saying “Let me see! Let me see-”And since they were on Earth, it meant Roland could ‘steal him’ more often to go on a few-day long dates, without anyone asking too many questions. He was already coming up with a wealth of absurd stories to cover up for his disappearance. One time they visited an old, crumbling cinema to watch a movie. Roland was smacking a projector to make it work, while Reg sat among the rows of old seats like it was a premiere back when the world didn't lie in ruins. Then they hung out and watched old films Reg took from Babylonia, pretending like it's the real thing. They almost felt a bit 'elite' for being the only audience. And they didn't even pay for their tickets!--They found their own method of cooperation, and became much more effective. They were almost ‘A real team’ that could stand toe to toe with Babylonia's elites.Reg plans well and knows how to prioritize his survival, while Roland worked like a swiss knife. He was good at performing solo and keeping himself in check without the need of a ‘commandant’. And he could react well in most situations without someone telling him to do this or that. However, he did like to ask for orders simply to jest with Reg. His receiver kept beeping with Roland’s messages, updating totally pointless things (But Reg had to pick up every time in case it was something important). He’d notify him on weather changes (Which Reg could see himself) or ask questions that didn’t need answering. Reg: “What now?” - Roland: “I found a broken door, amigo! :D” / Roland: “Look partner! 3’o clock. It’s a cloud in the shape of a cat!”. At other times he would just call him and then talk to himself in the mic. Sometimes he’d send emojis instead of sentences during a mission, making Reg figure out what kind of story he’s trying to tell.He’d also tease Reg when he’s giving out orders. He would try to sound cool by saying stuff like ‘Show off” or “Show them how to dance!”, and then Roland would reprimand him for stealing quotes from a show. Reg would facepalm and correct himself saying something more normal like “Ahem, okay, just get it done…” - Roland: “Get it done, what, partner?” Reg: (Rolling his eyes) “...Please…” - and then Roland would swing off into the fray, laying waste to their mutual enemies.Roland also really loved being asked for advice.He loved dissecting Reg’s nonsense. When he came to his knight with a problem, he would help him address it piece by piece. The conversation wouldn’t be over until he managed to knock some sense into him. The Ascendant’s stinging wit was always helpful. Likewise, Reg wouldn’t shy from confronting Roland’s nonsense. Being shown trust and asked for help was also useful for Roland’s own resilience when dealing with personal troubles.
--Sometimes when they rested, Roland asked him if he could be fooled into thinking that he was “a good construct”. Reg would look at him and say that he only knew the “Roland” he showed him, and that one was good to him. Even though Roland hasn’t explicitly told him about what happened in the Mandhasti (Or Pulia) park yet, Reg knew it was something that still made him feel miserable. This is why he tried not to take missions that reinforced Roland's negative view of himself. Reg truly believed that he should love himself more, and he wanted to see him grow.Through their interactions, they realized they shared another thing. Their burnout. Reg was saved from the Nighter only because the babylonians thought he was useful, (Just to end up shoveling corpses with a ruined M.I.N.D.) And Roland was due to be a famous actor with a bright future ahead of him... only for that future to be revealed as as a lie. But when they worked together, they were a bit more than what they were on their own. He saw Regill as real and when Regill interacted with him, he felt real too. Weaving a tale of “knights and squires” helped them cope with pains that still lingered in their hearts.Changing some of his deeply rooted views was difficult because Roland always had a hard time expressing and identifying his own true feelings. Before reaching the surface, they had to go through an entire internal process. That already made it hard for the person who loves him to see if their love was doing anything. But Reg never rushed him anyway. And he wasn’t delaying his gratification either, he was simply happy where he was while staying true to himself.He knew that there was only so much he could do as a human. But he already felt glad that Roland was willing to express his vulnerability to begin with. Showing him “what he sees” was the least he could do, and it’s what he’ll keep trying to accomplish as long as they are together. Roland wondered if he could do the same. He wanted to step into Reg’s shoes and understand what is it that he keeps seeing that makes him believe in him with such confidence.It was the shape “he” took in Reg’s eyes.--When they were together, they could also “Balance the load of being a clown”. Since Reg didn’t mind looking silly or making mistakes, it evened out with Roland’s tendency to talk himself down. They both liked their little performances, and one could be serious while the other is messing around. Reg was one of the people who became themselves when they ‘put the mask on’, while Roland was the opposite, fearing he’d lose himself in it. It became easier for the Ascendant to tolerate those traits in himself after first liking them in someone else. Whenever he went too deep, Reg was waiting at the shore with an outstretched hand, even without a M.I.N.D. beacon to light his way.While getting more comfortable around the idea of ‘liking himself’, he interrogated what ‘good’ meant to him. For starters, it had feel “not afraid”. At times, he was envious of Reg’s state of calm. But this was already different from the past. The little ‘dolls’ will have a story unlike the one in Mandhasti park. It was a little like correcting a bad ending. This time, Roland was in charge. He could choose."Once upon a time, in a kingdom far away, the story began with a knight and his squire,
with an important task to make the princess’s wish come true…"︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
Notes:
- The Gray Raven commandant's name is Philippa Anheier. She was also brought into the taskforce by Hassen. But unlike Reg (who was taken in as a child), Philippa was acquired from a prison, to which she owes her ruthless and daring personality. She is 183 cm tall and wears high heels and a military uniform for most of the time.
- She frequently tests how much she can push Roland around through Reg.
- There is more room for angst and character development, but this story was always supposed to be short.
- Yes, I know about Roland's fate in the latest chapter ;__; their story will likely resume when he gets a new frame!
- This is mostly a fluff/comfort story because I love this character ♡
- Thanks for reading!
