Zaralla1 OC's and headcanons ✧. ┊
Hi! Welcome! I'm Zara and this is where I keep my fan-OC, OOC and OC profiles, as well as their art and stories! Thanks for dropping by!
About
Hi there! I go by Zaralla1 in online spaces, but you can also call me Vanja. I draw whenever it's possible, and I mostly do it for my own fun. I love anything Soulsborne related, and I love characters with sharp teeth! My gallery includes mostly OC & multifandom work, and lately I've been a lot into gachas which reflects on my current OC's & fan-OC's. Right now I'm trying to focus on a large webcomic project featuring my characters, but they will be featured on a different website.
*OC's/fan OC’s are written so they can pair up with my favorite characters. Sometimes they borrow elements from the universe they are in so they can feel more believable. Canon characters are “ocified”, which is indicated by their slightly different design to help distinguish them from canon representation (To help against possible confusion!)
OC BoundariesDo's ✔️
| Artworks are welcome! as long as no genAI is used anywhere in the process! | Kinning is okay! | It's okay to draw your OC's together with mine! Just make sure its platonic! |
|---|---|---|
| Writing fanfics/AU/stories is okay if you ask me permission! | Headcanons are okay! | Doubles are okay! I don't mind interacting with them! |
Dont's ❌
| Do not use my characters in roleplays! | Do not use my characters on genAI sites (chatbot AI's, etc.) | No shipping! I ship my characters with my irl partner's characters only! |
|---|---|---|
| Do not write/draw NSFW stuff about my characters. If you do, keep it private. |
Characters
Note to self for later: Detailed character bio at top (all the "essay" stuff here instead of character story) also this is a replacement for short story blurbs. No story blurbs (useless), char detail instead.
-- at the top of story section, put link that leads to this page.
-- on the side, put buttons for diff stories for said character (wesley only story, roland x wes, general info if you must but avoid this)
--darker background for all.
⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙
Full name ┊ Wesley Neha
Age ┊ 23 yr. old
Voice claim ┊ Paul Amos (as Jacob Frye) or Yuma Uchida (as Kaveh)
Gender/Pronouns ┊ (Trans) Male / he,him
Height/weight ┊ 180 cm (5'9'') / 74 kg (163lbs)
Occupation ┊ Babylonian Corpse Retrieval ✞, commander of group "Achilles" (Clean-up crew) or the "Graveyard shift"
Job activities ┊ Giving final rites, Basic forensics, Gathering evidence, Analyzing and documenting scenes, Collaborating with other teams, Faking deaths of people, Corpse disposal, Construct body repairs etc.
Birthday ┊ 8th of October (Happiness at work day)
Favorite time/weather ┊ Morning twilight, Cloudy spring days
Favorite activity ┊ Coming up with outfits for his mechanoids, making sure they are fashionably synchronized, Singing
Favorite foods ┊ Pasta bolognese, Green pasta, Truffles, Pizza, French toast, Milkshakes, Banana split, Rice & nut pudding
His emoji ┊ 🦊
Ship name ┊ RolWes 🦝🦊
Ship dynamic ┊ Enemies > Friends > LoversCharacter alignment ┊ Chaotic Good
Nicknames, titles and aliases ┊ Wes, Wessie, Gravedigger, Ginger Fox, Archie, Ascendant Magnet, Dirt-boy (Nickname given by Vera), Gravekeeper, Pippi Longstocking (Also given by Vera), Roland's squire
Likes ┊ Putting corpses back together (to him it's like legos), Taking care of people in conservation areas, Vodka, Roland (loves him), Ember (his old construct), His mechanoids, Quoting his favorite movies, Musicals and singing along, Dirty jokes, Horror movies, His exoskeleton, Betting (When he loses he says "Welp, can't take money to the grave anyway"), His trusty shovel he named "The Jackrabbit", Stripe patterns, Retro vinyl records, Telenovelas, Visual novels, Costume making & crochetting, Gardening (Plants are the only "living" things he's allowed to be in charge of), Detective shows & Murder mysteries, Board games & tabletop games, Roleplaying, Berry picking (in conservation areas), Collecting figurines & giving them away, He admires the Gray Raven team, His standard gun, Coordinating attacks, Showing off the capabilities of his exoskeleton, Bragging, Chewing on things, Teasing others, Being teased, Cute mascots, Doing makeup for others, Alcohol, Theme parks, Ferris Wheels, Government conspiracy theories, History books, Lucille and her dog, Bridget (they work together often), Karenina (he is a bit scared of her), Vera (he thinks she is very cool), Cryptids, Camping, Urbex, Standing up for himself (it makes his heart pound nicely)Dislikes ┊ Ghosts, Being accused that he is stealing from corpses, Being called "Achilles" because he thinks it's ironic, Being bullied, People who judge others' professions, Doing favors for the Purifying force (Feels like its going to bite him back one day), Kurono, Nikola, Vonnegut, Leaving people behind, Being made to wait, Surprise "missions" from Philippa (She always gets him in trouble, then he makes it out by a hairs length), Breaking promises, Retrieving corpses from places that are difficult to reach, Terrifying unmapped areas, Tight corridors, Lockdowns & too many authorizations, Dealing with paperwork, Crawling through vents, Being separated from his mechanoids, Needing to temporarily 'kill' his mechanoids when they become compromised by the punishing virus
︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
✧Some character quotes✧- "As you wish ♡"- "You have wonderful nails, miss Bambinata!"- "Oh, finally! A normal person!" (approaches Roland)- "I forgot to introduce myself, right? Sorry about that"- "Argh! this is just like in the "Lone survivor" when the last guy takes a stand against his enemies in the forest!"- "Ola, ola! Time to play!" (orders his mechanoids to attack)- "Ahh I was always a little... you know"- "She's a right old bossy-boots isn't she?" (talking about Vanessa)︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
✧Fun facts ✎. . . . . . . .He never forgets to say his 'thank you' even if he is in a rush.Because of his job, he often carries corpse parts in his bag and even his pockets if he's running out of space. If you randomly went to do a pat-down search you'd probably be freaked out.Due to Earth's saturation with the virus, his mechanoids occasionally go berserk. He has to put them down for his own safety, then later tries to repair them using his knowledge from assembling corpses because he can't request maintenance so often (There is a disparity between the quality of his mechanoids and the times he can have them repaired in Babylonia).He isn't shy of criticizing Roland. Even though he's just a human, he will "tell it how it is" to the Ascendant, straight into his face. Sometimes Roland will pretend to be extra serious/pissed off just to see if Wes will back down (He doesn't) and it's something he respects about him.Roland keeps putting beautifully penned handwritten letters into corpses because he knows Wesley will find them.Roland offered to rename his mechanoids. Wes didn't accept.
︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
Positive traits 🔹 & Negative traits 🔸
| ✓ Good-natured and caring | ✘ Emotionally immature which often gets him misunderstood |
|---|---|
| ✓ Likes helping people and wants them to know they're valued | ✘ Becomes irresponsible when prioritizing his desires first |
| ✓ Good at taking care of himself (And others) on Earth | ✘ Can be rude and standoffish. Will be annoying on purpose |
| ✓ Talkative and curious | ✘ Bad with setting boundaries |
| ✓ Warm and accomodating. He will share anything he owns | ✘ Passive-aggressive and holds grudges |
| ✓ Quietly works in the background to help people get along | ✘ Very forgetful and easily believes nonsense (conspiracy theorist) |
| ✓ Not squeamish at all and minds his own business | ✘ Loses himself in others (mirrors the desires of others and loses sight of his own) |
Wesley's story
Team leader of a clean-up crew that takes orders primarily from the Babylonian government, and frequently acts as their informant. Wes hails from the Nighter ship as a stowaway with his mother, where homelessness and overpopulation forced them to commit petty acts of crime to survive. Their relationship became a lot more abusive as Wes grew older, and he eventually snuck into Babylonia's cargo ship during a time of their cooperation with Kowloong. Since Babylonia also wanted to spy on their ally, they gave Wesley a few missions as "a test". Since he succeeded and showed a lot of potential (and was still a child) they decided to fulfill their promise to him and took him to the sky fortress.This is where they trained him to become a field commandant. He started a bit late because he was older than the other kids, but he worked hard (because he felt obligated to Babylonia) and started doing missions early. It took him years to finally graduate as a F.O.S. commandant and become responsible for his own team. Unfortunately, he could only be a commandant for 3 months, before one of his constructs malfunctioned fatally and became infected with the punishing (Ember). This happened after he was betrayed by a group of scavengers who wanted to kill him and dismantle his constructs for "usable parts". To make matters worse, this construct encountered an Ascendant who shared his power with her. Wesley almost lost his life while trying to maintain a connection with her while she slowly transformed into one of them. In the end she left with the other Ascendant, and Wesley's M.I.N.D. beacon became permanently tainted. It was one of the shortest careers in Babylonia.
⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙
Full name ┊ R̸͑̀̾̑ ̸̛̆͂͗O̴̊̃̍̂ ̷͛̒̂͝L̸͆̽͆ ̷̋͑͗A N ̎̌D̴͗͊͂̃
Age ┊ U҉N҉K҉N҉O҉W҉N҉ (??)
Voice claim ┊ (His canon Voice Actors)
Gender/Pronouns ┊ (Doesn't care) Male / he,him
Height/weight ┊ 178 cm (5'8'') / 90 kg (198lbs)
Occupation ┊ Ascendant Enforcer
Job activities ┊ Intimidation, Strategizing and infiltration, Pinpointing enemy weakspots, Spying, Supervision, Abduction, Obtaining information, House chores
Birthday ┊ 2nd of May
Favorite time/weather ┊ Early morning, before the sun comes up
Favorite activity ┊ Teasing others, Pretending he is imprisoned, Seeing what choices others make
Favorite foods ┊ Fish, Spicy ramen, Tortillas, Shrimps, Chicken burgers, Anything with coconuts in it, Chocolate milk, Spaghetti, Pancakes
His emoji ┊ 🦝
Ship name ┊ RolWes 🦝🦊
Ship dynamic ┊ Enemies > Friends > LoversCharacter alignment ┊ Neutral Evil
Nicknames, titles and aliases ┊ Roro, Ascendant, Rolmo, Ratface, "The Jester", Creepy Nerd (given by Camu)
Likes ┊ Making plush toys, Wesley, Luna, Talking (a lot), Being a wallflower, making exagerrated moves and gestures, Cooking, Kamui/Camu, Badly photoshopping and editing photos, Using archaic words, Gloating, Collecting junk (has a bunch of stuff like bottlecaps and clasps), Explosives, "Acting like a good construct", Acting out movie scenes, Shocking people, Giving people freedom of choice and seeing what they choose, Fighting (but not too much), When someone remembers conversations with him, When someone fulfills or remembers a promise they made, Old movies & classics, Reading books, When someone thanks him, Sweets/candies, Talking in riddles, Giving names to things, Being asked questions, People who have strong will and a clear goal, Rock-paper-scissors, Causing drama, Seeing people show him different expressions, Watching corrupted carry out their old programming, Talking to inanimate objects, Staring at people, Hacking terminals and changing people's passwords, For some reason he likes taking blame for things he didn't do just to see where it goesDislikes ┊Nanami (more like he is afraid of her), Vera (actually afraid of her), Sand, Getting wet, Getting dirt in his cogs, Being taunted, Being ignored, Being bored, Excessive violence, Being made to do things he knows are pointless, "Puppet masters", Pushovers, Reality shows, generative AI, People who like to dig into the problems of others, People who try to psychoanalyze others, Fanatics, People who can't hold promises, People who are ungrateful, People who are pushy, Hipocrisy, People who respond by "not really responding", People who don't have (any) sense of humor, Ass-kissers and yes-men, Smalltalk, Wasting time, Risking dissapointment, Clingy people, Having a feeling like he is in a "loop", Having to betray people he actually likes, Being given too many gifts, Being told to do boring things
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✧Some character quotes✧- "Hola, amigo!"- "What an interesting question. A fine question indeed, miss." (He is trying to talk his way out)- "You didn't sound so cocky the last time when you were under my boot!"- "What a player, this one" (He's getting blackmailed)- „Greetings, sire“ (Bows ridiculously)- (Commenting the Gray Raven team) "My, what perfect little foot soldiers. I want to barf."- "Wesleeey! I am at your service today. At. Your. Service~♡„︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
✧Fun facts ✎. . . . . . . .The joints in his hip are misaligned, so he walks with a shamble.Once laid in front of Alpha's motorbike because she wouldn't take him along to a certain place.He loves giving names to things, but is really bad with coming up with names on the spot.He trains himself by thinking of worst possible scenarios so he doesn't get caught off guard.Roland can be very indecisive. Often comes up with „schrodinger's lies“. What is true and what isn't is something he decides independently of context where the „lie“ is happening. That is why, sometimes with Roland, words no longer have their original meaning because he is still deciding how he feels about what he's saying.
︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
Positive traits 🔹 & Negative traits 🔸
| ✓ Has a strong sense of duty and loyalty | ✘ Harsh and dissociated |
|---|---|
| ✓ When he sets his mind to something only death can take him down | ✘ Lies a lot, easily bored |
| ✓ Practical and clever. He is the Ascendant's "fixer" | ✘ Dangerously violent individual |
| ✓ Adheres to his own sense of honor | ✘ Scared and selfish |
| ✓ He never runs out of things to say and is a playful conversationalist | ✘ Never asks for support |
| ✓ Skillful infiltrator who is very good at spying | ✘ Often overthinks and spirals into negativity |
| ✓ Very strong will of his own | ✘ Self-loathing |
Roland's story
Roland is a dutiful and loyal „knight“ who serves Luna in a world where no knights exist. He started out his life in an amusement park which he was sold to by his own parents, and there he was forced to hurt his only friend for the amusement of others, until the day he realized that he was also played for a fool. He was finally freed when the Punishing Outbreak occured, but only because the people in charge there left him to die. He even ended up as a test subject for some rogue scientists instead of being saved... And then ended up being abandoned all the same. One bad day was worse than the others, and he thought about ending his life. But then he was saved by Luna who helped him become an “Ascendant” instead. Besides saving him, miss Luna was also the first real person that didn’t have a reason to lie to him or betray him. This is when he gave himself a goal to fulfill her wish. He hopes that among the Ascendants, at least she can live a normal life, and this is what he strives for.At the same time, Roland still continued to talk to himself a lot, which was something he used to do since childhood. He abstained from approaching any humans because of his traumatizing experience with his first friend. He felt as though people getting close to him would just result with them getting hurt. Soon though, he would hear about a bizarre commandant named “Wesley” who preferred the company of mechanoids to that of other people. He thought that was interesting, so he cautiously came near. At some point, he decided to face him personally and by doing so he was making Wesley “real”. He ended up wanting to know “what sort of person” this stranger would see once they got to know him. They continued to spend more time together, until Roland started to loosen up. He first developed empathy for Wes, and then for himself. Their exchanges continued until their friendship grew into affection... After so many years of wanting “nothing for himself”, Roland realized he wanted this person to stay by his side.
⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙
Full name ┊ Eryk Thorne
Age ┊ Appears to be 20 years old
Voice claim ┊ Henry Lloyd-Hughes (as Alidoro)
Gender/Pronouns ┊ Male / he,him
Height/weight ┊ 175 cm (5'8'') / ?? kg (Body composition changed due to fusing with a Threnodian)
Occupation ┊ Black Shores Bloom Bearer
Birthday ┊ ??
Favorite time/weather ┊ Being inside during heavy downpours, Winter
Favorite activity ┊ Trying out different lives by living through people's dreams in the Somnoire, Delivering packages for Lollo Logistics (He likes flying to new places), Fighting powerful opponents, Training with Calcharo
Favorite foods ┊ Ramen, Sweet & Sour Pork, Crushed Candy, Roasted lamb, Dried meats, Echoes, TD's, Any food that Brant prepares
His emoji ┊ 🖤
Ship name ┊ BrantRover, EryBrant 🖤⚓
Ship dynamic ┊ Begrudging allies > LoversCharacter alignment ┊ Neutral Good
Nicknames, titles and aliases ┊Little brother, "Bro", Erika's Twin, Ery, Threnodian symbiote, Smug Brat
Likes ┊Exploring Sonoro Spheres, Lazing off like a cat, Being told sweet words, Complaining, Teasing his sister, Crows, Brant (Loves him), Visiting people's dreams in the Somnoire, Thinks TD's are cool, Protecting his sister, Collecting unique weapons, Chatting with Aalto, Sneaking off to waste time with Zani, Getting in trouble with his sister, Being relied on, Participating in heists and "fun stuff", Gossip, Trying out inventions & new weapons, Chasing criminals (Loves scaring them), Being asked to help with secret plans, Getting tied up, Flying around and delivering things, Wall run challenges, Witnessing drama, Getting dressed up & made pretty by somebody, Fighting, Fooling people with his sister, Communicating with echoes by emitting frequencies instead of using his words (He calls it "Telepathy". It's not), Keeps trying to make pizza levitate into his mouth (It doesn't work), Advertising the Black Shores in his own unique way (Tries to bully them into joining like Camellya, until his sister stops him), Devouring excess dreams in the Somnoire, Reading every edition of Wutherium Geographic so he knows what place to visit nextDislikes ┊ Threnodians, Sentinels, Hospitals, Research labs, When someone tries to tap into his Frequencies, He is jealous of his sister's stable relationship with Jiyan, He dislikes that Jiyan is trying to make her less of a troublemaker, When someone keeps trying to sell something to him, Explaining things, Being followed, Listening to lectures, When his sister promises -his- help to someone, When his sister talks to him like he's a kid because he's immature, When his sister takes away his weapons, Being ordered around, Mad scientists, Ovathrax's whispers, When he has to resist urges from the Threnodian, Brain fog, The "Original", Being forced to live out his destiny, When others are forced to live out their destiny
︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
✧Some character quotes✧- "More gifts? Haha, spoil me!" (When Mortefi brings new weapons for Eryk to try)- "You don't have to worry about me. I can crush a few thugs." (Overconfident in his Threnodian abilities)- "You weren't listening" - "What? I have all the details in here" (He taps his forehead. His sister starts shaking his shoulders with frustration)- "Haha, what's this, my birthday?" (He grins widely at the sight of TD's amassing to fight him) "The more the better!"- „You make a boring playmate. I'll see you later." (Flies off after feeling unfulfilled by a fight)- "Oh, that guy doesn't know he's about to get a face full of ME!"︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
✧Fun facts ✎. . . . . . . .Overconfident in his strength, but he wasn't always like this. Before he got fused with the Threnodian, his personality used to be a lot more timid. The current change in his character has to do with Ovathrax taking over parts of his brain.Since he is fused with the Threnodian Ovathrax, he feels a constant desire to fight or taunt others into taking him on.Got his face rearranged by Yuanwu. The context is that he was overcome by his Threnodian side and started attacking the Midnight Rangers until the wholesome gym leader stopped him dead in his tracks. He had to have a minor surgery following this incident.When he can, he tries to improve the dreams of others when he visits in the Somnoire. If he sees that someone is having a nightmare or an unpleasant dream, he tries to use his authority to make it a little nicer. He helps people reconcile their regrets, or he "devours" the monsters that chase them. This is how he met Scar. He lost because he wasn't allowed to use the Threnodian's power inside the Somnoire.
︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
Positive traits 🔹 & Negative traits 🔸
| ✓ Very brave and loyal | ✘ Feisty, Narcissistic |
|---|---|
| ✓ Protector of the weak | ✘ Keeps ending up in fights |
| ✓ Very dependable | ✘ Never does 'exactly' what he's asked |
| ✓ Empathetic | ✘ Irresponsible |
| ✓ Wants others around him to feel good | ✘ Things fly out of his mouth without thinking, Likes to taunt |
| ✓ Never asks for payment when he has to fight someone. He says the "brawl itself is the pay" | ✘ You have to constantly remind him of his responsibilities |
| ✓ Likes to entertain those around him | ✘ Very impatient |
Eryk's story
Eryk's origin is traumatic, because he wasn't born, he was created. He was reconstructed from the memories of a dying person, created using extreme methods involving Remnant energy and Fractsidus tech. His body was assembled on the go while everything collapsed under an ongoing Lament which left him with permanent physical degradation. But luckily, his savior managed to send him to another timeline. While still disoriented from arriving to a new world, he met a person who looked exactly like him. It was the girl Rover, who was the designated protagonist (Also a clone...) for this timeline. But her personality was much different from his. She was a lot more selfish and she ended up using him to get out of trouble, and they banded together by accident.At first they were just pretending to be siblings, but they realized that they worked quite well together (Because surprise, surprise, they were the same person). The two of them started acting like a real brother and sister, and Erika even gave him a name because he couldn't remember his own. Unfortunately, Eryk's health condition dropped to an irreversible point. It all ended with Erika fusing him with a remnant of the Threnodian „Ovathrax“ by using her special Rover abilities which she wasn't even aware of. This would lead to a tense relationship with the City of Jinzhou, but Erika and her brother were allowed to stay because of her exemplar performance when helping Jiyan fight against the real Ovathrax. While living in the wild, Eryk trained with Calcharo to master his inhuman side. Then the siblings got scouted by the Black Shores who essentially adopted them, and they were sent to their first, real, mission together in Rinascita. And that's where Eryk fell in love with a local revolutionary who wants to exploit his Threnodian side.
LATER
⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙
Full name ┊ Regill Hains
Age ┊ 27 yr. old
Voice claim ┊ Elliot Christensen-Yule (as Shadow in PoE)
Gender/Pronouns ┊ (AFAB) Nonbinary / he, any, they
Height/weight ┊ 164 cm (5'5'') / 60 kg (132 lbs)
Occupation ┊ Page, Confessor (failed), Briefly a member of Mohg's Dynasty, Bandit and then a wanderer, Wants to become a retainer of a worthy Elden Lord- in the end, he didn't find a "worthy" Lord, but he found someone he wanted to make happy
Job activities ┊ Scouting, Information gathering, Copying manuscripts, Helping slay dragons, Trying to look busy so Queelign doesn't smack him
Birthday ┊ 23rd of April
Favorite time/weather ┊ Windy sunny days, Finding new picturesque places to laze about on his own
Favorite activity ┊ Playing his flute, Telling stories, Banditry alongside roads travelled by other Tarnished, Studying Blackflame scrolls, Studying anything that has something to do with a goddess of Sin from beyond Lands Between, Lazing about in canopies or playing his flute on nice looking meadows
Favorite foods ┊ Dragon Hearts, Rowa berries (Yes he actually steals food from his horse), dried fruit
His emoji ┊ 🐀
Ship name ┊ RegiNye 🐀☀️
Ship dynamic ┊ Forced proximity, Monster romanceCharacter alignment ┊ True Neutral
Nicknames, titles and aliases ┊ Buckethead Regill, Reggie
Likes ┊ Blackflame, Nye, his scimitar & naginata, Messmer, Patches, cats, collecting pieces of lore, recording history, expensive loot, Basilisks, cheating, pretending to be polite, playing cards with Patches, likes characters who are friendly, likes characters who forgive & forget easily, whistling (he is capable of imitating bird song!), Zorayas, Iji, Kale and the merchants, really loves Nokron cityDislikes ┊ Mohg's Dynasty, his first master, The Golden Order, filth, violence, doesn't like fighting for no reason, hates feeling scared, Dung Eater, rooms with no windows, being followed around, loud noises, sleeping, Frenzy, the Volcano Manor recusants (he's pretty scared of them)︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
✧Some character quotes✧- "Eheh, why... I knew you could handle it! ...That's why I left them to you."- "You haven't figured it out, have you? I just can't resist messing with you."- "(cringes) Ugh, it's kinda making me emotional."- "Hello-hello, is anyone home? (taps a hollowed warrior's helmet) No?"- "He's thick as boots, but nobody is as adorable as him."- "I'd bet my boots you do."- "Ohh ohh? What do we have here?"- "I don't care how you look at me. Hipocrisy is the privilege of those who can survive. I've stolen other things, too."︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
✧Fun facts ✎. . . . . . . .Regill often tries to pass off as a merchant or a traveller. He will offer a huge discount if he starts feeling nervous. At one point, he left an entire haul of treasure after the Tarnished he was speaking with grew wary of him and started asking where is his "donkey" 😨 (as soon as Regill bolted, leaving all his treasure behind- the person felt pretty lucky 😗🎵~)Regill loves the Nokron city and its surrounding regions, he often slinks into the depths beneath Limgrave to watch "the stars". The main reason why Limgrave is his favorite area is also because of what's under it.Regill became a bandit out of a need to scramble and survive. Eventually, he learned that he actually preferred this way of life. For a time, felt what it was to be "happy". Regill knows he's a good-for-nothing rascal and he lets his travel companions know that if push comes to shove, he will likely abandon them to their fate (and he expects them to do the same). He feels happier and comfortable when he's surrounded with characters who pursue their own goals.When playing games, Regill cheats so much that it becomes an entirely different game. For an example, while playing cards with Patches, both keep calling each other out and exaggerating their indignation. It's all in good fun though, because as soon as the game is done they're back to being friends 🤝🤝
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Positive traits 🔹 & Negative traits 🔸
| ✓ Very resourceful and clever | ✘ Cheats in every game he plays, will pretend to be offended if you catch him |
|---|---|
| ✓ Skillful user of Blackflame | ✘ Enjoys robbing and stealing |
| ✓ You can always count on him to save himself | ✘ Will abandon his comrades to their fate if something dangerous happens |
| ✓ Cool tempered, it's very difficult to make him angry | ✘ Complacent and a coward |
| ✓ Sweet talker | ✘ Lies a lot |
| ✓ Surprisingly good at cheering people up | ✘ He is not above cowering, or licking someone's boots if it means they will have mercy on him |
| ✓ Curious and likes learning new things | ✘ Easily bored, might betray you if working together stops being exciting |
Regill's story
Regill was always a crass character with the typical bearings of a bandit, even while he lived as a servant in his Master's lavish home in Leyndell. His earliest memories are of him being a Page after his Master saved him from a life on the streets. Though Regill wasn't „saved“ as much as he was „bought“- his lord only choosing beautiful servants to walk side by side with them. He submitted to this position, never lacking food, rest, or interesting books to read. He did not care about humiliation or unfairness, it was the world he grew up in. Is it a crime for a hungry child to steal? Is it a crime to 'rescue' a child out of poverty when you buy them as a slave? To him, the concepts of right and wrong were always just drummed up noise. But nonetheless, Regill never truly „liked it“. He hated this boring life and worked up a desire to become a royal archivist in the Golden Order, earning enough rank and runes to buy himself out of his Master's service.But while researching the topic of Outer Gods, Regill becomes interested in „Sin“, so much that he briefly even forgot his goal. Ironically, the research of this topic causes the Order to lose interest in him, and Regill loses his chance to buy his freedom. Even worse, he is sent to work on the fringes of the kingdom as a „Confessor“ and even after fulfilling his duty, he'd simply be returned to his master to continue working as a Page. Regill thought it was tedious to go there- but he also thought it was tedious to try rebelling. He would spend several months working as a Confessor... smirking at the irony fate brought down on him.Then one day, the camp where he rested alongside troops of the Golden Order got raided overnight- by none other than the dark invaders who serve the Lord of Blood. Soon, every member of the camp found themself tied together and lined up like cattle, while their new „owners“ determined how they will be sacrificed. Driven to desperate limits by fear, Regill threw himself at the feet of the nobles, kissing them and begging them to be put into service rather than killed. Bemused, they put a kriss into his trembling hands, with clear intentions. They wanted to judge his willingness to aid the Mohg Dynasty. Nobody could say who was more terrified on that day. The victims whose blood flowed, or the frightened Regill reflected in their eyes. Ever since then, he was a member of the cult. There was a strength to sticking together with them, and as long as somebody else was sacrificed- that was another day added to his life. As he became used to this twisted daily existence, Regill found himself with enough spare time to resume his studies on „Sin“, and this time, in the tombs in Limgrave he found Blackflame- it almost felt like a reward for all the loathsome decisions he made in life. He even became complacent with feeling shame. But Regill couldn't help but feel like the world was poking fun of him. The thing he was searching for all this time, was already there. "Sin" became his companion and his destiny.
⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙
Full name ┊ Segment 113, Balthazar (Zaro)
Age ┊ Over 300 years old
Voice claim ┊Pip Torrens, voice of "Varre" from Elden Ring
Gender/Pronouns ┊ Male / he,him
Height/weight ┊ 250 cm (8'2'') / 180 kg (396 lbs)
Occupation ┊ Dottore Segment in charge of investigating the Irminsul
Job activities ┊ Creating new artificial species, Irminsul memory dives, Irminsul scraping & analysis, “Garden” expansion and maintenance, species culling, researching connection between Fate and dreams, Human dreams research, Teyvat biology research, Research of the Teyvat planar realm
Birthday ┊ Doesn't know, he doesn't even count his segment years he is just broadly aware of them
Favorite time/weather ┊ Clear and sunny, noon
Favorite activity ┊ Teasing others by messing with their perception of the real world, resting upside-down, working on "The Garden", resource collection
Favorite foods ┊ Honey, Collected sap from the Divine Tree, Irminsul sap, Blood, Strong alcohols, Poisons & toxic brews, Irminsul-based creatures, Monsters, Salads, Rotting fruit, Sweet cake
His emoji ┊🦗
Ship name ┊ Zarotto🦗🔪
Ship dynamic ┊ Enemies > LoversCharacter alignment ┊ Neutral Evil
Nicknames, titles and aliases ┊ Dark Fey, Lord of Locusts, Fey Prime, Imperator Fey, Achaterosom and Sidhe Fae
Likes ┊ His Garden, his lab, watching humans go about their day, smelling blooming gardens, light sources, climbing things, heat, rare artifacts and baubles, precious curios, talking to his imprisoned Aranara, gorging himself, receiving compliments, being called “master” or “excellency”, ordering people around, coming up with creative insults, coming up with pet names, rhyming things, doing maintenance on his Garden, teleporting around, teasing people, when someone listens to him complain, being offered the food that he likes (You can literally gift him poison and he will love it), tempting people, working alone, using his abilities to sow confusion, instilling fake memories, Sumeru’s lush jungles, turning people into furniture, watching people eat foodDislikes ┊ Glass doors, closed windows, walking (He’s not used to pretending to be human & his body feels very heavy in his true form), rolled up newspapers, water, anything that kills bugs (it can’t kill him, but it makes him deeply disturbed), when he accidently destroys something because of his big body, being spied on, being hunted, having neighbours or visitors, when someone tries to be his friend, when he isn’t being listened to, feeling responsible, when someone tries to find out his “precious secrets”, Prime, physical touch makes him shiver, seas and rivers, combat & fighting
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✧Some character quotes✧- "Don't fret, my pet."- "Ke ke ke... don't worry your little head, my ssssweet." (Pinches your cheek with his clawed hand)- "...Eating poisoned fruit and getting lost where you don't belong? What a naughty child!"- "Kssss.... lookss like you weren't a worthlesss sskunk after all!"- "I'm sssssorry." (He hissed nonchalantly) "I helped myself to your thingssss, ke ke ke-"- „What is this nonssssense that I am looking at, exactly? And who are you? SSSSSPEAK!"- „Hmmm. You don't look like much.“︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
✧Fun facts ✎. . . . . . . .He really loves poisonous and rotten food. If he invites you to a tea party, make sure your desserts aren’t poisoned (You’re out of luck if it’s rotten though, that’s the whole menu). It’s not that he wants to kill you, he literally just gave you the same food he’s having. He rarely spares a thought for others so unfortunate events often happen to his guests.His inner voice also speaks with a hiss.His pincers often move subconsciously, constantly tittering and twitching while he talks or rests in monster form. His sharp teeth are venomous, too.He is very annoyed with the constraints of human beings. Especially because he has to adhere to them when he dons his “glamour” to go trading with humans. He’d feel most comfortable standing on the side wall or the ceiling but instead he has to fit in and “crawl on the ground” like everyone else.Zaro doesn’t faint normally. Instead, he curls up like a dead insect and it becomes impossible to interact with him until he has regained his composure. He looks the same way when he sleeps (His legs are stiff and curled up, he looks really dead).
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Positive traits 🔹 & Negative traits 🔸
| ✓ Pragmatic and insatiably curious | ✘ Dangerously violent, can't control his urges because of his mutation |
|---|---|
| ✓ Self-reliant | ✘ Projects his problems on others |
| ✓ Interested in helping others break free from negative relationships | ✘ Has rigid expectations |
| ✓ Has a vast array of special abilities | ✘ Doesn't want to get close to anyone |
| ✓ His extra limbs make him a decent surgeon | ✘ Extremely gluttonous |
| ✓ Can be negotiated with. If he gets to have his way, he'll let you go | ✘ Kidnaps travellers for his experiments or fools them into doing his bidding |
| ✓ Cautious and observant | ✘ Very inconsiderate |
Zaro's story
Zaro is one of the earliest Segments ever made by Dottore. He was created during the „Segment trials“, using prototype blueprints and procedures that could be pushed to the extremes because of an already low success rate. Dottore was still developing clone technology and it was a chance to glean as much knowledge as possible without wasting precious resources. One of those „mistakes“ was Balthazar. But unlike the other test subjects, he was functional and useful enough to be kept alive. Balthazar's body was highly prone to mutation from the start so he had to learn a habit of administering suppresants to keep himself sane and in human shape. Seeing what happened to the others, Balthazar became depressed and grew to hate his creator. When it was finally possible for him to perform his own research (He was sent to study the Irminsul in Sumeru), he used his abilities and the World Tree to create a special planar realm to hide and broke all contact.He stopped taking his medicine, hoping that all the mutations would kill him and put an end to his story. Unfortunately, they didn't and he simply became stuck as a monster. His transformation made him even less willing to go outside, and he fell into the danger of starving to death. His hunger grew along his cumbersome body and he experienced extreme hunger pains. Then he created one of his first accomplishments, the „Glamour“ that lets him seemingly resemble a normal human being, more or less. Since then he kept visiting human settlements to trade and listen to them. He spent 300 years living like this, until he finally perfected the Garden. It was no longer just a hiding place, but also a decent research hub. Ironically, he still carries out his maker's directive simply because he can't resist his curiosity. This new resident gave rise to many rumours in Sumeru. Especially the ones about a mad scientist, and travelers who keep going missing.
Stories
Archive
Archive
Diary of Balthazar: Discarded Monster 🦋
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's (Dottore Segments) from Genshin Impact!
Fairies are too often depicted as idealized humans with very little changes to their anatomy. What if there was a fairy that leaned more to an insect than a human? What if we had to deal with a monstrous trickster?More than a hundred years ago, Dottore sought to scrutinize the Irminsul’s secrets. An opportunity presented itself when he met the Kabukimono and whose betrayal led him into cooperation with the Fatui. The boy joined his grand project as ‘Scaramouche’, and experiment after experiment, he became well acquainted with the qualities of his body. This brought forth an excellent idea: creating segments that are just as smart and capable as him.Using branches of the Irminsul as raw material, he would make doubles that can conduct their own research. The things that constrain life would no longer apply to him, at least not as much. Their unique perspectives would help him along his goal of elevating humans to the level of gods. But the problem was, he still lacked the lost art. Puppet-making was a Khaenriah technology that was sunk in the abyss far beyond his reach. Instead he had to rely on Scaramouche as the foundational blueprint. There was a lot of potential and a lot to refine. The process proved to be perilous, and Dottore decided not to squander his best materials on early prototype segments. Instead, he decided to use the opportunity to its fullest. This was just going to be another experiment.The results were many corpses and artificial horrors. Dottore ended up orchestrating his own birth and death for hundreds of times. Each success was a marvel, but not enough by his standards. One of them was a radical attempt at researching Ley lines and dreams. He created an abominable segment by the name of “Balthazar” who couldn’t seem to stop mutating. But there was a lot of value in his unique body, so he was allowed to continue existing. Since then, Dottore perfected his segments which makes Balthazar almost a living relic.--“Balthazar” or “Zaro” was made to draw elemental energies from the ley lines, and knows more about Irminsul than any other segment. He is a partially bionic fey. Not to be mistaken with fairies who live in Snezhnaya, this creature was more like something out of a storybook.Zaro can absorb and regulate the harmful elemental energies inside him, which is enabled by his unstable genetic structure. Because he was made with the purpose of studying the Irminsul, his body is under constant psionic charge, making his temperament volatile and prone to anger. Sometimes when too much energy courses through his body, his emotions become impassioned and euphoric. His anger is powerful enough to alter the appearance of his Domain (His main research lab) or outside weather. His servants fear him as they tend to get eaten. It became very hard to keep Zaro's sanity in this combined form.The bionic implants in his body used to help him prevent his own mutation (“used to” being the operative word). It was a fight against his unstable genetic structure. But, he purposefully neglected administering the anti-mutagens (He was depressed) and this eventually transformed him into what he is now. His mind went half-way into primal form, and his brilliance became muddled. This is why some of his experiments sometimes straight up make no sense, or lead nowhere. Since Zaro's own cognition was damaged by the mutation, he must consciously fight to keep his urges from overpowering his thought processes.Every week he has to submerge himself into elemental energies and undergo a form of "cryosleep". This is done to preserve all data he acquired, and while unconscious he's unable to defend himself. For that reason his chambers are well-hidden beneath a tapestry of dreams. Sometimes, while he sleeps, Aranara gather around and watch him.Zaro feels a stronger connection to his past than most other segments. Mostly because memories and feelings flow freely across the fabric of time inside the World Tree. For him this is a very complicated and personal experience. A long time ago, the original Dottore used to personify a force of nature. He was rejected by his own kind and by humans alike. Although this happened hundreds of years ago, because of Irminsul's unique relationship with memories, he feels the wounds of rejection as if they were fresh from yesterday. He hopes to find comfort and consolation in his achievements while making sense of the world and his place in it.Dottore wanted to create an artificial fairy, but what he truly created is a monster.--The apparent age of his body (or rather what is left of it after mutation went through) is approximately 25, even though his real age is closer to 300. He inherited a clear arcane affinity from his precursor model, and bears the code name "Achaterosom" which is how Dottore Prime refers to him. His great likeness to the World Tree lets him influence the perception of living beings (something that Dottore has perfected since). This is why Zaro can project a human-like appearance into the minds of other segments and those who perceive him.However, despite that he’s one of the least human segments, Zaro still possesses human qualities. The strongest ones are self awareness and jealousy. His bestial nature made those traits even more pronounced. Because of his make, he is extremely aware of the “otherness” that all Dottore segments must deal with. For that reason he even considered using his abilities to make himself invisible. But instead he settled on a glamour(A spell used by fairies to blend in with humans).It’s an illusion made possible by a powerful connection to the Irminsul. But, the illusion isn't perfect- Because of mutation, Zaro lost some of his cognitive capacity. He can't help but sometimes think like an insect, and he cannot fully focus on „being human“. That is why even his illusion bears visible insect characteristics, and when he walks, he can't help but tiptoe- pretending to walk like a human is hard since his legs in his true form just don't work that way.This human form has a flamboyant style that borders on tacky. His fangs stick out on the left side of his mouth, his insect chitin is disguised as „black armor“ on his arms, and his body fur appears as a "wearable fur coat". His antennae are still visible, and he towers at 250 cm height, far above most other segments and normal humans (His huge height is an inspiration I took from Lady Dimitrescu, because I really enjoy the idea of Zaro needing to squeeze through doors or being able to pick up other segments and carry them). While having the glamour spell on, Zaro's voice sounds fruity and slightly coarse. And in his true form, it's a grating scowl and when he’s upset, he hisses with irritation, and his voice has a growing trill. It's possible to feel the ominous droning vibrations go through your body.The idea of his glamour is look more friendly and relatable, but he’s often frightening instead. His teeth are sharp and venomous, and he does actually consider eating some of his allies at first.--... It also doesn’t help that he really likes walking upside down. When he rests in his home, he's mostly resting on the ceiling. Since he is an insect by a good part, Zaro also cannot resist wonderfully smelling gardens. He's keen on flowers, and a part of him really wants to stick his face into them regardless of how much it blows his cover.
His habits also give him away. Zaro can't shake the habit of rubbing his hands together while in human disguise (like cleaning his forelegs and antennae) nor can he resist instinctively wanting to climb things, like walls, tables, and rooftops. He also can't resist street lights... or lamps. His nature tells him to stand near light sources. And his movements also tend to be very fast and abrupt. For example, instead of normally turning his head to see you, his head would snap in your direction. His rapid movement means that he basically jolts from one gesture to another.When startled, he may behave exactly like a disturbed grasshopper. He’ll leap off into a wall, or fall on his back. He has no sense of direction while freaking out, and this makes him freak out even more.He also prefers entering houses through windows (Because of his superhuman abilities, two story buildings are no challenge at all), and he hates glass doors. Being around them makes him feel... inferior (Insert flashback of Zaro repeatedly ramming into the door as he's trying to leave a meeting) and "bugs hit the glass because they do not have the intellectual capacity to realize they are hitting an obstacle and should attempt to pass another way".Zaro is sometimes ignorant of the effect of his otherworldly abilities towards humans he wants to interact with, ignoring the laws of his world and theirs. This sometimes results in „guests“ being trapped for seven years in his realm when they all thought they were simply visiting.--
There are many baubles and rare artifacts in his Domain. He’s very fond of them, even if he doesn’t use them. He may offer them in exchange for something valuable, or as a gift for sealing deals with him. He still has his prickly personality, and is hard to get along with, but you may be able to buy some time to talk to him if you get him rare kinds of tea. Zaro also loves recieving porcelain as gifts (He is very much like a swamp hag). When he isn’t overwhelmed, he has a fruity personality and he likes to speak in a condescending tone. He manages to pull that off while sounding like he's doting on you at the same time. He speaks in a honeyed way, often saying things like „Ohh,yes“ or „Mm, yes“. His manner of speech is reminiscient of a fey who invites travelers into their house and gifts them suspicious sweets. His voice is full of subtle voice cracks. He speaks like a doting grandmother. When he laughs, he sometimes shrieks in a high-pitched, raspy laugh that may sound startling.He also has this quirk where he calls everything heroic and adorable, no matter how much it tries to kill him: „Ah you're so adorable when you're angry like that“ or „I'm going to make you cute and adorable“ before turning you into an abominable monster.His appetite is monstrous, it’s obscene how much he will eat. At one point when he hung out with another segment, he arranged for a massive table to be filled with food and delights from all across Teyvat. The table was positively stacked with food and desserts. But while talking and chit-chatting his guest, Zaro ended up eating everything by himself, including one of his courtiers.Over time he accumulated a number of fearsome titles: Dark Fey, Lord of Locusts, Fey Prime, Imperator Fey, Achaterosom or Sidhe Fae.He moved into Sumeru and drove out many of the original Aranara. He often imprisons them in cages and uses them as a source of light across his laboratories. In some cases, he even uses their life energy to power his experiments. He is also known to try and influence outsiders to do his bidding. Folk tales used to say that Fairies carry away souls of those unfortunate to meet them, and in the case of this mad scientist, that is definitely true. Travelers, musicians and adventurers snatched away never to be seen. They must entertain Zaro to avoid becoming his food, food for his minions or spare parts for his experiments. He is a mad scientist after all.In his Domain, he has a bunch of "courtiers" who serve him, either as ‘servants to a lord’ (What Zaro deems himself to be) or lab assistants. They are exclusively his former test subjects and are monsters themselves. They refer to him as "lord", "master" or "excellency". Zaro is very fond of insulting them in creative ways (It's an inspiration of fairies being rude). He'd call them blithering fools, cackanded dimwits, oafish vermin, feckless dolts and so on. Also, he’s often possessed by an instinct to make things rhyme.The name of his secret domain (and main lab) is Feywild Fane. In other instances, it is sometimes refered to by other characters as "The Garden". It's a carefully crafted interplanar realm, a place where Zaro can perform his experiments or hide from danger. This place is an intricate tapestry of dreams, crafted by Zaro using the World Tree in the way only he knows how. Here he can effortlessly swim through the air, ignoring gravity and his cumbersome body. The residents of the Garden are typically dangerous, depending on which layer of the plane you are exploring. The deeper you go into the Garden, the more dangerous it gets. Like Zaro, they are also monsters- and they very much share his gluttony. You chance to run into awakened plants, treants in the canopy or fey hounds, and each encounter may well end up being your last.--His powers include putting living beings to sleep with certain sound frequencies, or by using the dust from his wings. He can trick people into making dangerous deals with him and place illusions into the minds of mortals. As an elemental being, Zaro has a fair grip over natural forces. He can freeze water around you or shroud you in mist and send you back home.One of his abilities include teleportation. Whenever he is in an environment rich with ley line energy, Zaro can harness his special affinity and teleport around. Popping up behind your back while talking with you is his favorite thing to do. His other ability is to "curse" a person into being affected with whatever he drinks or eats. So, he can sip down on powerful alcohols and it will be the other who becomes drunk. He can also change the appearance of objects at will, and he sometimes uses this to play tricks on others for his own fun. Such as making items invisible, or making one item appear as a different one. The fact that he constantly regulates harmful Ley Line energies within his body, means he has no use for a vision of any kind.But he doesn’t just grant curses. Sometimes, he uses the power of the World Tree to close deals or offer wishes. Imagine wishing something from a fairy, and instead of an adorable little pixie, you're visited by a large, towering insect fiend. You may think you're signing up for a simple deal, but you end up trading away your limbs, becoming a test subject- or ending up being turned into one of his "courtiers" bound to serve him until the end of eternity.Be careful what you wish for!︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
Notes:
- I took a lot of inspiration from malevolent fairies, who would enjoy snatching mortals away into their realms, forcing them to become their spouses or servants (or in Zaro's case, test subjects). I feel like it's a great match for a mad scientist!
- Zaro is also inspired by "Hags"! Especially how he pampers his victims with pet names, and draws a wide smile (while hiding his sharp teeth) and urges you to do something very dangerous. He has a doting and kindly vibe, almost like a grandmother showering her grandchild with love. Zaro is definitely more of a "doting old grandparent" and less of a suave charmer.
- But most of all? He is a bloodthirsty fey creature that wants you for his experiments. Before you know it, you'll be sucking on poisoned apples.
- Zaro sometimes has nightmares of rolled up newspapers, slippers and bug spray. Zaro also despises going into water. He definitely can swim, but in most cases he will simply refuse going into any water that is beyond knee-depth. He will just grumble and stand there.
- When making him I took inspiration from the Grig fairy, Hags, Scorrow and Driders (especially the part about losing sanity on the account of their transformation)
- He "delights in corrupting purity & beauty" visually, this works even better because he's a bug, more specifically a locust associated with corruption.
Diary of Balthazar: Intertwining branches of Fate
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's (Dottore Segments) from Genshin Impact!
... Ever since the day of their creation, the segments worked hard to obtain information in their respective fields. They've been brought to life from the very essence of Dottore himself, his own body- and became his way of seeing the world with new eyes.The genius has eliminated the cost of just sticking to one path, and while this was largely beneficial, there has been some friction between different units of segments. Each possessing the temperament of the „original Dottore“ there would be arguments, and sometimes things would even come down to blows... There's even been a fair share of deaths caused by none other but the segments going after their own. But there was one of them that stood out- he wanted to play no part in it. His name was “Epsilon”- and he was one of the rare few who willingly stuck to the main objective that the scientist willed for his segments. He could mostly be seen in Prime's company. He looked up to him, knowing that the first “Omega” build was modelled after the scientist in his prime age, and greatly appreciated his mental acumen and mild mannered character. He'd carefully note down each of his words, and would execute his plans with great care.Prime knew how to steer other segments towards a common goal, and Epsilon appreciated that. He was fuelled with a desire to accurately represent the wishes of the "original Dottore", and being surrounded with temperamental segments he understood well what it meant to be fed up with their constant arguments.On one occasion while they worked together, Prime briefly mentioned some of his old projects. About the one time he had been tasked with segment creation. He had the opportunity to contribute in creation of his other self, watching as something new emerges from the broken pieces.Dottore was cloning himself to see what he'd need to see, perhaps, how to not end up where he did. Epsilon thought about it with almost an envy but also warmth that is rarely seen in "his kind". He was curious- and Prime satisfied him with an answer.Some years ago, Prime had created an exotic segment for the sake of his scientific study. A non-human segment, made out of Dottore's breath, said to contain his restless dreams. The result was extraordinary- a bionic fairy was created. A being capable of surviving alongside Irminsul's Ley lines, living effortlessly among the memories and souls of those that are forever recorded onto the ethereal tree. It was an extraordinary opportunity to tap into new knowledge. Unfortunately, all contact was lost. Prime smirks- perhaps on purpose. The segment in question stopped delivering reports about the Irminsul, inevitably delaying some of Prime's own progress.This could not be permitted to continue.Epsilon frowned upon hearing this. He wished that all segments took their jobs seriously as he had a poor experience with a particular segment who did whatever he pleased. After some deliberation, Prime turned towards his assistant. „You know, this is a relationship that I could mend. I would much favour it over coming to blows... and perhaps something will come of this for you too. You are a most trusted assistant to me, thus I will leave you with this task".Prime turned his head towards Epsilon, saying: „I will send you to meet him“ with a melodic tone that almost couldn't be ignored. "Of course" Epsilon replied- "it would be my pleasure to aid you". His heart began to beat more strongly at the thought of helping someone whom he'd served and admired for so many years.--With a short bow, Epsilon excused himself from Prime's study. And in less than a week later, he found himself on board the "Narchillian", a mercantile vessel in possession of the Fatui.On his way to the destined meeting, he couldn't help but feel excited. And anxious. He was interested in seeing this exotic segment with his own eyes, even though he feared he might meet a madman instead. He was tired of men who embrace sheer depravity in pursuit of knowledge. Soon he felt his body ache as a result of change in climate. They were drawing near.His gaze falls down, onto his limbs. These mechanical hands that resist him, they are both his burden and pride. Vague memories flew through Epsilon's mind. It was of someone else, who also could have been "him", but in a different way. It was as if these memories were experienced by someone else, but perhaps it would be better to address them as "feelings" rather than distinct events. It was like trying to recall a dream- and it was a bad one.The gentle swaying of the ship, and scents of the sea carried by the wind accompany Epsilon's ruminations. But this peace, or rather- emptiness is quickly dispelled, as one of the Fatui crewmen loudly assert that the harbor is within sight. And there it was, a sprawling new area, filled with new faces. The Fatui set into motion, and Epsilon was left to carry out his task. But, his curiosity overpowered him and he ventured further inland. Beckoned by something that was at the time unknown to him. It was like he set his foot off a boat and into a land of fairies from children’s tales. The open plains with meadows and forests stirred something pure inside of him, it was happiness. But also loads of pollen- too much of it. Epsilon leaned back and sneezed so loudly that Prime could almost hear him back in Snezhnaya.He reached his robotic hand out to an uncanny damselfly fluttering around him. It landed elegantly on his open palm. The insect looked at him with near-conscious intellect, before darting off in an unknown direction. Were all insects in Sumeru this way?--The flow of Ley line energies was particularly strong that day.It was something that Epsilon didn’t notice, but it was subtly working to lower his guard. Such was the nature of Sumeru, which borders between the real world and intricate layers of fantasy....Or perhaps a conscious, malevolent force. As Epsilon pushed on with his quest, he found himself near Mawtiyima Forest. This place was an object of stories about mortals encountering supernatural phenomena. Ordinarily, this wouldn’t mean anything special. There is plenty of places in Teyvat with myths tied to them. But with the special intel he could only receive from Prime, Epsilon knew this was a good starting point. Any domain entrances in this area would regularly become corrupted.As he walked through the forest, Epsilon played out the events from his day as a way of passing the time. But soon, he felt that it was hard for him to concentrate. The elemental energies dispelled his thoughts and gave him terrible weariness. He felt drowsy, and his feet were weak. Suddenly, the mist around him thickened, confining Epsilon to his nearest surroundings. Something huge jumped next to him in muffled sound, but for whatever reason, he couldn’t keep his attention fixed.Where are the enemies? Who are they? And why is it so hard to keep my thoughts?Epsilon assumed a combat ready stance, despite his deteriorating strength- "Who are you?? Show yourselves! I hope you know what you're messing with!"But instead of meeting him face to face, an unfamiliar voice rose up in his thoughts, spreading with a hiss: "This issssss a good place to rest... why don't you lay those weary limbs low..."These invasive, droning thoughts were difficult to shake off, which gave Epsilon an increasingly alarming feeling. The ground kept getting softer beneath his feet with each step taken, he felt his eyelids growing heavier, and his body became increasingly hard to move. But he didn't want to rest. These weren't the mechanical components acting up, but Epsilon quickly losing his consciousness.Each of his blinks felt like they lasted longer than the last one, and before he could realize he was more than six feet in the air!Epsilon watched his feet dangle beneath him. And then he spotted sharp, rake-like feet. Definitely not human. Has he slipped into a nightmare? As Epsilon slowly lifted his gaze, he became filled with an equal measure of terror and wonderment. The creature spoke with indignation - "Omega sssssends his spawn to investigate me! The nerve! Heed my wordsssss, this is my private ssssanctuary! I won't tolerate sssselfish intrusion. He can keep his fingers to himself!" - The insect growled and hissed, upset that another Dottore segment trot upon his concealed domain, surely to find out its treasured secrets.His voice boomed with flamboyance and pride. But Epsilon doesn’t even hear the insane fairy segment’s ramblings, despite the spit that is flying everywhere.His eyes curiously rested on Zaro’s legs. What is he, really? Epsilon perhaps expected to see a strange number of fingers, or perhaps even a horn or two.But the being in front of him was not as much of a monstrous scientist—as it was a monster with intelligence. Its humanity was as questionable as it was lacking. Then, a claw pointed at his face.--"Hissss... Your master should have known I’m fairly unwilling to share my secrets. Perhaps now that you have seen me, my cover is well and truly blown." Epsilon's attention snapped back to Zaro. His emotions were so intense, and the ley lines so powerful in the Mawityima forest (if they were even in the same location anymore) that the feelings of the two began blending into one another. Epsilon understood Zaro’s recklessness and pride, but also learned that Prime broke his heart. He felt powerful, vengeful emotions, and unreadable monster instincts, such as "hurt" and "kill". These last words sent cold chills through his body, and he hoped that the rational side of his captor's mind would overpower the instinctual one.The demonic segment resumed- “Prime only wants us to complete his objectives. He wants us to be mere tools! This isn’t what Dottore should be... he should be free, unrestrained... like a firestorm that rages through the land, carving it’s presence upon the face of the world. The whole world will know the one it rejected... and it will crave him back!”Zaro leaned into Epsilon with a conspiratorial smile. His grin became predatory, his wings began to flutter. “I can hear your thoughtsss” ... “Why can’t I break free, if only my limbs were stronger♫” Zaro repeats the words in Epsilon's voice. A wild, wicked laughter whipped across his mind.“What if I gave you better ones, fully functional monster limbssssss?... a world of ssensory delights will open itself before you. I will even give you some of my monsters to play with”. Through their shared consciousness, Epsilon could feel that Zaro’s words were not lies- the gift of mutation wouldn’t hinder, or degrade him. But it’s purpose was to spoil.Epsilon would have returned home, having failed his mission and being tampered with by the one who openly renounced Prime. It was the humor of a wicked fairy, drenched in debauchery and vice. Epsilon felt his will waver for a moment, but he remained steadfast. Zaro scoffed, becoming overly aware of his own constitution - "You would refuse the gift of mutation? ... But why sssshould I merely let you go? Oh, If only you knew the kindssss of experiments that can be produced on a segment! Your massssster was proud of what he created, too. Well. Allow me to demonstrate some of the more impressssssive effects of my power-"The towering insect reaches his clawed hand out towards Epsilon, peering into his mind and picking through his memories, looking for something that he may use. But the segment resisted, dropping all complicated thoughts and focusing on one important thing.Within him gathers all the powerful motive force that stands behind love- but also helplessness, loyalty and courage. Even if his Ruin guard parts impede him, they are a symbol of something important- which he accepted a long time ago. This was something that no foreign power could bend or twist. The demon insect brushed through Epsilon's mind, but he didn't find any traces of lies, or plots conceived against him. Only unwavering loyalty, and love towards Prime.Epsilon has successfully resisted the attempt.--Zaro now looks at his intruder, who appears to be at peace with himself. The segment's slow breathing quells the bionic fey's wrath. He grows silent and then he raises Epsilon’s chin, speaking to him from a short distance. “Hmph. It looks like you weren't a worthless skunk after all..." Prime chose well who to send to confront him. He hissed with indignation, and let Epsilon go. Clearly, what he saw in the segment's mind spoiled his mood for feyish jokes. "Forget it! I cannot stand this nonsense about loyalty. If you're not prepared for transformation then so be it! So long! This entire thing has cost me my appetite!"He mumbles towards the young segment one last time: "As for you, Epsilon, you should push such qualities out of your heart it's... it's distasteful". Zaro turned away, but not quickly enough for Epsilon to fail to capture the emotion that was written all over his face.Shortly, Ley energies began wrapping around Epislon's body. The same energies that were making him drowsy earlier. This time they overwhelmed him like a wave, no longer subtly creeping upon him. He tried to resist, but before he knows it- he has been transported back to Prime's lab. Only, he didn't know if he had arrived then or if it was a longer period of time. A growing headache started to thump inside his head, and Epsilon grabbed himself by the temples of his forehead.Then he heard a nearby door open, and another segment entered the room. This was an assistant whom he remembered seeing around Prime, helping out with surgeries. He had a slight stubble now, which was somewhat strange to our Segment. „Segment Epsilon, I thought you were a goner!“ – The assistant gasped, rushing towards him, letting a plate of food fall to the ground. He placed his palm on Epsilon's forehead to see if it's warm. Epsilon now realized that he's in a hospital bed. His eyes widened. The other segment started speaking: „It has been two months since Lord Prime sent you out to Sumeru, then you suddenly appeared out of nowhere! walking from the forest, no less! We were so confused, we didn't know what to do. You were exhausted, and starving. You have slept for three days now. Don't you remember anything?“Has so much time really gone by?"Did this really happen?" Epsilon was rattled, both from the teleportation and from the wild news laid out to him... He was so exhausted that all he could remember was a flutter of wings, and being held above the clouds where the air was fresh, and that his body felt light. The assistant told him that in his sleep, he kept muttering something about „giant insects“ and that wording got him pretty worried about sending future detachments of Fatui to Sumeru...Epsilon laughed.The other segment rubbed his head and seemed confused. In the background, Prime lounged in his chair. His experiment was a success. His exotic creation was not only alive, but also somehow still remained sane, despite the countless mutations wreaking havoc through its body. A monster couldn't think, let alone spare a soul that wandered into its den. Without witnessing „love“- he wouldn't have let Epsilon return home. That is not a judgement that a beast can make. While twirling a vial between his fingers, Prime thought to himself:"...And now... let's leak some of that information. We will allow the others to investigate for their own curiosity. And neither they, nor Zaro- will be able to see they've all been coming from me" He smirked contentedly.Epsilon sat at his work desk at the end of the day. He was resting in the seat and looking at a peculiar flower in his hands. The forget-me-not flower. He handles the fragile bloom gently as the scene slowly fades away into a row of tall, stained glass windows behind him. After all was said and done, he still felt a little bit of admiration for the towering monster.︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
Notes:
- Thank you for reading! 👋 Epsilon is a Segment who belongs to @theclusterx on Twitter/X !
Diary of Balthazar: Alchemy of New Encounters
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's (Dottore Segments) from Genshin Impact!
... Following one of the segments' fateful run in with Zaro several months prior, rumors began circulating across segment-operated labs.The whispers in their circles spoke of an artificial fairy whose body mutated thanks to an affinity for the ever-changing Irminsul. Something more akin to a creature, rather than an individual. Prime has been trickling information through the grapevine, and like any fast travelling gossip the stories became more ridiculous with each new story told. Some stories held that the fey could breathe fire, lift objects with its mind or that a drop of its venom could kill twenty Sumpter beasts.... Twenty what?All of a sudden, a powerful blast ripped a metal door out of its hinges. As the iron doors' mighty wings fell to the ground, a whimsical voice grew louder and louder, just beyond the wall of smoke."Hohoho! What's this about a powerful venom?? I could use something like that in my studies! What's a mad scientist without questionable extraplanar demonic extractions in his lab! hohoho!"He smiled atop the sundered door, his sinister grin shining from ear to ear. This was Segment Iota, and lab sized explosions were not an unusual event for him. Blackened walls, and flakes of ash stirred through the air as Iota tilted a flask containing remnants of a suspicious green liquid upside down, first licking it's opening and then rattling it next to his ear only to confirm it's all been spent.At first he seemed dissapointed, but then he tucked the glassware into his vest. Like a bolt of lightning, he jumped forward, leaving behind him a familiar scene of an alchemical experiment gone wrong. It's quite fine. He has a sizeable force of minions to do his bidding and cleaning. He cannot be bothered with paltry stuff, especially with such fantastical rumours abound! Iota knew that there was no time to waste. His resources were running low on supply (As a result of overly vigorous scientific testing, and nothing at all to do with an innocent desire to see things explode). When a dangerous adventure beckoned you to answer its call, Iota knew to answer back shouting. It's already been decided.--With a vigor rarely seen in Dottore segments, Iota grabbed the wings of his wardrobe, swinging them wide open.From there, he took out a comically large suitcase. He tossed it onto his bed and it opened with a snap. He was so deep in his wardrobe that his legs could be barely seen sticking outside. First he throws out meaningless clutter such as towels, blankets (Even his own clothes). Then he gets his hands on wrenches, sawsblades, needles. That wardrobe must be deep indeed! Without looking, Iota manages to fling them all right into the suitcase. Even some nonsensical objects that Iota deems absolutely necessary for the journey to Sumeru such as, the purple wind-up ballerina doll. With a swing of his arm, the toy also finds its place among the supplies. At some point, he pauses. He's looking at a crowbar. A rather sensible item. But says "nah" and throws it into the back, where he heard the yelp of an unfortunate Fatui soldier caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.Iota's minions have already gotten used to their master's adventurous whims. It wasn't the first time a box, a shovel or a knife came flying towards someone's head.As Prime had predicted, Iota was an excited and deeply curious segment who couldn't resist the lull of risky and dangerous enterprise. If presented with something interesting and new, he would take initiative.He smirked. No coaxing necessary. As for him, it would be an excellent way to gain more information without making direct contact. Segment Iota studied poisons and potent alchemical brews. His materials -must- include exotic items of all kind. Livers and viscera of adeptal beasts, and tears of beings thought to have been long extinct. A vial of poison, or a scraping of a fey creature's wing would feel right at home. It really doesn't get more special than a Harbinger whose clone has mutated himself to the point of becoming a monster. When such a unique opportunity hangs in the air, it must be seized with every limb available. Segments competed with each other in their scientific goals, and Iota will surely be proud to share some of his finds. And in the end, Prime will make sure that he is properly rewarded for his initiative.... Before departing for Sumeru, Iota was intercepted by Epsilon, who warned him against desire to go searching into the unknown. He informed him of unstoppable body transformations that led to Zaro's loss of cognition. That the creature he encountered that day posessed a devious, and fragmented mind. It's not something to be taken lightly. What he is about to meet is dangerous, unpredictable and it certainly isn't "fun". All giddy, Iota told him to relax, that "he's got it" (he pulled up his sleeve, and flexed his muscles at Epsilon to which the latter rolled his eyes). Iota reminded him that he is a Harbinger as well and that he's more than capable of protecting himself.--Iota took a detour through Fontaine, where he rounded up some soldiers and fellow researchers from the ranks of the Fatui. Promised with amazing treasures and being allowed to keep what they find, the researchers sign up eagerly for the adventure. Equipped with fabulous inventions and portable equipment, they make their way to the capital of Sumeru.In the following days, the trek into the nation's wildlands prove to be exhausting and dangerous. Their expedition was rarely left alone. Always attacked by wild animals and hilichurls, it felt as if the land almost didn't want them to be there. It was a superstitious belief and yet almost palpably true.Somewhere hidden in a domain, deep beneath the layers of dreams Zaro laid still in his chamber, submerged inside conductive fluid. He saw and heard all of the ridiculous rumors told about himself. He was angry, and that anger manifested through the climate that Iota's expedition had to bear.The Fatui who had to fend off the attacks from the wildlife were too busy to even consider that. When Iota and his underlings finally arrived to a suitable destination, they were so tired that they simply pass out. Stacked on top of each other like sardines. Iota leaped onto a massive fallen tree and stood with his feet wide open and his arms spread wide. He scanned the environment, looking for any points of interest. After taking out a dubious-looking scanner from Fontaine, he decided that this is the place. They will set up a temporary workshop, paired with objectives within the camp. The staff won't be idling by while the hunt for the renegade segment carries on."This is fieldwork, not vacation, get to work you worms!"- he croaked at the top of his lungs.--The camp was bustling with the Fatui Iota recruited, while he retreated to his tent to oversee the remaining preparations. He was ready for all sorts of contingents. Animal attacks, a sudden encounter with the Traveler- anything.It had all been neatly laid out on the map which he scribbled out with pencils (Colored ones, you're damned right). The scope of his preparation should not be underestimated because of it's jovial nature. Iota had the whole place under non-stop surveillance. Cleverly designed alarm systems from Fontaine were there to detect anyone or anything that isn't part of his team. Nothing could slip through his fingers.With the temporary camp set up and installations in full operation, some of the Fatui questioned Iota about the nature of this job. Meanwhile, Iota was carefully mixing poisons at his desk, looking at his minions through the flasks. He asked them what's wrong, bearing his usual smile: "Getting cold feet already, Anton?" he asked with such a mischevious tone it could be interpreted as mocking - "Not at all, Lord Harbringer we just..." - "We are on the cusp of finding something amazing!" (Iota interrupted him) "Think about it. Don't you want to bring a worthy trophy back to Snezhnaya? Something you could sell at an exorbitantly high price at the black markets in Fontaine?" (He grabbed the underling by their collar, and forced them to the table). "A wing, a feeler. A leg. That alone would be more worth than your meagre life. If you wish to be of actual use, quit pestering me. Or else" (He threw one of his flasks on the floor and the alchemical brew exploded in a glittering silvery smoke) Or else I'm throwing you into the furnace myself." - "Yes sir! Master, we never intended to slight you!" - "H-he means it my lord!" The other underling stepped up for his comrade. "Good" - Iota relaxed and pulled out his knuckles. "Now get to work, and don't come back until you have something for me to research!".Once outside, the underlings looked at eachother with worry: "It looks like the master is really not letting go of this one" - "No, he won't be. And by the look of things, we could end up here for months! Lets better hurry then. Not even the loss of limbs will excuse us... For the Harbingers!" The two salute each other and wander off.That is the last time they are seen.--
In the meantime, Iota was so gripped by his search that he started to forget his own basic needs.But there was no trace of the demonic insect and the difficulty of his task started to weigh heavily upon him. His prey escapes him as if teasing him for even daring to try.Iota cursed his luck and returned to the camp to work on another alchemical brew. Because of his frustration, it wasn't coming out quite as it should. But it already had a remarkably sweet, rotting smell. In the evening, Iota aired out his tent to get rid of the odour in question. His experiment has dissapointed him, but without even realizing, Iota has created something that subtly attracts sumeran bees- and other particularly large insects.Iota worked tirelessly through days and nights as his initial excitement about the hunt diminished. He stomped back and forth in his tent. It has been another exhausting day with no promise of adventure. In the midst of all this dissapointment, he failed to notice that his subordinates were going missing in alarming numbers. The segment was too busy with his pursuit to even notice until it became difficult to keep the workshop going.Only then he truly noticed how few of the Fatui were left. The tension in the camp became high. The soldiers were afraid of going to sleep. Something would snatch them in the night, or they would hear screams that they would go investigate... and then vanish just as well. The alarm systems weren't responding how they should have. Iota then realized that they were tampered with, but not how.In reality, Zaro had been sending confused Fatui back to camp after having planted them with fake memories.One of them was implanted with the objective to disarm camp security. To Zaro, it was a great sport to return confused underlings back to their master and eavesdrop on the confusion through the leylines, or watch them lose their way in the jungle and die. This was all possible because Iota was too busy. But even after realizing that his men kept getting captured and robbed of their free will Iota reacted unexpectedly.He was thrilled about the disaster.That same night, Iota stayed up late. It was an eerie night and he was hoping something would happen. The lights shone with full capacity, attracting blood sucking pests from nearby groves. He ordered his remaining staff to kill the lights and wait.Fearful and hesitant, his subordinates put out the last remaining flames while looking over their shoulders and listening for unusual moans of the wind. Nothing happened, as if his target could read his mind and plot ahead of him. Iota decided to turn in for the night, dimming the candle by his bed. But before the smoke could die out, two clawed fingers emerged from the darkness and closed the tiniest flame. It was Zaro.He looked at the sleeping Iota with a wide grin, his sharp mandibles sticking out of his mouth. The insect demon took a deep breath, sucking the putrid scent of Iota's failed alchemical brew into his lungs with great satisfaction.He was not here for Iota. He didn't care for the Segment, and avoiding his band of fools was easy.But the rotting, sweet flavour of his brews was an irresistible elixir for a monster like him. He just wanted its recipe. But he couldn't resist tampering with the Fatui who were stationed there. They were simply too... delectable. Sweet. They were practically begging to be killed.Despite initially avoiding contact, Zaro now felt comfortable enough to approach. After all, no soldiers or scientists would be there to stop him. He grinned with needle-like teeth. It was all mostly thanks to him, and 'somewhat' thanks to the horrors of the jungle. As for the few of the Fatui who remained, Zaro was well acquainted with what would happen to them next. Seemingly flowing out of the Harbinger's tent, his predatory eye fell on the unsuspecting soldier sitting guard beside it. He was tipping back and forth on his seat, on the verge of falling into slumber. Zaro has decided to toy with Iota's underlings some more, before returning to their master, invading his mind and robbing it of the alchemical recipe- and perhaps his remaining sanity as well.--Through the nauseating, restless sleep, Iota woke up in the middle of the night. The high humidity in the air made it hard for him to rest. He felt tired. As if he had a thousand dreams and dawn was nowhere near to come.He decided to walk out of his tent. And finally, on that last day he spotted a familiar figure in the camp.With an apparent state of calm all over and still in the process of waking up, Iota rubbed his sleepy eyes and approached. His first thought was that another segment followed him from afar. Surely here to demand something from him, or even mock him for his failures.He failed to notice that the remaining few soldiers laid in the grass as if struck dead or unconscious. He approached slowly until he saw the segment bring a flask of his brew to his lips. That immediately rattled him awake. It was a highly explosive hyper active Inazuman ore mixed with mercury and picric acid. A spill of a single drop could burn through a wooden table. Iota's eyes widened- but this segment unflinchingly gulped the glowing liquid with as if it was orange juice. As he drank, it sizzled the corners of his mouth. He let out a satisfied groan. Like a traveler walking through a desert being given a glass of water."I'm sssssorry." He hissed nonchalantly - "I helped myself to your thingssss, ke ke ke-" Iota quietly stared with his mouth open as Zaro's mandibles clicked with each laugh."Wow"- he whispered.He was almost ready to hand him another flask from his vest. Just to see what would happen.As light shone from Iota's lamp, the inhuman features of his visitor became more and more apparent (Despite his oh-so-clever human disguise). But, Iota was unable to see through the ruse because his mind had already been charmed. Zaro's single eye blinked at him. It was some biomechanical wonder, a joining of metal and sinew. Zaro stretched his clawed arm out towards Iota, demanding another flask. Thirsty for it. But then, Anton, the last remaining survivor of the camp, manically tugged on his master's shirt. Covered in blood and struck with panic he tried to shout Iota back to his senses before it was too late.
Anton: "Master!! Iota, damn it, can't you see that THING??"Zaro tilted his head and observed Anton intently, with a hint of mockery. He then chirped and agreed, to his horror. Meanwhile, Iota's eyes stopped at the visitor's chest, wondering where that sound was coming from. Is this... normal? - But his last remaining Fatui subordinate was so stubborn that he managed to break him out of passive stupor.Iota finally noticed that his unusual visitor is nearly three meters tall!! The monster's bones snapped as he reclaimed his true form. Iota's eyes opened wide as Zaro loomed over him, his back cracking beneath his cloak like the branches of an ancient tree.Four arms, and four legs sprout from his twisted body, smashing into the ground, with the fingers twitching independently of one another. Zaro lets out a guttural, ominous laugh. Anton runs away screaming-"I WILL NEVER WORK FOR DOTTORE SEGMENTS EVER AGAIN"Zaro: „Aren't you worried for your subordinate? hissss I know where he is headed. I know his type. They don't last very long in the jungle. Hurr hurr hurr hurr..." - His yellow tongue slid across his sharp, needle like teeth. "Not to worry. You will join them soon". His towering shadow rose over Iota. Iota chuckled to himself and admitted he's in danger. After a few seconds passed that felt like an eternity, and to Zaro's surprise- the segment took on a combat stance.He reached for one of the belts around his hips and took out a bomb. He acted on impulse, this was his most familiar course of action. When in danger- blow it all up! Zaro's face folded into an expression of anger and disgust. Before he could say anything, the entire camp lit up in flashes. It was like a New Years' celebration. Iota jumped out of the smoke and right onto Zaro's human shaped torso "I've always wanted to meet a spider-and-human crossbreed!" -he grabbed him by the face with joy. Zaro hissed- "I am not A DAMNED SPIDER!!" - his wings spread open in rage. Their droning buzz was enough to cause a headache. The monster's all too human indignation surprised Iota. "Hissssss... I was going to rob you of some of your knowledge. But it seems you must want to die by my hand instead."Zaro's body propped up for flight. Iota saw that he was about to leap. This was his only chance, and the decision had to be made quickly! - with incredible dexterity he scrambled to Zaro's back and held onto his carapace. Zaro roared with a surprisingly deep voice and launched himself off the ground with a deafening shockwave. The momentum of the jump was so intense that the Sumeran camp quickly became a small dot on the horizon. Iota didn't waste any time. He's come all this way, and god dammit he will have something to show for it. He reached his hand into Zaro's mouth, to the insect demon's surprise.... In response to the sudden maneouver, Zaro was so startled that he accidently took on his human form mid-air. Plunging both him and Iota to the ground.Miraculously, Iota has managed to capture some of his poison into a precious little vial. Zaro was forced to dart off while still hearing bombs being flung towards him from afar. He was so embarrassed by the encounter that he spent six full days cowering in his Garden, piecing together his pride.Iota proudly shook the vial on his way home. He returned with samples that will help him better manipulate the elements. Time to try out poisons laced with elemental energy! Satisfied, he headed straight to his lab and commenced with work. His research will now be ahead of the other Segments he was competing with. Mad chuckling could be heard from the depths of the lab- it seems our segment will be busy for a good amount of time to come. But whenever he hears a locust chirp, he instantly grows more wary, remembering how easily his last meeting could have gone wrong.︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
Notes:
- Segment Iota belongs to @DulcamaraMuck on Twitter/X ! Thank you for reading!! 🫶 🫶
Diary of Balthazar: A Troubled Oasis
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's (Dottore Segments) from Genshin Impact!
In Zaro's hidden corner of the world, trouble brews. Weeks following after his skirmish with Segment Iota, he still spends time recovering in his domain. This leaves him home-bound, and unable to tend to his Garden. For Zaro, this is a most heart-breaking situation. His serene lakes fill with amphibian monsters and dreaded parasitic vines cover what were once beds of beautiful, sweet smelling flowers.Well aware of what is happening, but forced to sit at home, Zaro observes his beautiful Garden descend into chaos.Once governed by order, it now became a nesting ground for vermin of all shapes and sizes. Helpless but also slightly intrigued, he watches nature grow even if it isn't developing in the way he wanted. He tried sending some of his courtiers to mend the situation- but they'd almost always get killed by the monsters who grew too big and too bold from being able to devour freely.Zaro just couldn't wait for his wings to heal faster, so he could get to fixing as soon as possible. This was a dire situation. His Garden cried out for its master's gentle touch. At the same time, on the other side of the world, there was another segment who also enjoyed the comforts that nature can offer. But his situation was far more ideal.His name was Kappa.--Far beyond the deserts of Sumeru, laid the vast expanses of Fontaine. A moderate climate and suitable living conditions create an inviting home for everyone. Swimming on his back freely in Fontaine's lower city waterways, our segment Kappa goes on with his day. He drifts along, letting the currents take him wherever they please. He has already explored every nook and cranny of this area. Since the day of his creation, Kappa was considered „a failed experiment“ by Prime (Just like Zaro), but this hasn't left him in despair. There was one big positive side to all of that - he wasn't burdened by the plots, or the intrigue that usually take place around Prime. He was left to pursue his own interests, with no one standing guard over him.He felt like the ocean: boundless, and free to touch every shore he wanted. For every adventure he enjoyed, three new ones would wait just around the corner. Kappa has already spent some time traveling the world. He was no stranger to flooded grasslands in Liyue, the tiny creeks of Mondstadt or the humid wetlands of Sumeru.The latter he missed the most. The sound of birdsong instead of the rumbling of metal. As much as he loved eavesdropping on the daily gossip about pending trials, and as much as the peculiar lives of those who lived in Fontaine interested him, he wanted to return to a place he knew to be most serene. Quiet. Without human disturbance. Kappa pondered how he could return- and the answer was not only obvious, but all around him. It was the water. He dove in, and within a week of travel through shortcuts only known to this segment, Kappa found himself in a familiar river bed close to the heart of Sumeru. It was a place with lots of food and good places to relax.... But something wasn't right this time around.Part of the area was diseased. Pustules clogging up waterways, piling up with corrupted water. Kappa began to investigate further and without knowing, accidentally ended up in Zaro's domain. The Garden was easy to access because it was falling apart.Kappa cleared out some of the dark pustules and as a result, water began flowing again, causing the nearby mills to start turning again. Zaro heard the noise in his Garden, his attention immediately drawn to the sound. Fed up with his world constantly changing, he charged out of his home despite his injuries. But when he arrived at the scene he was surprised.There was some damage and an unfamiliar segment right in the middle of his territory, but the area also seemed less... corrupted? Zaro stood with his mouth open as dark vines gave way to healthy blooms right in front of him.Always quick on the trigger, Zaro transformed into his monster form to intimidate Kappa and to match him in size and strength. „What is this nonssssense that I am looking at, exactly? And who are you? SSSSSPEAK! What are you after! Hmmm??“ – the massive insect leapt closer to the shore, careful not to touch the water. Kappa withdrew deeper within, to maintain a safe distance. He did a good thing and didn't understand why this strange monster was shouting at him. Actually, Kappa had no idea who Zaro was, or that this was his domain.The frustrated stamping of the insect's feet was a surprise to him like any other. Why is this silly bug angry with him?„Did you missssshear me? I asked you a question-“ Zaro hissed through his needle-like teeth.In the meantime, Kappa sat in the water in front of him, his mouth submerged as he blew bubbles to the surface. He was watching Zaro with a great level of attention. Kappa is shy and he normally doesn't speak a lot. In this current situation he only gave Zaro short, single word responses that confused him even more. With a gurgly voice, he said: „Kappa only came to a golden swamp, it's warm! Kappa likes it. He will share fish with you! (gurgle) I am Kappa, by the way...“He quickly dove beneath the surface, returning with a fish between his teeth. He continued mumbling something while holding it in his mouth, and Zaro watched with indignation as the rogue segment offered his own property as a gift to him. His eye twitched.Nevertheless, somewhat pleased, he responded- „Do you even know where you are, boy?“Kappa angled his head in confusion. He looked at the insect, pondering his question. At the same time, Zaro tried reading his mind and saw what Kappa said is all there is to it. This "invader" was just a gecko without ulterior motives. His mind was simple and unburdened by the things Zaro expected to find. But, Zaro didn't like finding out that Kappa planned to stay in the Garden.--Even if Kappa only wanted to fish in the domain's lakes. Zaro was a 300 year old grouchy segment who didn't want to have any neighbours. He disliked the idea of „changing himself“ or „changing his way of thinking“ which meant there was only one possible outcome.„It'sssss time for you to go. Monster or not, you are still a ssssegment. You don't get to reach my domain and roam around asssss you please. I have no more patience to deal with incidents, and you are dismissssssed- whoever you are!“Unfortunately, Kappa stopped paying attention to Zaro's words somewhere around „It's time for you to go“. He gazed at the insect as if he didn't understand a word that came from his fanged lips, or (More likely) as if none of that concerned him. Instead he thought about how Zaro was a bug. Quite a big one Kappa thought almost mournfully how he'd never be able to eat him.Zaro's eye squinted in a way that indicates confusion. He was reading some strange signals from Kappa, more closer to instinct than thinking. Then suddenly, Kappa stuck his tongue to Zaro's face like a chameleon (!?). The bug flinched and a moment of awkward pause passed between them. „How highly inappropriate....“ Zaro wiped the spit out of his eye, which started to glitch. With a shaky hand of anger brimming on the edge of explosion, (no doubt) Zaro slowly opened his fist, and firmly grabbed Kappa's tongue. „DO I LOOK LIKE A ******* FLY TO YOU?? out, OUT!!“- with a jerk of his hand, he somehow managed to whip Kappa out of the water. Surprised but ready for combat, Kappa swiftly dodged Zaro's further attempts to grab him. It was monster versus monster- and one of them was wounded. Kappa shows him the tongue again but this time playfully.This sets Zaro off. It was like a wasp trying to catch a fish. Kappa was nimble in the water and elusive to grab. After a few seconds of excitement, Zaro suddenly couldn't find Kappa anywhere. He felt tired, and angry. He stumbled back into the depths of his domain, swearing that he'll find Kappa and throw him out from where he doesn't belong. He wondered where this troublemaker went, without realizing he was on his back the entire time! (He was sticking to him like a gecko). Kappa slinked off at some point and continued investigating Zaro's domain at his leisure. This area was wonderful and soothing. Kappa really liked the nature here. It was a compliment to Zaro's 'gardening', if he was willing to take any.The latter went home, slamming the doors behind him.--... On the first day, Kappa was fishing. He put together some lines he carried from Fontaine and suitable sticks and then indulged in the relaxing activity. He caught lots of different and interesting looking fish.
They had fins that resembled the wings of a faerie, and very elegant looking bodies. They came in all sorts of colors. They were delicious. After Kappa finished licking his fingers from clearing out Zaro's pond of prized fish pool, he moved on to eating berries. On the second day, he ate so many of them that their ink-like juice painted his face.He drank nectar from a strange looking rock, and on the third day he experienced dreams that felt like they lasted for months where he experienced the lives of other people. From the ears of a sumeran Scholar from three hundred years ago, he learned about the fallen kingdom of Al-Ahmar. He tried cooking as well. He boiled some of the lesser monsters in a hot spring (These lessers being Zaro's courtiers who were charged with Garden maintenance) and tried making some of his own dishes in a tin cooking pot he had on his person.On the fourth day, he ran into some dangerous looking monsters. These were the aberrations that grew and fed freely in Zaro's absence, becoming true menaces in the process. They were fiery and their touch crackled with painful heat. They were difficult opponents to fight and they were especially dangerous for Kappa's slimy, wet skin. But he managed to defeat them regardless. When driven into a corner, Kappa could also become a formidable monster. He ended up taking a weapon that the creatures imbued with fire from their bellies. He used that to clear the other toxic pustules that plagued the Garden. Slowly but surely, in an effort to make the area more comfortable for himself, Kappa was also helping Zaro's cause.When the climate in the Garden turned frigid, Kappa could use the weapon he pillaged from the Aberrations to keep himself warm. Despite that he couldn't truly understand the works beneath this strange dream world, he thought the realm was cool all the same. Especially the abstract moving sky that looked like crystalline lights flowing around like oil spills. On good days it was pink and green, and when it rained the artificial sky looked like purple cotton and wool that spun endlessly into the heights above. Though, there are definitely some fruits he won't be eating anymore and some places where he won't drop his guard. Zaro would have normally warned against some of these dangers, but Kappa was still a stowaway in this area and was left on his own to figure out what's safe and what isn't.--Back home, Zaro tapped his clawed hand on a cage containing a trapped Aranara. He spoke to himself: „(Sigh) I know. You're right-“ (The Aranara didn't reply, it was just Zaro talking to himself) – „It's not bad that he's here. And, for the first time in so many decades, another pair of eyes beholds the Garden.""It's the domain I worked on for so very long. My. Garden. You wouldn't get it.“- He sighed and turned around – „And yet, why do I let him run free? On some days I think I don't understand myself at all (His claws sunk deeper into the cage, dangerously close to the Aranara) ...at least I have you“- he placed the Aranara's cage back on a nightstand. The fairy would probably want to cuss him out for keeping it trapped like that, but Zaro liked to pretend that they were friends. He couldn't understand their language anyway. He flexed his newly made wing, still a bit tender to the touch and stared outside the window. He said: „Perhaps there will be a chance for first impressions a second time“ – Then he flew out the window to look for Kappa. This time not to evict him, but to thank him.On his way, he found traces that pointed him in Kappa's direction. Old monster traps have been tripped, and broken nets lie discarded everywhere. He also found a cooking pot with remains of his courtiers left inside. „So that's whats been happening to my servants“ His eye folded into a tired, but knowing expression as he shook his head.In the meantime, Kappa swam around in a nearby pond, blowing water through his lips as if he were a little fountain. Without the monsters, it was incredibly peaceful here, like nowhere else in the world. Probably because it was „nowhere“! This place of true calm and serenity existed in a separate pocket in space made to house thousands of unique specimens and mutations, all permitted to roam freely and benefit from its ecology. It beckons you to let go of your worries and admire it. And Kappa listened. He felt like the sonorous energy of this place could keep even the most fiery person calm enough to be able to focus and work (Perhaps that was its hidden purpose?).On the fifth day, Kappa was so overfed and exhausted from adventuring that he fell unconscious under an orchard tree.A calm voice appeared from the back: "There you are"Zaro flew over Kappa, landing on the ground with his heavy body. His wings fluttered, betraying his positive disposition. Kappa, remembering his first encounter tried to crawl away from Zaro and make some distance but he was too full and it's too hard to move. Zaro intertwined his four arms behind his back like an old man, and he looked up at the tree canopy above Kappa.„You would have known that this tree saps your energy, if I told you.“- There was almost a hint of remorse in his voice. „I saw you making yourself welcome to my things and, not being prone to sharing, I allowed my petty grievances to get the best of me. I'm here now and I'm ready to tender my sincere apology“.Zaro placed one of his hands on his chest in a gesture of honesty. But for multiple reasons, Kappa didn't really understand him. Zaro sighed and frowned, moving closer to Kappa who kept trying to get away at a comically slow speed. He stopped him from moving altogether by stepping on his tail to hold him in place.„If I knew you were going to be such a pain... Ugh, you're really going to make me say it, aren't you?“ They eyed each other quietly. Then Zaro leaned down „....You did a good job. Thank you.“ Kappa smiled at him. The giant insect quickly removed his foot and straightened his back. He coughed into his hand with pride and continued speaking: „Thanks to your wanderings, you've actually done a lot of good to this realm. It was in desperate need of cleaning up. You destroyed the pests that stirred chaos in my garden. That is commendable and warrants an award“ His wings fluttered as he spoke: „You are free to pick the fruits from a layer of the dream that I've shared to none (He smiled). These are the direct products of the Irminsul. They will endow you with memories, intelligence or power of another. No death is untouched by the celestial tree.“ Though Kappa didn't seem to care much for the reward Zaro described. Zaro seemed surprised, if even a bit deflated: „Fine. Nevermind that. You may.. (Sigh) come to parts of the Garden whenever you want“. Now this his elicited a much happier reaction from Kappa, who, all this time just wanted a nice swamp to relax in. His journey was concluded in a way that he could be satisfied. Only one thing- Zaro turns before leaving.... With a sassy wave of his finger in disapproval, Zaro said: "No more cooking"He could deal with Iota's poisinous brews (Even though they burn organic matter in contact) but he absolutely couldn't deal with whatever manifested in Kappa's cooking pot. That was an act of heresy in it's own right, and somehow comically right in the way a Dottore segment should be.--In the end, Zaro was thankful for Kappa's help in restoring the balance of his garden, even though both of them had to compromise. It helped Zaro come around to the idea that just because someone is after a goal of their own it doesn't mean that it has to come at his expense. Zaro was secretly proud that he's found someone who likes his garden. Under that fiery tempest was a desire to witness other lives. He threw some fruit towards Kappa as a gift and Kappa snatched it mid-air with his tongue. „I wish you interesting future adventures, ke ke ke“ And then he vanished, presumably to continue working on his Garden. This time, Prime was left with nothing. Because Kappa was also a free segment, and after abandoning him as a "failed experiment" he could no longer profit from his adventures.︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
Notes:
- Segment Kappa belongs to @itschalkk on Twitter/X ! Thank you so much for reading!! 🤗
Diary of Balthazar: Even Insects can Dream
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's (Dottore Segments) from Genshin Impact!
Zaro reflected on his long life in the domain he created, thoughts of self-affirmation echoing through his mind. It's something of a lonely sight, with the monster Segment sitting quietly with his many limbs intertwined like the branches of the elder tree. But he doesn't need to move. There's a curious looking drink held in his unnatural hands. It's a "dream-brew", crafted from the fruits unique to the realm of dreams. With each sip taken, Zaro was less here, his thoughts weaving themselves together with the power of the Irminsul. His mind freed itself of his heavy body and he felt his way through the world. He soon flew across the Garden, his wings droning above lush canopies of leaves. He was looking for anything out of the ordinary, carefully patrolling the border of his realm and returning wayward visitors to their home.Ever since he restored balance to the Garden by culling out monsters who threatened to destroy it, Zaro has been acting with increased prudence.The insect Segment has been on the lookout for any leyline disturbances or "tears" that might lead more unsuspecting creatures into his domain. There exists a thin line where the life in this realm collides with the real world.It's a place where lush grasses fade into ether, and where creatures of flesh and blood seemingly lose their way forever.But just beyond this point, life in reality waited for those who were strong enough to take on its burdens. Zaro would often don a disguise just to pay a visit to their world, appearing as a "guest". It was a place he could always see through the eyes of sleeping humans. A place bound by the logic and workings of something that has been more foreign to him than any other segment. The Garden on the other hand, was a place for outcasts who belonged nowhere else. It was a home for oddities and freaks abandoned by the world. Just like him, they were the ones who would always be embraced by this realm while everyone else felt pushed back into the waking world. As he flew through the sky, Zaro was intercepted by a tittering feeling. The sensitive energy threads that are spread all throughout his Garden vibrated. Like a spider's web being disturbed by a struggling moth...The ripples of psychic energy drew Zaro's attention. The insect rushed tp the source only to find a party of fallen researchers and a young boy writhing in painful sleep.Covered with sweat and with an erratic breath, the child mumbled deliriously. It was his life force that Zaro must have felt, for the others around him seem to have passed away from painful nightmares.He descended to get a closer look, his limbs quickly forming a cage around the boy. He soon spots a "Sudri" off to the side, with many bites taken into it. It was the same kind of fruit he uses to create the dream-brew that lets him detach himself from his body. It's effects on the child are clear as he's fallen into a comatose state. Without being a native to the realm, the powerful effect of the fruit would corrode his mind and absorb it into the realm as mere "input". In other words, the Garden has begun to assimilate him.If measures are not taken, the boy will surely die. Zaro paused for a moment. This party must have been lost for a while. They could have been wandering for hours and it would have felt like weeks worth of exhaustion. The energy of the Irminsul is especially powerful here, causing many of these anomalies. There is no way a normal human would survive. Zaro squinted his eyes at the boy - "How... was this one different? What was so special about him?" His scent was familiar, but if he leaves him exhausted and poisoned for long he will never find out why.The monstrous insect realized that to reveal further answers, he will have to summon "his true body" to the area. Because of the overwhelming pressure and his curiosity, he became determined to save the boy.Trying to more accurately determine his state, he hovered his clawed hand above the boy's head. He sensed the clear effects of "Tatarigami"- a curse native to the islands of Inazuma. But he was unable to read his thoughts or see what the fruit was making him dream. Because of the child's exhaustion, the effect of two poisons was even more powerful. Zaro opened his fist to reveal razor sharp claws with a thin coating of special venom. There was no other choice but to perform surgery now that the other options have been exhausted.--An hour into the operation, the boy began to wake. His consciousness came together, but his mind couldn't describe what his eyes see.A giant insect stood above him, its many legs forming a cage all around. Impossible. Sabi's eyes widened in terror. He thought he was still dreaming, trapped in some nightmarish scenario with no end in sight. The insect's head twitched, quickly changing angles as it observed him. Its single red eye glowed in the dark, shedding red light onto his body. He thought that his chest cavity was open... but he had no way of confirming it. The special electro-ghost that manifests as his ability, and the voices of many Segments screamed inside of him with a thundering roar.They urged him to flee. But the boy couldn't move. He couldn't even lift his hand. It was like a paralyzing venom has spread through his body. Something used to pacify its victim before digesting it. This young man, who will be known as Sabi has felt like prey.He tried to glean as much information as possible in this dark mist, relying only on his limited sight and hearing. He heard "the doctor's" quiet laugh, and the grotesque clicking of limbs as his multiple arms perform different operations independently.His nausea and drowsiness made it hard for him to think. And yet, floating in momentary madness a part of him felt overwhelming admiration... for this unknown and terrifying creature - "Is this... a Segment? What happened to it?" Sabi's winced at the next jolt of headache. Then a voice at him from the dark. A raspy, coarse voice with a somewhat fruity tone-"Wish you could run now, little one? But where would you go? Ke ke ke!! You don't even know how lost you are!"In response, Sabi's lips barely formed a question for the looming monster in the dark: "You... have you... done... this... to me?" - a moment of silence passed before the creature answered him. A sharp grin appeared on its face, revealing rows of needle-like teeth. Sabi then hears a "snap" as if the creature just broke something inside of him... then, it started talking - "My mind often fails me. But not today. Kssss... This was all you, my little friend. I am a symptom, you are the cause! Ke ke ke!" - the monster giggled to itself - "...Eating poisoned fruit and getting lost where you don't belong? What a naughty child!".Hearing the monster's words, Sabi tried to recall how he got there and why. He remembered another Segment giving him orders to accompany an observation team as a medic, thanks to his special healing abilities.Then the team got caught up in a powerful ley line disorder, and ended up stranded in this seemingly endless forest. But who? Who was it that sent him? It was physically painful to try and remember. With what little strength he had, Sabi tried to collect himself and clear his mind. The effects of the dream-fruit's poison were slowly starting to abate, and Sabi was determined to find the culprit for this miserable turn of events. Then, a sharp flash cut through his mind and his eyes became frozen in shock. He remembered the Omega segment talking to him, issuing him with the order. It was Prime! -The strange markings on Sabi's body began pulsating slowly, as if only now his body had truly begun to wake.The monstrous insect took notice. Despite being an accomplished scientist, it didn't know what to make of it. It's eye focused on the boy, not realizing that this dying child would soon renew his dormant anger. Zaro called onto his dream-diving ability again and tried peering into Sabi's mind. There were many voices in his head and Zaro recognizes the Segments. They were discussing mundane, irrelevant things.But soon, he recognized a particular voice. A stoic and arrogant voice that could belong to no one else but his creator."My little fairy. Have I found you?"Just as soon as Sabi managed to fully regain his consciousness, the Prime Segment took over his body, controlling him from a distance. A devilish smile appeared on his lips, clearly not belonging to the boy himself. He grabbed the insect's leg. The jovial monster's expression changed from neutral to angry and it fled from Sabi, skittering backwards with its many legs. The Prime Segment sat up. He took over the boy's vision and tried looking through his eyes. But it was too dark. From the corner of the lab, Zaro watched coldly as the possessed Sabi flailed on the surgery table.He recognized Prime's facial expressions, his manners, his gaze- empty and inhumane.After spending so many years in relative peace, he was now facing his own nightmare.--Having enough of it, Zaro swiftly drove a needle into Sabi's neck collar. He infused it with a tranquilizer that quickly brought the boy peace, banishing Prime from his body.Like a drowning victim who had just been saved, Sabi took a desperate breath and relaxed. Free from Prime Dottore's control, his hand found Zaro's leg again, tightening around it like an animal asking for help. His eyes welled up with tears and he stared into the dark ceiling, feeling his body become numb again.Zaro quietly stood above, unsure what to with him. He was planning to release him back into the waking world, but now he found himself wanting to provide shelter. Was it empathy, curiosity, or desire for a rebellion?Zaro leaned towards the boy and tapped his head with his claw a few times, as if he was an object.Sabi's eyes turned towards him. „Why don't you stay and work for me for a while as an assistant? To pay me off for all the trouble you have caused. You will tell me when you wake. Now... Sweet dreams...“ And the next thing Sabi sees is a drape being drawn over him. The cool sheet touched his face. Soon, he faded into restful sleep. For the first time in many years, Sabi experienced a peaceful night's rest. Ever since that surgery he has been unable to hear the voices of the other Segments. Feeling his neck, he noticed that his collar was gone. Only sore spots were left in the places where spikes used to be... This collar was but one of the many ways that Prime used to control him. Zaro must have taken it off to tinker with it. Feeling vulnerable, he quickly pulled up his shirt, and even though no one was around his face became red.--Meanwhile, somewhere at an undisclosed location the Omega Segment sat in his chair. He was agitated that he couldn't properly take control of his vassal. In similar situations, he could have destroyed Sabi from a distance just as he previously did with some of his Segments in Sumeru.He briefly smiled - "It must be the Garden. It's interfering".His Sabi was now like a puppet whose strings have been cut. Since Sabi was still out there, Prime couldn't force his consciousness to move into another body. The Segment turned around in his chair: "Its ability to weaken my power, It's interesting. It seems I have learned another new thing today." He gave a quiet and typically ominous laugh. "Perhaps there are reasonable grounds for this sacrifice. However... I fear I've lost a tool that I could have sharpened to perfection. What a waste." Prime recalled the efforts made with Sabimaru to turn him into a perfect tool. The boy was supposed to be someone who could never fail him and who would be as loyal as possible. A being of perfect focus. To this end, he has been twisting the corruption inside his body to the maximum- destroying his humanity in the process, so that he could be directed into the endless pursuit for knowledge without restraint or failure.
Elsewhere, The giant insect let himself in through the door and Sabi flinched, seeing Zaro's full form in broad daylight (or the closest thing that passes for "daytime" in the convoluted space of the Garden).The monster now fully introduced itself to his patient- and then commented on his unusually calm demeanor. Sabi smiled faintly, lowering his head and rubbing the temples of his forehead from feeling the lingering effects of the doctor's "anesthetic". He said: "I'm far more curious about your experiments than my own health. Knowledge is the only thing I care for."The insect agreed, and giggled insanely in response: "Mm. It seems we share something similar."But then he added with a somewhat intimidating tone: "While you're here, I expect you to help me find sssssuitable test subjects. You won't be eating here for free!" (His wings tittered as his voice grew with excitement) I'm talking about human tessssst subjects. From the waking world!" - Zaro leaned in on Sabi, seeing if his words will elicit a reaction from the boy - "I understand. I won't fail you". In response to his words, Zaro almost seemed disappointed. His enthusiasm of a mad scientist deflating like a balloon. "Sssssheesh. Thisss kid". He crossed his four arms on his chest.He knew that look in his eyes from before. The eyes of a person who lives for nothing but their work - "What a bore... But come to think of... Thisssss child didn't dream while sssleeping. How unusual... And he was not from Ssssumeru!". Moreover, Zaro noticed that Sabi spoke of himself like some kind of machine even though he was a person. Zaro tilted his head and poked the boy's cat-like ears. "Prime really did a good number on you, huh kid?". He wondered if the child was trained to behave in this way so he could follow Omega's orders. Displeased, his single eye narrowed towards Sabi. This carried him to his next thought, and a devilish grin appeared on his lips. He could undo Prime's work. A bit of feyish mischief. Helping this boy could be seen as an act of rebellion.--As time goes by, the duo quickly becomes known as the assistant with a black gaze- and the doctor who does not seem human.Often, they'd venture out of the Garden in pursuit of new knowledge and sometimes to hunt for potential test subjects. Because of Sabi's pleasant human appearance travelers were eager to trust him. Their eyes were more on him than Zaro's bent body. Eventually Sabi has become accustomed to helping the doctor, even taking part in his gruesome side-activities. One such event took place as Sabi was seen mopping a tiled floor. He wiped the sweat off his forehead and looked to the side where Zaro's shadow could be seen, changing into "human" shape from his monstrous form.Normally you would guess this was a scene from an operation, or an experiment. The floor being littered with blood and various monster body parts. But instead this was an event of Zaro "feeding". Placing his human hand on Sabi's shoulder, he came closer to say that he enjoyed his meal, adding that "Sabi has a strong stomach" for being willing to stick around and watch. Sabi laughed endearingly in response and said that he thought his appetite was amusing. But suddenly, his lingering smile lost its warmth and his expression became pained. He took a long pause, just standing there. Something was on his mind. He remembered how much he missed the domestic things that people usually take too much for granted.The world outside of dark, cramped laboratories. He missed the family he had before meeting any of the Segments, before the Tatarigami within his body was used to subdue him. He missed his real home, and his mom's cooking, and the lively conversations around the family table. The loss of Prime's influence allowed these memories to bubble up from the abyss. Sabi's grip tightened around the handle with a screech from his surgical gloves. There was a dissonance between his relationship with Zaro and the rest of the Segments. He wanted to be of use to his newfound mentor and didn't want to disclose his secrets to Prime. But at the same time, he wouldn't betray the other Segments because they were his current "home". When this was all finished, he'd have a place with the Fatui to return to.But his secret wish was always that he'd somehow find a way to get rid of the disease once and for all, and go back to the way things used to be. Something that was "normal".His thoughts were at a stark contrast with the environment that surrounded him. He was all alone, standing in the midst of a pool of blood with a monster in human disguise patting him on the shoulder. "When did everything go so horribly wrong?" - "You know..."- Noticing that his assistant suddenly went quiet, Zaro tried talking to him. His raspy voice snapped Sabi back to the present: "I've been enjoying our conversations for a while now. The monsters are much less interesting to talk to. I should actually thank you- I'm not as bored as I used to be. The ton of information about Inazuma you have dumped on me, heh. I couldn't have learned all that simply by spying on people's dreams" - He gestured with his many arms:"Why don't I offer you something as a gift? For an example, I don't know...
I could cure you.""Do you accept?" swiftly and without sound Zaro now stood inches away from Sabi's face. His usual, terrifying inhuman presence radiating from within.Sabi stood shocked, the mop falling out of his hands into the bloody mess below. For the first time he heard the word "cure" in the context of an offer to help him. He didn't expect to hear this from anyone, especially a Segment of Dottore. Like a child grabbing its parents hands Sabi instinctively took Zaro's claws. His stronger emotions waking up as if they had been in a long slumber. It's been a long time since Sabi's soul was filled with such warm feelings. It was like taking a break from all his recent emptiness. "Thank you"- he uttered his grattitude towards the monster, and leaned onto his chest quickly covering it with tears."But wait"- Sabi moved away, wiping his face- "What do you want in return?" - "Oh, I just wanted to pisssss off the old guy". And this much was true. More than anything, pixies love their mischief. Zaro's motives were to study Sabi and to deprive Prime of a valuable asset. But somewhere deeper, Zaro felt a sense of empathy towards the young boy, having also been a test subject himself. Ever since he made that promise, Zaro noticed that Sabi was doing more than what was asked of him. He was even dusting off Zaro's old lairs (Which didn't make a lot of sense because an insect like him enjoyed keeping his living quarters filthy. He'd always return the junk even after Sabi threw it outside, including severed heads of his previous meals).Sabi even tried bringing Zaro "food" in the form of tied-up creatures after observing his feeding patterns. Zaro burst into a shrieking laughter, asking the young man what on Teyvat he was doing. Shyly and with some reserve, Sabi replied that he "just wanted to fit in".It was true. After spending several months in his company, Sabi had begun to look more like a wild creature than a lab assistant. With bruises all over and a messy hair full of thorns and twigs. While the tied-up monster muffled through the gag in its mouth in panic, Zaro calmly started taking the clutter out of Sabi's hair with precise movements of his claws. "Hmm. Let me guesssss, you must have been hunting in the dangerous placessss. Correct? (sigh) You've probably already gotten lost once or twice now... What do I do with you?" (The monstrous insect tilted its head) - "Would you like to learn more about thisssss place?" - Sabi's eyes sparked up with curiosity, and he drew closer to Zaro, practically pushing against his mentor "Yeees, please!" - "I see. Well, there's a natural order in this Garden. The inhabitantsss here have their own ssssocietal rules, but not like anything you people from outside have seen (Zaro waved his finger in front of his nose with an apparent pride) there are places where the monsssters are sssentient, tolerating each other's presssence without killing. There are areas that are treated as hunting groundssss, belonging to monssters that huddled together into clansss... They even permit the lessss-intelligent but more powerful creatures to hunt there, so they can sssate their hunger without going after their hosts. The livessss they lead are incredibly interesting. I love ssseeing them grow, but I love watching them sssstruggle just as well! I want to create more "life". In a way, I view myself like their father. Just like humansss, monsssters are amazing. They need someone to save them from the outssside world."Sabi observed his mentor with a newfound understanding. On one hand, Zaro creates a dangerous world that knows no mercy. But at the same time he seemed full of unexpected energy to look after these creatures. He cared for this place however strangely he expressed that love. Recalling his treatment by the other segments, Sabi's thoughts turned inward again. He was rarely seen as anything more than a mechanism for performing certain tasks. This way of viewing things was an unusual and refreshing experience. He wanted to ask a thousand questions. But one in particular, was on his mind.Feeling bold enough to ask, Sabi steeled himself and looked up at his crooked mentor."Can I have a map of the Garden?"Zaro stared at him briefly as if stunned. He then flicked the child on his head, calling him out: "Fool! What would you usssse that knowledge for? To get yourssself killed? (He didn't even consider that Sabi might betray him) The only reassson you are here was to repay your debt." His claws furled in anger, but his expression betrayed that he felt anxious. It wasn't just that he didn't want to lose an assistant- by now, he started feeling responsible for the boy. He didn't want him to get hurt.Then, he pushed his finger further into Sabi's forehead, adding: "And don't you dare sssneak around to collect the monster's materialsss either!" Despite his shouting, Sabi didn't seem to understand the reason for his mentor's frustration.
"You know... if I died, you could always bring me back" - Zaro's wings tittered, and he'd gone quiet, boring a stare into the child. He didn't know what to say about his lack of regard for his own life. "You need to care for your life. How do I teach you that?"He scratched his head. Sabi lowered his gaze, feeling that he may have been too pushy with his mentor, not truly understanding the cause of his annoyance. Zaro grumbled like an old man. He still wanted to appease his child, even though he couldn't agree with it. He turned his back on Sabi and began rummaging through some cupboards as if looking for something. He took out an old, empty scroll and started drawing something from memory, dipping his claws into an inkwell of monster blood.Curious, Sabi came closer and tried to peek over the monster's shoulders but he was too short to see anything. "Ksss. There." Zaro turned towards Sabi, letting the scroll unfold. "Now, you can have thissss. But, I have a new order for you. Guard that preciousss life of yours. If not for your sssake, then for my peace of mind. Bringing thingsss from the dead isn't a fun sport. Break this promissse and I will leave you for dead". He shot Sabi with a penetrating cold stare, hoping that the boy would take him more seriously. But he became disarmed, seeing that Sabi's eyes only sparkled with joy with no regard whatsoever for his warnings.He painfully rubbed the temples of his forehead- "Anyway... I won't be adding any detailsss to your map. You don't need them, underssstand? The Garden is ever changing, just like "dreamsss" of people. Eventually, these areasss will disssappear. By then I hope you will have ssated your curiosity". Sabi looked up to Zaro with utmost admiration and jumped into the monster's arms, hugging him by his spiky shoulders with a wide smile. "Could you teach me to feel the garden?" - Beyond what Sabi could see, Zaro's expression became cold. For a moment, he went silent. "No." he added "That would require you to be like me." The grip from his claws strengthened, as if he had just remembered something he didn't want to.Later, Zaro had much to process from his recent choices. For hundreds of years, he was easily reading people's dreams with the help of Ley lines, but all it ever did was break his heart. Now he was about to do it to himself again.Despite that it was a long time since he began empathizing with humans (Thanks to their dreams) Zaro always thought he "claimed becoming a monster". He thought that doing so would give him the strength he needed to carry on.It helped him deal with his hunger, and a bloated body that was alive and aware non-stop on all the wrong places. It helped him deal with a mind that shuts off in favor of instinct at worst possible times, but it couldn't help him when being directly responsible for another life. For something so fragile and weak in comparison to the other creatures that lived around him. This became a great burden to him, but the attachment made him want to try endure it."In time, that child will wake up. But, was it my fault for giving him this fantasy?"--In the meantime, Sabi was enjoying his venture through the Garden. Just holding the map made him tremble with excitement. He was a lot like a Melusine in the way that he could see things differently. Sabi could see the "essence" beyond the outward look of things and he always felt drawn to investigate. The things that people would find vicious, scary or creepy always gave him a sort of comfort. That's why he wanted to observe the other monsters that lived in the Garden. Not just because he wanted to learn more about them, but also because he genuinely liked them.The ongoing creation of Zaro's monsters wasn't just depravity at work. It made sense. And to the old monster, this idea must have been romantic in a way. Unfortunately, Sabi's curiosity and perhaps overconfidence, had him stepping outside the path drawn by his mentor.A desire just to see a little more made him cross paths with a towering monstrosity. This hulking giant, a chimaera of three different creatures no less, saw him from miles away and raced to catch up to the boy. It moved at a speed that should have been impossible for its size and weight. Sabi tried returning back to his original course, but the monster kept pacing behind him. At first it seemed to let Sabi go. But the boy couldn't help but notice that by now, the creature was well away from it's own territory.It was hunting him.Sabi's pace quickened, and he felt panic start to take root in his mind. This wasn't good, but in the very least he was hoping his healing capabilities would help him stay alive. But what if the monster devoured him entirely? What if the monster learned he could regenerate? He'd never see Zaro again. He summoned the electro ghost to divert the chimaera's attention but to no avail. The giant easily tore through his manifestation and began stomping towards its prey like a mad bull. Was this the price of curiosity? Once up close, Sabi could see the full glory of creature about to award him death. It was muscular and well shaped, with almost a sense of aesthetic to its bizarre mutations. Its skin was covered with thin, velvet-like fur and its face bore the eyes of an arachnid. It was truly interesting, just for a moment, before it's curled teeth were upon Sabi. But he wasn't going to simply resign to fate either. He fought back even though the encounter left him crippled and bleeding. Though he emerged victorious in the end, Sabi couldn't be more thankful that his abilities were based on healing.As soon as he could walk, Sabi rushed towards Zaro's lab, bursting through his door. He felt delighted to tell him what he saw. The first things Zaro noticed were the grievous wounds sizzling with the power of electro. The greeting from his side was a sour one. Even though he gave the child a map, Zaro realized that the Garden would always be a dangerous place for him. Despite that he could stomach to watch the other monsters rip each other to shreds, he always knew that Sabi wasn't a native. He knew that all it would take was a moment of inattention, and some monster would snatch the boy away.Zaro reached out his hand and as Sabi thought he was about to smack him on the head (Or reprimand him) his hand landed on his head softly and gave him a pat instead. But as Zaro stroked his head, Sabimaru smiled and grabbed his clawed hand and used it to pet himself in a more lively manner. Zaro was surprised and smiled briefly. This make-believe family maybe wasn't so bad after all. "Pretending" was also a part of the human experience. And in the Garden anything is possible, because even the insects can dream.--Feeling bad about his decision of giving the boy a map, Zaro has decided to allow Sabi to accompany him on this outing. He wasn't ready to let him go alone again. But it never occurred to him that -he- could be the next biggest threat to his assistant.With the dawn of a new day, the two were getting ready to set out. Zaro wanted to have Sabi close because he felt anxious about what happened earlier. The boy would stand aside and watch him perform surgery, taking notes. Their patient was a monster said to be suffering from the corruption of Ley lines from the Abyss. Knowing such pain, Zaro wanted to get on quickly and relieve the creature of its suffering. The process was long and arduous, and Sabi could see that Zaro was having difficulty so he offered his help. He did his best to assist, but the surgery does not go as intended. The two commit a fatal error and the creature becomes enraged, fueled by dark, numbing power.The creature leaped at Zaro, bleeding toxic liquid from its wound and pinning him against a wall. Sabi can do nothing but helplessly try to pry the creature away from his master.Even his electro ghost appears, trying to help him in this endeavor. As Zaro became more wounded, his rage intensified. He entered a primal state and forced an intense psionic backlash. It was powerful enough to kill the lights in the lab and cause Sabi to pull back and grab himself by his head, reeling from a screeching sound in his ears. Within moments, whatever sentience he had was gone and he became a beast fighting for its life.Sabi could see that Zaro was thoroughly bitten, his limbs limping behind him. He hardened his four arms and drove them into the creature's body, killing it on the spot. His opponent was dead but he was unable to do anything about his thirst for violence that kept him alive.He became just like the chimaera that injured Sabi the other day. Sabi tried calling him to his senses, but Zaro easily attacked him instead. There was a cracking sound- and Sabi's vision went dark. Slowly regenerating at the brink of death- Sabi clung to his rampaging mentor, trying to calm and restrain him. Now he fully understood the strength and abilities of this creature, perhaps in the worst way possible.--After getting completely taken out, Sabi woke up to find himself on a surgeon's table again. He sees his mentor working to repair him, but he isn't uttering a word. "Have you been dreaming again, Sabi?"- Zaro asked while working attentively to patch him back together. "It was a dreamless sleep" - he replied, smiling serenely. The clicking sound of limbs was a most soothing comfort after the recent escalation. He was happy to see Zaro again but he could see the subtlety in his expression. His mentor was having a hard time coping with his uncontrollable outburst of rage. It was clear that Zaro hated having his impulses take control of him.Sabi's relationship with such things was different. He somehow accepted waking up again and again, each time feeling more empty inside, until he no longer cared if it weren't right. At that moment however, he wanted to care. He knew he wasn't Zaro's enemy. Sabi really, really liked the idea of protecting Zaro. Keeping his doctor's back, and standing his ground against other monsters. Even if his growls were just the angry meows of a kitten. He extended his hand and formed a little fist. His mentor's appearance evoked awe in him, not fear or disgust. Even though Prime's goal was to twist Sabi into becoming a tool, he ultimately couldn't achieve this goal.
Serving as the core of his beliefs, Sabi always had his family. Getting back together and finding a cure for his condition was his long standing motive that persevered through everything the world threw at him. This motive was his reason for joining the Fatui organization in the first place. On the other hand, Zaro was "born there". It's the only world he ever knew. He went into all of this having only what Prime could give. Is that why he created "The Garden?"- "It must have been so lonely" so Sabi thought. Despite having raised so many monsters and critters in it, he has failed to emulate "normalcy" even though he turned the rules of his world inside-out.--A day came when Sabi finally finished the serum for his mother. But instead of saying goodbye, he turned towards his monstrous mentor and said that now nothing will distract him from the Garden and the life in it. In the end, Sabi was happy with the idea of just staying there. He widely smiled, and embraced life in the Garden at his new mentor's side. Without telling Zaro, he has stopped looking for a cure for himself. Over time, he even came to accept himself how he was and no longer wished to see "a different self". He came to embrace his madness, seeing it as a part of him, something that he now even cherished.︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
Notes:
- Thank you for making it this far and reading my story! ^^ I know this one was a bit longer. Sabimaru is a character who belongs to @SilenceMasamune on Twitter/X !
Diary of Balthazar: All is Fair
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's (Dottore Segments) from Genshin Impact!
...It's been a month since Prime triggered the termination sequence...Everything was quiet. So many of the voices of other segments were drowned over a span of mere hours. So much knowledge scattered like dust in the wind, with one man declaring himself worthy, merely walking away after making such a sacrifice. And yet not all of them were destroyed.In an abandoned warehouse, one sat in a darkened room. He's surrounded by stacks of vials and jars. This cramped storage room is his office. He cleaned a mithral blade in his hand, and a glint of light reflected his features. This rugged Segment is named „Otto“, number 228. He was a „spare body“ that Prime kept on hand all these years.A dormant husk of the original Dottore who was stripped of all aspirations, hobbies and interests so that his keen intellect could be focused on one thing only- killing those Prime considers to be „a loose end“. His very name was struck out of records for this purpose. It's as if the rest of the world didn't exist around him. Otto kept cleaning his blade with disinterest. He flicked a cigarette between his fingers. Once again, Prime's unfinished business will be washed with blood.--As an assassination segment, Otto was put together to locate and eliminate Segments before they became too independent or in the case of halting information leaks that could harm Prime. Otto was also there in case if Prime ever wanted to separate himself... from the Harbingers. It was necessary have something to fall back on in case if the Fatui sent their warriors to hunt him down (Prime was calculating that the others were doing the same thing as him). "Strike first and make sure it's the last"- Otto was the most combat-savvy segment. He acted with ultimate precision and patience. He could talk for hours about the subtleties of his work, and the details of his finest kills. At the same time, he saw his job „like any other“. Otto simply doesn't see contracted killing being different from crafting artifacts or selling fruit on a stand.After many years of forced cryosleep (His boss only needs him as a spare body after all) his awakening was greeted by Prime's face, covered with a mask and with a pale smile on his lips.He congratulated Otto on „waking up“ smirking to himself and saying that many others didn't get to enjoy that luxury. He handed Otto a list of objectives (His so-called shopping list). A handful of rogue segments, as Prime called them, needed to be culled before they could retaliate against him. Who his targets were never mattered to Otto. The most driven and the most lowly segment were no different in his eyes. They were but targets to eliminate.Otto was considered to be so impersonal by Prime that he didn't even have a name. A body stripped of emotions doesn't need one. Some personality still emerged in him because remarkably, Otto was annoyed that his work could not be credited to anyone. And he took pride (Like any other Segment) in the execution of his craft. With that being said, Otto suffered no preaching from Prime and would harshly cut him off if he went on tangents, telling him to „shut his mouth“ so he can focus on cleaning his weapons. He often communicated with Prime by giving him silent nods and short responses.Streaks of smoke rose from the cigarette between Otto's fingers„Is that all?“ - he asked Prime, obviously waiting for the man to leave him to his work. „Don't keep me from doing what I do“ to which Prime waved him off and told him that he is right to his opinions, as he is to his own.--One of the targets on his list was a segment number 113, by the name of Balthazar, codename „Zaro“. Zaro was an old test subject before anything else, a result of free form experimentation with the goal of creating a segment that could interpret the Irminsul. He was a segment in charge of sentience and transposition of the „soul“, or rather whatever latent elemental residue ends up being stored in the ley lines after sentient beings pass on (or dream).As this bionic creature, he posessed the ability to overwhelm the will of sentient creatures, melting their mind's defenses like wax. He could read minds, compel them to do things or erase memories of vital information... This was very troublesome. Prime described him as someone whose own mind had been compromised, and has become too uncontrollable not to be taken out. He painted the picture of a madman who dances naked in the moonlight and sucks the sap of the Divine Tree. Otto agreed. With himself being an empty slate, the mind reading fairy would have nothing to find-- aside from visions of its own death as Otto already savours the kill.Since Sumeru was nearby, Otto decided it would be his next location after he finished a job on the south of Fontaine.--...Four days later, Otto stood above his fallen victim...He's ended the life of some poor segment who was still a teen. This ended up bearing heavily on his soul. He has never killed someone this young, let alone someone who could have literally been „himself“.He lit up a cigarette, smoke drifting away just like his thoughts. Otto was created at the age of 33 and he never got to experience his teens. He didn't even know his own "clone years". „The man I'm supposed to be, the man I don't really know and he will never know me... Is this the fate that the original Dottore truly wanted for himself? I just don't see it.“An opinion formed in Otto's mind: „This isn't something an intelligent man would want". Perhaps it was his boss (Prime) who was the „rogue segment“ after all, harming the integrity of the mission that all segments shared. Well, that was an uncomfortable thought. The collection of knowledge has nothing to do with settling personal scores. What Otto didn't know, was that this slight doubt created a weakness that could later be exploited.Some time later, Otto packed up and left for Sumeru. He knew that his opponent has been recording events from the leylines and so, was „eavesdropping“ on the world for a long time. His arrival was no doubt expected. Otto knew he'd be fighting on the home ground of his prey. But that didn't matter because the job had to be completed. This directive could not be overridden. He laced his blades with special poisons. A cruel tincture that works only on Dottore segments. Otto knew that Zaro's body is probably unstable because of so many different elemental energies flowing through it. This could be used against him, perhaps to even counter his mind affecting abilities. This trick was his joker card. When arriving to the main city, Otto initially posed himself as an investigator of the paranormal from Inazuma who takes an interest in demons.He claimed to be interested in „fairies“, but many in Sumeru were horrified when he worded them as „monsters“. And yet someone sought him out in the end. It was an unpleasant topic- but there were whispers of a fey that wasn't a sweet, benevolent creature, but a disfigured monster instead. This would eventually help Otto track his quarry down.
The clues that Otto gathered led him to Mawtiyima forest. A dangerously unstable area filled with energies of ancient dreams and memories that stem from Sumeru's ancient past. The whole area was aware of Otto's arrival, and so was Zaro. His quest had him walking through ankle deep water at the valley floor. He didn't like his shoes getting wet but there was no helping it. As he walked around the forest searching for traces of his prey, strange visions suddenly tried to grab him. It was an unannounced psychic attack. The floor bent beneath his heels and he fell face down through the earth, into a dream. He focused his efforts in resisting the madness. It was disorienting and because of that, his mind was additionally weakened to follow-up psychic attacks. A fluttering of wings could be heard. But not gentle like the wings of a fairy. More like the stridulations of wings of a giant insect. Otto felt like he was being hunted instead.„Hmmm. You don't look like much“Zaro emerged from a dark cloud.He was in his "human" form. He hovered in the air near Otto, posed as if he was resting on an invisible chair that was floating in the air. His voice was tinged with some dissapointment. Otto's body was frozen and flushed with cold sweat while his eyes darted around. He heard a voice but didn't actually see anything. He was trapped in a dream, a place between waking and sleeping. Zaro smiled. He conveyed a warning to Otto with telepathy, telling him that he is lost and should turn back. He also told him that Prime's downfall has been foreseen, and that he wouldn't be the one to stay in charge forever. That his selfish actions went against knowledge, and knowledge doesnt serve a „master“.Zaro continued to add that he was rejected by his own kind, and as a Dottore- rejected by humans as well. Having experienced exclusion twice, he found comfort and consolation that Prime's plan failed. Otto struggled against Zaro's psychic pressure, enough to be able to say: „I came here to kill you, not to hear you yap“. Zaro laughed again- he laughed, and it sounded like there were insects chittering inside his body (And perhaps they were). He warned Otto to turn back one last time, even saying that he would grant him „a wish“ if he behaved well...But Otto was stubborn and determined to push through. He was dedicated to his job and truth be told, it was the only thing he knew how to do.Prime stripped him off other abilities that a Dottore „should have“ in order to improve his efficiency as a killer. But take that away, and Otto is left with no purpose or way to live. In a way, Otto himself has already experienced "deactivation" but differently. He could never get started on any research, he was programmed to not be able to do so. His research would always end up with him wanting to create a random mess. He could never sit down and concentrate on something. He even forgets to eat, and he thinks sleeping is pointless but then passes out of exhaustion anyway.But when it comes to killing, it is as if his inadequacies never existed.Just put a weapon in his hands, and he will do it. These strong but sad feelings helped him struggle against Zaro's mind dive. But the Fey segment wouldn't let up, and Otto continued to feel his presence in his mind, trying to pick apart his memories. ''You shouldn't mess with someone memories. Memories make a person who they are'' - Otto struggled to make the words through his gritted teeth, fighting against his body going numb.Zaro found this delightfully amusing. At the flick of his wrist, they were transported through interplanar dimensions again. This time they were in a nicely furnished room, inspired by Sumeru interiors.Zaro walked his fingers across the back of a camel styled sofa. He added: „Bodies of fallen assassins, their blood stagnating and becoming hard, until it became this gilded furniture“ He laughed and slid into the seat, pridefully rubbing the furniture as he threw one leg over another.„You and I are in a world carefully strung together from the dreams that fell off the Irminsul. Time flows differently here, among other things. Would you rather meet my carnivorous mirrors or will you become my next piece of furniture?“ a sly smile danced across his lips: „I will even let you keep that precious bowtie“. Otto struggled against the dream, enough to tell Zaro that his furniture sucks and that he has bad taste.He managed to tear himself away from Zaro's influence one more time, enough to deliver him with a blow of his "joker". A shriek ripped itself from Zaro's throat. In the next moment his assault was more fearsome than ever. The illusion of the room around them fell apart and Zaro's anger fueled, mind flaying abilities crashed over Otto's will like a furious wave. Otto felt himself falling into a void and his memories and thoughts were stripped out of him with merciless, grabbing hands. Instead of his humanlike appearance, a horrific insect creature emerged in the abyss of Otto's mind eye. Then everything went blank again.Suddenly he began to think about his past. About the fate of all Dottore segments. All of them unique, but none of them allowed to be themselves and reach their true potential. Always subservient to Prime. Something within Otto awakened as a cause of Zaro's meddling in his brain. What was he ever born for? just to fill the appearance of A Dottore? what is a Dottore? Why does he have to obey one man who sees him as nothing but a tool? With this new overwhelming feeling, Otto tried to rage Zaro's mind flaying abilities away. He was breaking his shackles with the zeal you'd normally see in heroic protagonists and not in hollowed out assassins. Segment blood seeped from Otto's eyes, physically suffering from stress and bringing him to a near-death state.It took another few thrashes for the bionic segment's wild temperament to settle. His wings fluttered in an irritated manner and he regained his human-like form. „You are both here and you are not. You can die never, or a hundred times. But that's not the point.“ Zaro moved his hand over a wound on his stomach that slowly vanished. The stabbing wound Otto inflicted with the joker was merely a manifestation within the dream of Otto resisting Zaro's mind dive.--There was something different about Zaro. After he went diving through Otto's memories, he re-emerged without a desire to continue the conflict.He instead turned his cyclopean eye towards Otto with pity. „God... There was nothing here. Just 90% of cryosleep“. He was surprised that after being suspended in Cryosleep for so long Otto was even capable of feeling „anger“ at all.To Zaro, this was incredibly tragic. He shook Otto trying to honestly convey that the battle between them is pointless. They travelled back to the original realm. The Mawtiyima forest. Where both of them are still standing. It was silent all around. Zaro's hands were on Otto's shoulders and Otto was barely moving with the status of his condition unknown.But before Zaro could utter another word, a knife found its way to his stomach. This time for real. Before it could sink more deeply into the Fey segment's body, a small blue creature intervened and took the majority of the blow. Zaro shielded his creature as the segment poison began circulating through its body. He compelled Otto not to kill them. And as for Otto... he just felt so damn tired. He wiped the blood from his lips and nose. He was no "Dottore" at all, just an assassin. And a shitty assassin at that. He saw his hand tremble as he was unable to finish the job. He no longer even knew if these were his own thoughts or illusions placed into his head by Zaro's psychic abilities. Everything has melted away...Zaro took notice of Otto's thoughts, still reading but not affecting them.Suddenly, a sharp signal cut through their connection. Prime sent out a second signal, killing off another segment and this time it's target was Otto (Prime considered him to be compromised).This was a surprise to them both. Otto was still alive, but Prime considered that Otto had already „lost“ and saw him as trash to be disposed of. Zaro watched as Otto curled up before him, with tears trickling down his exhausted face.„Urggh.... what the hell was the point of any of it?“Otto fainted and woke up to find himself in Zaro's care. Perhaps luckily, he wasn't affected. It's because he became so mutated from experimentng on himself that the security measures Prime installed into all of his segments stopped working on him. Otto laughed painfully and said "heh, so outliers like you really were a threat after all". Zaro shushed him and told him not to waste his energy.
He wondered if Zaro would keep him captive as well. That he'd simply be inherited by him after Prime. The powers of illusion that he posessed didn't instill him with much comfort either. Otto fidgeted nervously, desperately trying to find a cigarette in his coat. Zaro didn't like him smoking because he was repelled by the smell, but he let him go for it anyway. As for his question, Zaro shrugged with apathy. He suggested that Otto should stay over and allow him to look after his wound. After all, his deactivation was meant to be fatal and Zaro had already found ways to stabilize his body and his consciousness. They stared at one another from opposite sides. The buzzing of insects could be heard in the background accompanied by the dripping of water. The impression was that they were in a large hive and that the comb structures were like skyscrapers reaching into the air. It could have all been an illusion, but it was beautiful.The more Zaro spent time looking at this other segment, the more he realized that he was starting to love him. How perfect this other, unknown self was. Such a hopeless creature, so mortal and convoluted. Ever since then he encouraged Otto to find himself. And they spent time together in Zaro's hidden tapestry of dreams where blades of grass stroke your feet gently and where even dark creatures look upon you with understanding. Zaro introduced Otto to all kinds of new creatures he created. All he ever wanted was to see life emerge from different forms. From the small and docile ones, to the ones ravenous as much as he. Otto thought this was endlessly interesting, and Zaro even allowed him to dissect and study some specimens in order to break away from any lingering Prime's directives. It wasn't long until Otto's own heart began to beat faster when he was near Zaro. They understood their intended purpose better than Prime who has seemingly lost sight of it. To observe the world, from many, many different perspectives and viewpoints. And to form one's own perception of the world. And here, authority had no place, because it limited spontaneity of how the world works. Such a rigid mind could not hope to observe the world from all perspectives.Otto left the service of Prime, but still works as an independent contractor- meaning its possible to hire him for assassinations. A proper assassin can still get paid pretty well.︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
Notes:
- This is the last of the Segment stories. I'm extremely thankful to everyone who wanted to participate! I wished to finish more of them, but I simply did not have the stamina. This lovely segment belongs to @/exxiry from Twitter/x !
The Primordial Sin
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's from Elden Ring!
He believes in the existence of the goddess of Sin from lands beyond. At this point, Regill is 26 years old and he had been a Page ever since he was a child. Regill was picked up from the streets by his master who had been looking for a good fit to grow into his retinue. As far as he knows, this is all he is good for. Having grown up in his master’s care, he learned how to spin him around his finger. Regill had a silver tongue and knew how to get himself out of trouble and skip work. Regill’s home was a “cage” but it was undoubtedly a comfortable one. The same could be said about his relationship to his master and others around him. It was a lukewarm existence. He knew some servants had it worse- those in service to Seluvis have been said to endure abuse, earning no freedom even in the grip of death, as their master would turn them into puppets for his own wicked ends. Regill knew he was lucky among the unfortunate- but this didn’t make him feel any better.It was just luck.He wasn’t in charge of his own life, but in a boat, swaying on the waves. Everything around him seemed inconsequential. Regill knew he was going to be unfair towards others, and in turn- that others would do the same. Not out of spite or hate, but convenience and necessity. Is it a crime for a hungry child to steal? Is it a crime to 'rescue' a child out of poverty when you buy them as a slave? Regill couldn’t bring himself to care about unfairness or humiliation, because it was the only world he knew. Instead, he understood that living is about “desire”, and that life does not exist without it. The only crime in his book, is not closing your fist when an opportunity sits in your hand. This is at the core of his character and also his greatest limitation for growth. Regill’s biggest fears are death and boredom, and sometimes he can’t see the difference between the two.But eventually, Regill stops liking what he’s been doing- or rather, he gets bored with what he was doing. He begins to feel that he’d rather do more with his life than endure a lukewarm relationship with someone who buys his affection, whom he neither loves nor despises. One day Regill simply woke up with the idea that he wanted to change as a person. He wondered if this was possible to achieve, not trusting the claim over his own desire (Can it be done? Can he change the status quo?). He started studying, using the vast library of his master. He’d buy himself out of service.Something turned in him, and he wanted to challenge fate even if it kicked him out on the streets or threw him in jail. He wanted ownership over his own life.--He read about concepts of outside the Lands Between being tied with humanity, and how “darkness” was their nature. Regill thought it was interesting. Reading about it was like justifying everything he had experienced so far. Are all humans guilty from birth? Is that why it’s so natural to feel so terrible? Is that what dictates their fates and makes them perpetual servants to higher beings? Is guilt just masquerading as complacency and lukewarm satisfaction? Is that what makes them sit and obey? But there was more. He eventually reached forbidden tomes detailing outer gods, and a particular being caught his eye- the Goddess of sin.He wondered, if in her eyes, such a thing as an "innocent" existed, and what would be the criteria for that. He started to believe that through penance he could be reborn and freed of his past (Or his nature). But what he actually meant was that it could remove his flaws as a person. He didn’t want to face the fact that such a thing could only change through difficult personal decisions. So instead, Regill begged for “Sin”, a manifestation of his personal demons that he could conquer.He thought once he kneeled before this unknown goddess, he would somehow rise as a different person. He was chasing happiness in form only. Even if he labelled it as “Sin”, Regill was no different from the adorers of the Golden Order who kneel and pray for salvation from the Golden Tree. But this isn’t how life works. And Regill doesn’t know it- but his prayers would be answered. However, this penance wouldn’t come in the form of something he can easily overcome, or even recognize. She will teach him that the world is much wider and larger than he thinks he knows. He’d get everything he wants- just not in the way he wants it. And out of all this, Regill’s unusual “luck” is born.--Somehow suddenly- the Golden Order caught wind of his heretical studies. Now, chasing the dream of buying himself out service became ashes in the wind. Instead of becoming a Royal archivist in Leyndell, Regill watched his plans fall apart. It felt just like something pushed him back to the start, before he thought he’d figured out the game.But that’s when his overly attached master pleads to the Golden Order to have mercy on his beloved servant.Thanks to this man’s (unwanted) affection, Regill’s life was spared. It was a strange feeling and it became even stranger when Regill was set to serve as a Confessor on the fringes of the kingdom, hunting down people who “sinned” against the Order in a similar fashion as he did. It felt purposeful and artificial, but since Regill couldn’t point his suspicion to anyone, he had to comply. That was when he closed the tome with readings on “sin” and ventured outside. At least he wouldn’t be confined to his master’s mansion anymore, and that was what he wanted... right?As a confessor, Regill came in contact with many people and got to listen to their stories. Because they saw him as an agent of the Golden Order (and the High Will), they didn’t mind sharing their hopes or the horrors they committed. Regill suddenly felt humbled, and saw that other people were the heroes of their own stories just like him. They made him aware of the vast range of ordeals that people go through. He started to feel bad about the overly simplistic interpretation he used to have of the world.
--With a new determination and pride, he clutched his tools to himself, and thought about how he’d do better at his work. That perhaps, this is where he’s meant to be. Regill secretly felt a little proud- he thought that he grew as a person.Reg felt more driven than ever before. But that was when he lost everything again. As a Confessor, it was inevitable that he’d one day run into cultists of Mohg’s order. He looked into their eyes and saw pure darkness he could not understand. They overwhelmed one of the camps he was staying in, and crushed the defending force that stood in their way. Like shadows, they slinked from cover to cover, avoiding damages to their numbers until they dashed the life of the last remaining knight. The survivors were rallied together to the center of the camp. Regill kicked and screamed, but their strong hands dragged him there nonetheless. Confessor and the guilty, all tied together like lambs waiting for slaughter.His entire body was shaking, just like the people on his left and right. The cloaked figures walked around them, happy to have found offerings to sate the Lord and his followers. That’s when they started bleeding people dry.
The Primordial Sin
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's from Elden Ring!
The mere sight of it drove Regill mad with fear. This was brutally different from the life he enjoyed mere months ago. No longer was there a concept of evil and good he built up in his mind, no more people and their life stories.The only thing he knew was “fear”. And he saw how easily his understanding of the world shattered again. He begged for his life first, but then he begged to be put into service, saying he could bring them more offerings. Anything to avoid the pain and suffering of being bled to death like the others. One of the cultists, a surgeon nonetheless- grabbed Regill by the face, giving him an unusual and reassuring chuckle beneath his mask. The followers of Mohg decided to give Regill a chance- pressing a knife firmly into his open palm, and telling him to finish off the rest of the sacrifices. After the deed was done, the same surgeon approached Regill again-with a mask in his hand and bearing his usual, gentle smile. He delicately removed the knife from Regill’s hands (having to use some force, as Regill was gripping it to the point of numbness) and stroked his hair.He whispered into his ear, that he’d mould Regill into a fine Dynasty Noble. And that he would be more than he ever dreamed of being.--Regill started to work for the blood cult, learning their routine and how to distance himself from the horrid actions he had to take to keep himself alive. Keeping the cult happy was a far worse fate than doing service for his old master. This time he was actually hurting people.But, while working for these nameless fiends, Regill got to travel all over the Lands Between. The most interesting locations were the “burial tombs”, which he and his clan desecrated to learn more about the Erdtree. What rotten luck. Regill could dive into his research without anyone stopping him. He could roll open any scroll and read any tome while scrutinizing its content without someone keeping guard or trying to stop him.On one special occasion, Regill spent an extra amount of time in Caelid, exploring a particular Tower where he defeated a pair of Godskin Apostles by using the cult’s abilities. That’s where he found Blackflame, a volatile power that took a liking to him. The Blackflame danced around his fingers, biting his hand ever so slightly like a playful pet. He sat on the Tower’s ground level, in dust, not caring how filthy his sanguine noble outfit had become. This was the first time that he felt especially excited about something. This was the fruit of Regill’s search for “sin”, and for the first time it was a power he had gained on his own. The black flames felt weighty which was different from the blood flame that Regill had the opportunity to conjure. Just so, Regill accepted that he wasn’t a “spectator” anymore. He wasn’t here by accident, this wasn’t luck. He couldn’t blame the things he did on outside circumstances anymore. Taking advantage of the cult to further his pursuits was a conscious trade, and even more sin was granted to him in exchange. He sat alone with this revelation, his feet and hands burnt, but feeling happier than ever before.As more time went on, Regill became a full-blown Dynasty Noble, complete with their mannerisms, language and knowledge.He even got his own, private quarters. Now he was writing his own scrolls, and imparting his knowledge to others. He was strong, and he had “rank”. His studies of the Blackflame made him a teacher to others and he enjoyed this role. But, in the depths of his heart, he still felt shame when looking back to all the sacrifices he made to the Blood Lord. This was a clear sign that this place was not his final destination, as he still hadn’t found himself. No matter how much he tried to rationalize that this was a game of winners and losers, it didn’t work. All those people died so he could continue serving yet another master. An idea occurred to him- what if he became so powerful, that he could take over the cult’s head... and perhaps, even disband it?He would need a lot of power to do it. The Blackflame flickered in Regill’s hand promisingly, as if agreeing to conspire together with him. If only his old master could see him now.
The Primordial Sin
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's from Elden Ring!
But then, another disaster struck seemingly out of nowhere. After months of preparation to challenge Mohg, the Lord of Blood - a Frenzied Lord suddenly appeared (as typically expected of “chaos”) with a simple motive.To consume. Grow in strength.They just wanted the cultist’s concentrated power and began consuming their lives for their runes, with the side effect of Frenzied flame washing over the palace like an unstoppable wave. What didn’t survive, was subsumed- what survived, went insane.Dozens of his cultist allies fell to the frenzied rays of gold. Not as punishment for the wicked- but simply on a stranger's whim. Regill grabbed himself by the head- he didn’t want to be sucked into the crucible of life, losing himself, his place and all the knowledge he sacrificed so much to gain.The image of himself with dignity and purpose slipped out of his fingers (But could there even be dignity when its built upon the suffering of others?). When Regill woke up, he was surrounded with dozens of dead. Mohg was dead too. While he was out of it, the Frenzied Lord merely stepped over him, letting him survive out of carelessness. He looked around to see the lake of blood ignited by yellow fire. He knew he couldn’t resume on this path again. And to make matters worse, he was now infested with “Frenzy”. He could do nothing but submit to the reality of his new situation. It was time to start over, again. He wasn’t alone in his head anymore, and that’s why he wanted to cure the frenzy. He paused his studies on the dark, and shifted his focus to a new outer god. A familiar place manifested in his memory- the Haligtree. He remembered from the Blood Cult that this is where Miquella was from.He found a horse, and started a journey. The blackflame urged him on with confidence. Despite his shattered dream, he rode through the frozen lands of giants. Through snowstorms and snow, he became covered in scars and his journey became written upon his body. When he arrived to his objective, Regill was met with more disappointment. Miquella’s needle was nowhere to be found. And it couldn’t be crafted either. But despite that he didn’t find a solution for his Frenzy, Regill learned more about “The Primordial Crucible”. He observed the grafting process in the Haligtree, and learned how it was made strong. It was because of the constant change- of evolution and mutation, a reason for which he learned it was outlawed by the Golden Order he once thought he’d serve. Regill chuckled to himself. It was all so absurd and ironic- but he decided to learn crucible magic nonetheless, in a desperate attempt to stave the Frenzy’s claim over his soul.Even without the needle, he found another way to make himself strong enough to resist the flame. But there was one more place Regill wanted to see- the lost city of Nokron.In one of the scrolls he found while perusing the dusty libraries of Miquella’s city, he saw mention of Farum Azula and talk about an old God who departed to the land of stars. Since, by his understanding- this old god existed in the time of the Crucible Era, he could potentially learn more about how to separate individuals from “the soup of souls”- as he called the Frenzied flame.--On his way back to Limgrave, he had to stop for a terrifying sight. The city of Leyndell became a ruin. The buildings were crumbled, and burnt ashes filled the streets. Wrapped in rags, Regill traversed over the fallen city. He saw the master's old home, reduced to rubble, frightening scorch marks scarring the roof of a once golden pavilion. Regill paused. How many months has it been since he went missing in action as a Confessor? It was such a long time that even the cult he served was wiped out. He felt.. relief. Like a stone fell from his chest. Regill’s past and future could never join together to form a loop. He abandoned the place, carrying the image of the city’s opulence in his mind like a last memento.
The Primordial Sin
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's from Elden Ring!
When he arrived to Limgrave, Regill began looking for an entrance into the underground world. He was aware of an old well that could lead him to the city, but all access routes were blocked at some point, which meant he had to find a different way in. He travelled through forests, scoured the burning plains and peeked into every cave. His search availed to nothing, aside from finding a couple of new merchant friends and a strangely friendly warrior jar. Exhausted, Regill sighed loudly and slid on his back, looking at the sky.Just as he was scratching his nose, a meteorite ripped through the sky with deafening noise. It all happened in a split second, and it was as if the clouds themselves were set on fire.Regill’s eyes bulged open, and then a hot blast threw him away. If he had any eyebrows, they were gone now for sure. Regill rubbed his eyes, and dusted off his clothes. He started carefully approaching the impact area, waving off the flying dust with his hands even though it burned his eyes. As he came closer, a distinct shape started coming into view. It was a massive crater! And the residual gravitational energy was so strong, that huge chunks of rock still hung in the air. It was as beautiful as it was unnerving. Regill wasn’t comforted by the idea that one of those things could go plummeting down on his head as he tries to climb down into the hole. But at least, now there was a way in. Regill nodded, and then jumped downward into the unknown. A faint sprite of Blackflame lit up his way.--He was shocked by what he saw. The city of Nokron itself was tidy and barely damaged- like a capsule in space that existed outside of time. Its dignified walls stood proud and tall.But even more, Regill thought how far beneath the surface he was. He was struck by a sudden fear of everything collapsing, though he decided to put that thought aside in his mind. He didn’t want to feel afraid of just walking around this city, especially when he had a goal to accomplish.The heels of his boots clanked against the city’s polished black tiles. With every turn of a corner, Regill saw something new. He was shocked by the amount of stairs- despite that most of its current population consisted of beings he understood as “slimes”.There were even massive, sentient balls (Yes, balls). Regill once stood on a balcony in utter horror, as a seemingly inanimate object tried to reach him in order to crush him underneath itself. This thing even stalked him- quietly trailing from behind and forcing Regill to take narrow passages.
He almost felt like he was just sightseeing now, as if the original goal in his mind was now somewhere else.He had a distinct feeling that the city itself was alive and aware of his presence... and that it was preparing something for him. That was when he met another human- or rather, something close to it. One of the “slimes” he had been encountering took the shape of a person. At first, Regill thought it was a monster trying to imitate him, but then he realized this being had its own mind. It begged him for mercy- and although equally scared, Regill agreed to hear it out. This being introduced itself and its species as “mimics”, and surprisingly enough, he even ended up taking care of it.--The mimic spent time by his side as he explored the city, hearing many of his tales about his journey so far. It took quite a liking to him (even though he was mostly rambling about places and gods it had no idea about). It was so unbelievably long since he had a chance to chat.Regill even spoke about the Gloam-Eyed Queen who was capable of dispensing justice even over the gods themselves. Exciting- the mimic thought. Justice this, justice that- for someone who claimed the world is “just winners and losers” (at least at the start), it was obvious what Regill still cared about the most.The mimic didn’t understand much but loved hearing his voice all the same. It was perhaps obvious only now, but Regill had slowly been changing as a person this whole time. They weren't very visible milestones- but with each adventure, Regill was becoming more responsible, and more kind. This finally came to show when he was opening his heart to someone, talking in great detail about his experiences and feelings, even if his listener could only understand so little. It quietly adored the first human it saw, and to that being, Regill was the most amazing hero ever (even though he was very far from that).But then, at the end of his journey in Nokron- Regill learned that the people of Nokron killed the God he wanted to find for the sake of their own revenge.
The Primordial Sin
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's from Elden Ring!
That was it, the end of the journey. Again. His only hope of curing the frenzied flame was destroyed while settling a grievance hundreds of years old.Regill was deeply disappointed and angered. He cried seeing that he could not take control of his life no matter how much he tried. In the end he left the place without a word and did not even say goodbye to the mimic he took care of. On his way out, he took one last look at Nokron. It wasn’t an answer to his plight, but at least it was beautiful. It was a quiet gift in its own way. Regill sat down, with tears in his eyes and stared at the "stars". His days were numbered.--In the end, Regill decided to let go of his “desire”, and start wandering around. Perhaps this was his destiny. Maybe the big revelation he was meant to realize was that life was transient. That obsessions should be let go of, and other emotions be enjoyed to the fullest. It included embracing time, and embracing pain that no one promises to lift. His Blackflame remained with him as an eternal partner on whichever journey he decided to take, on this precious and only life. His witness, the sin he so longed for.Whatever happens, he always seems to survive and things somehow turn out for the better, even if he actively tries to fail. It scares him. He thinks it has to do with the Grace of Gold, or whatever is still left in him, but the truth is in the domain of the goddess of Punishment and Sin. He doesn’t see that both the disasters and his unusual luck stem from the same source.Now he stalks the roads of Limgrave. He ditched all of his old clothes, and just wears the things he picked off dead Godrick’s soldiers or other bandits. They’re light, inconspicuous and comfortable even though they kind of paint him as a target. He even has a nickname with the local bandits, “Buckethead Regill”. Lately, he even seems to think that people can allow themselves all sorts of fantasies if it makes them feel better. Even if those fantasies are arrogant.Without much of a goal in mind, he now plays his flute and lounges around during the day. This is because he sleeps at day, and pillages at night. He likes sitting in alcoves, or resting in tree canopies since climbing is very easy for him and he likes to stay out of sight. He can also imitate bird songs to a very high degree. He can do at least 15 different melodies of various different songbirds in Limgrave. At least he's not bored while waiting for the Frenzied flame to consume him.He doesn't sleep well, because Frenzied Flame is hard to endure. As soon as he closes his eyes, instead of "going into the land of dreams", his mind wanders into the frenzied cauldron, replete with screams and wails of thousands of bodiless souls that were forced into their primordial form. He often looks sweaty, exhausted or miserable when roused from sleep.--Initially, he became a lowly bandit because he needed to survive from day to day.But Reg learned that he actually preferred this way of life. Maybe this is finally who he is? He knows he's a good-for-nothing rascal and he lets his travel companions know that if push comes to shove, he will likely abandon them to their fate (and he expects them to do the same). He doesn't like being followed around or having companions because he starts feeling responsible for them, and he knows full well, that when the situation gets serious, he will be the first one to run. So he shoo's away anyone who tries to get too close.--Someone else was listening in on his story, there was a consciousness that seemed to swim undeterred in the Frenzied flame. Every time he slept, it watched him with pointed curiosity. It couldn't be anyone else but the Frenzied lord, the same one who decimated the bloodletting clan long ago (...And doomed him forever). He wanted a part in this “story”. And his name… was Nye.On the most ordinary day, his greatest obstacle just walked up to him with a smile and a greeting. Regill is beside himself again- how can he convince the primordial, eldritch monstrosity to spare his life?And maybe even spare this world?
Dug Out Heart
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's and the canon characters are OOC!
Luckily for Wes, he has been useful to Babylonia since childhood (And it was their choice to take him in), so they decided not to completely abandon him. Instead of leaving him to scramble for survival with a damaged M.I.N.D. beacon (A damaged implant in his brain) and a completely ruined reputation, Hassen authorized the formation of a new squad under the name of his old one. The Achilles can be resurrected as a cleanup squad. This is where Wes is now. His main job falls into the category of corpse retrieval.Wes collects dog tags, memory modules and recovers (or destroys) Science Council's technology so it doesn't fall into Kurono's hands.His job includes salvaging usable equipment, cataloguing and identifying bodyparts of dead constructs, basic forensics, reconstructing destroyed bodies, and bringing serum from fallen squads back to Babylonia (Though he will often 'steal' a few to give them to the people in conservation areas). He is also told to assist the Purifying force, helping them dispose of evidence, or help fake deaths of people that Babylonian management wants to hide. His damaged mind is the perfect scapegoat, as Wes keeps forgetting things and has a hard time remembering details. If someone wanted to question him, there is very little he could say, and his thoughts can't be checked anyway. He is the perfect picture of useful but expendable.Wes is aware of all this but rationalizes it as something he deserves after what happened to his first squad (Support construct deserted and became an Ascendant, and to make things worse he connected his M.I.N.D. beacon to her, permanently losing his ability to be a commandant). Because of that, he isn’t surprised when people distrust him. He doesn't hate himself or hold a grudge against anyone, he just stopped making choices for himself because he thought he could only mess things up. He became so indifferent to his fate, that even when something bad happened to him he simply acted like the misfortune happened to someone else.A lot of people know about the disaster involving his squad, which is why Wes is seen as a "shady individual" despite his efforts to avoid making the mess worse. He follows wherever death goes and his job is also seen as quite inelegant since he often has to recover corpses that are old, in terrible shape, or difficult to reach. One time, he had to pull out the remains of a construct who fell into land clearing machinery and his corpse got stuck between the gears. The job was messy and gruesome to say the least. Wesley was covered in vital fluid and gore that he couldn't wash off for an entire week.This is also part of the reason why Wesley wears gloves all the time. It’s not so much because of his job, but because he’s self-conscious about his hands. They’re always cold and sweaty, and that makes him feel unclean especially since he works with corpses. No matter how often he washes them, he feels like people will still see him as gross.--Since rumours follow him, Wes had to learn how to deal with suspicious people trying to bribe him. When he hears people saying terrible things about him, he smiles through it and then slips away without saying anything. Being constantly seen this way is why he often prefers being stationed on Earth, despite that Babylonia is much safer. Still, he did make some new friends, which includes the legendary Gray Ravens.There is also a silver lining to his situation. His job is mostly 'safe' since he is dispatched to mission areas after operations have already been concluded. He is also given a highly-powered exoskeleton that he loves to wear (Actually he is so proud of it that he will brag about it to anyone who's willing to listen) which is very good for basic self defense, lifting heavy objects and forcing doors open. He also -really- loves his mechanoids, and a military grade shovel he named "The Jackrabbit" which helps him smash and cut things. Sometimes he needs to fight because the corrupted enemies are hanging around bodies that he has to reach. This is frustrating and dangerous, but it's also where knowing a combination of boxing and having a sturdy exoskeleton comes in handy (Although one time his heavy exoskeleton caused him to fall through a rotten floor).His mechanoid team could also be used for intimidation, though he'll rarely (If ever) use them against other humans. He knows well what they have to deal with on Earth, far below Babylonia’s splendor. He empathizes with them because he spent time drifting with his mother until they were taken in by the Nighter, just to end up homeless again. Instead of resorting to the mindless weapons that follow him, as soon as he sees a raggedy bunch of humans who look hungry and armed to the teeth (While pillaging what he's supposed to retrieve), he sighs and says:"Can you just tell me what you took so I can document it?"--Wesley holds the title of a commandant even though he technically isn't one. His mind is permanently tainted (Because of connecting to an Ascendant), so he can no longer connect to constructs or he might trigger a punishing reaction in them, causing them to become "corrupted". One of his previous constructs, Renée (From the team that got disbanded) even submitted a letter to the president of Babylonia Council, demanding almost exclusively for Wes to never be put in charge of another living thing again. As a result, his career was permanently ended and he never found out this was done behind his back. This has also brought him mockery from other squads who often call him a "fake", given that his team's name is that of a mythological warrior, while he can't even take charge of a single construct. But he doesn't let himself get bullied. If he doesn't like someone, he will do his best to be as unhelpful as possible.And unlike the ancient Greek hero, Wesley doesn’t see “being among the dead” as shameful. He likes where he is because he knows his job is safe. He has no desire to risk his life for unnecessary reasons and seeing in how many different ways other commandants and constructs have died only improved his sense of self-preservation. Each corpse he finds is like a hint for keeping himself out of harm's way.--As part of his job, Wesley also collaborates with a few other squads on a monthly basis.One of these is the Engineering Squad because he needs to borrow their wreckage manipulation tools and lend out his mechanoids to them (This is where he managed to befriend Karenina. He likes her "special way with words", and always candidly says hi to her even if it's out of his way). She says all the things he doesn’t, and he feels validated when he listens to her ranting about his mechanoids not receiving proper maintenance in Babylonia. He needs to stay in touch with her team so they don't accidently bring a building down on his head before he finished extracting corpses.Wes also sometimes works with the Support Force during rescue so he can assist them and collect bodies of those who couldn't be saved. Bridget, the leader of the Support team took a special liking to him because she knows he keeps going out of his way to help people on Earth. She also loves taking him under her arm and feeding him beer (Too much of it) while cheerfully geeking out about new engine upgrades. Wes doesn't have a clue about cars, but appreciates the company even if he ends up vomiting later. Sometimes she will also take him out on wild rides, which he also enjoys even though he looks terrified while she pushes 200 km/h down crumbling post-apocalyptic roads. Though she did save him more than a few times by rushing over when he was in trouble.Wesley is constantly followed by the theme of „Death“ but he never lost the playful parts of his personality, and despite everything, he still manages to "put himself together" just as well as he reassembles the mangled bodies of those who died. He likes to say that “heaven is always close” in his line of work, and he still loves the world. Because of this cheerful side, characters like Bambinata and Kamui tend to have a good opinion of him. He will sometimes even join them for games or paint Bambinata’s nails, despite her commandant's objections. His relationship with „Death“ itself is interesting too, because Wesley likes it in a certain context. The world was like a terrifying maelstorm without any kind of scales to keep the balance anymore. Nothing was guaranteed, but at least „Death“ still served as one great certainity. And as morbid as it sounds, he even liked seeing the tears of people who came to say goodbye, because to him it meant that people still had the capacity to love.The gore that comes with his job doesn’t bother him and he can ignore most of it, partially thanks to his damaged implant (And partially due to his peculiar personality). Sometimes he even watches cooking videos on his phone to pass time while working, or practices his singing (Memorizing things is good for his health). He is also not squeamish at all. While restoring bodies, he will often have a severed bodypart on his table and remain completely unfazed even if he knew the person when they were still alive. He is somewhat superstitious though, which doesn't bode well for him considering his profession (He's actually scared of ghosts). This paranoia started with his M.I.N.D. beacon damage. It is also why he is more certain conspiracy theories are real and why it's sometimes hard for him to stay in touch with reality.That is why he wears a yaku-yoke talisman on his ear, to defer the "grudges of the dead" from sticking to him. He also deals with stress by compulsively chewing on things (Often cigarettes. He doesn't smoke, but he carries them for others because he thinks it might help him make some new friends).His implant damage has also altered his personality a bit. He sometimes comes off as rude just because he is disregarding a lot of social etiquette to get to the point, or finish conversations more quickly. Also, he often forgets himself, or becomes too excited when meeting a new person, causing him to accidently come too close and suddenly infringe on their personal boundaries. One time he approached Liv too quickly because he really liked her hair ("Is that pink? Wow! I love that hair!") and scared her despite his friendly intentions.He gets along really well with Lucia though. He always asks her to tell him jokes when they run into each other. Since he enjoys them, Lucia never knows that she's actually really bad at telling them (These two are on a similar wavelength).
Dug Out Heart
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's and the canon characters are OOC!
Talking to himself is one of the methods of stabilizing his tainted mind. By hearing any voice, (Including his own) Wesley can stay grounded without getting lost in flashes of random moments and memories brought on by the virus. Sometimes he shuts down entirely because medical help from the Star of Life is too far away. This is pretty bad because when he doesn't talk, his state gets progressively worse. Since his position is unfavorable, a lot of people tend to think he's either faking it or making a big deal out of it. Some even think he's going as far as taking advantage of the situation.People see it this way because him getting a new squad and being allowed to keep working already felt like too much of a handout from the government of Eden.--The Earth is a desolate place. Since it's just him and three mechanoids programmed with crappy AI (Meaning they never share their thoughts... or you know... have them) Wesley acquired the habit of talking to the dead as if they were "his clients" and he was providing them a service. He would also pretend that he is a protagonist from this or that show, quoting his favourite lines to a literally still audience. At first he did this to avoid too much introspection and keep himself busy. But with time, it became an indispensable part of spending time on Earth. He regards all mechanoids as real because they are what keeps him company the most. Even though they can only respond to him with pre-recorded messages from their exhaustive data banks, he will still choose to see them as friends.When he finally runs out of ideas for his eccentric group without a pulse, and the sound of conversation dims in favor of silence, he is reminded of things that led to his downfall. Particularly when he made the mistake of becoming too protective over a construct because he couldn't tell the difference between her and a human child.--Over time, It has proven impossible to become the person he once used to be. Even though Wesley wanted someone to be able to rely on him, his condition always set him back and reminded him that his current job is all he can manage. This caused him to develop a certain capriciousness (Maybe even bitterness?). Because apart from his constant failures, everyone kept craning their necks to see what other “disaster” he might cause. Even though he was “forgiven” it sure didn’t feel that way. Since they were going to see him as an animal in a zoo anyway, he decided it might as well be on his terms. This is why Wes started behaving difficult on purpose, annoying some people and amusing others, which also didn't help his reputation.Despite this, his superiors aren’t too bothered. The only thing that matters is that he's functional and that his damaged brain implant isn't capable of recording anything it shouldn't. On Earth, he's allowed to behave independently (Which means that all responsibility for the mission is his to bear. His mechanoids can’t be blamed for missing a memo). He gets a mission brief detailing where to begin the recovery and potentially sabotage or survey something else. If anyone sees him tampering with evidence, Wesley has to figure out how to “handle it” on his own. After that it’s back to the regularly scheduled apocalypse.Because of his good track record with missions like these (And extensive knowledge with workings of construct’s bodies, as well as evidence disposal), he has a position within the Purifying force, should he ever want it.He’s also in charge of maintenance of his equipment, which makes him very handy, not to mention that he used to repair Ember on his own (This is also why Karenina sometimes uses his help, paying him with coffee and conversation). But when his only helpers become corrupted by the Punishing virus that’s abundant on Earth, he’s forced to carry out their execution, then either haul them back to Babylonia to have them fixed, or do it himself on the road with any tools and knowledge he has on disposal. And if his equipment breaks during unauthorized activity, he risks losing his only job and being put on a military tribunal (Again!).There is also the constant danger his mechanoids could become corrupted and attack him while in the corner of his eye or right behind him. This is why whenever his loyal helpers make a sound that he doesn’t recognize, he starts firing until they lie motionless on the ground. Babylonia outfitted him with a custom gift just for this purpose. He can’t help but sometimes think that this oversight is also punishment for letting a corrupted construct get away.While all of this is happening, he is still trying to find out Ember's fate. He cares for her a lot even though she left with the Ascendants and the whole turnout costed him his future. He desperately wants to know if she’s alive and okay (Even as an enemy). Just being able to clap his eyes on her would make him feel a bit ‘redeemed’. His compulsive search for her, as well as his job of hiding evidence would eventually attract Roland’s attention.--Meanwhile on Earth, the Ascendants have already embraced Wesley's former construct as a new addition to their ranks. She knows she can't go back no matter how much it pains her to ignore her former commandant.Humans and Ascendants don't tolerate each other, and nobody could guarantee her safety if she ever returned. On the other hand, they can look after her and teach her how to control the punishing virus. Ember is much safer with Luna than she would ever be with Wes. Besides, she felt indebted to Roland for saving her from becoming a corrupted (He was the one she met that day). Her body reacted well to his virus ("his gift"), which helped her survive the filtering threshold instead of becoming a mindless monster.However, that did not stop her from sharing stories about her commandant. She ended up oversharing so much that it annoyed Roland all the way to hell and back. Unlike the people of Babylonia, Ember saw Wesley’s good sides and even embellished his accomplishments. The way she described him, Wesley sounded almost as dangerous as the Gray Raven commandant. It's always problematic when Ascendants have ties on the human side, and Roland really didn't want Babylonian bloodhounds on the doorstep of the only home that was real to him. He also wanted to cut the connection between Ember and her commandant so she wouldn't be loyal to anyone besides Luna. This is when he went to assess Wesley's "threat level".
--Roland listened in on the human ground teams’ broadcasts for a while (He was exceptional at hacking into comms) until he found a mission where this person will be present. He decided to check out this "commandant of Death” himself, but had no way of knowing that the Gray Ravens would be there too. They had their own objective, and their comms were especially well encrypted, thanks to Lee. With so many teams present the situation became complicated and Roland got injured as a result. Clutching his wounds, he bewailed the Gray Raven’s presence (Why is she always there?? Is she the only commandant they have??).Since he was on a spying mission all alone, he had no choice but to send a distress call.After a long wait, someone finally arrived. He got a knot in his stomach when he realized it was the person he came to spy on. But rather than a badass like Philippa, Wesley turned out to be quite harmless. Roland was surprised with how wrongly Ember had been describing him all along. Meanwhile, Wes took care of his wounds simply because he thought he was helping a wounded construct and had a deep desire to be useful. Since Roland was in disguise and kept his "punishing levels low", Wes had no way of telling that he was actually helping an Ascendant.Roland learned that the only reason he responded at all was because the last team that heard his distress call thought he was too far away "and as good as dead". Since Wes was in the funeral business, dead and alive were equally good so he came to investigate anyway. He also jokingly said that "Corpses don't usually send out distress calls" to which Roland played along asking "What do you mean usually?". They exchanged a few more words and then parted ways.Roland was amused by how Wesley turned out to be. He managed to get up and running thanks to his efforts, so he decided to tail him back to camp just to see him a bit longer (while steering clear of the Gray Ravens of course). Once the coast was clear, Roland approached the small encampment and found out that everyone there was drunk. "What's next? A carnival?" he grumbled to himself, tilting an eyebrow. Since this camp was close to the mission area, and the punishing concentrations were high, they had to shut off their water supply so they could only rely on liquor for the rest of the day. That's where Roland found Wes again, and this time he was waving around a jug of vodka and milk.He initially planned to scare him by revealing his true nature, but they ended up chatting like friends instead. They hit it off because they both liked stuff from the Golden Age (And it was the first time someone could comment on his favorite movies). In the end, Roland talked to Wes so much that his voice module stopped working correctly, and he even stayed up until everyone else left. Being himself, he couldn’t resist dropping hints about his true identity, which led the conversation in the direction of questioning his “humanity”. At some point Wes blurted out drunkenly "What? of course you are human!". His careless phrasing left the Ascendant feeling both happy and dejected at the same time. He loved playing this role, if only it didn't leave him with a painful kind of joy. Roland smiled bitterly: "My, my. You're so drunk. Imagine if you were attacked by an Ascendant right now."But instead of doing anything aggressive, he let the inebriated redhead fall asleep and left quietly with the first morning light. When he returned to the Ascendants hideout, he avoided Ember the entire day, denying he ever met her former commandant. What was he going to tell her? That he was kind of nice... and sweet? Just saying those words made him chuckle. Wesley is not how she describes him. He is worse, but also better.There were so many things he wanted to say. He started entertaining the idea of pretending to be a human, and wondered if he could keep talking to Wes that way.--A couple of months later they crossed paths again, only this time Roland would save Wesley. They met in a themepark where Roland's mission was to stop anyone from helping the Gray Ravens. When he saw a familiar face approaching the gate he was supposed to guard, it threw him for a loop. But then he quickly realized that he was worried for a human's wellbeing instead of considering how his presence might endanger the mission. Roland laughed at his mistake and sent a wave of corrupted enemies to „greet Wesley at the entrance“ as a way of correcting his initial reaction.... Only he happened to regret it right after. Roland did his best to focus on other cameras, but his eyes kept anxiously running back to the one Wes was in. His sarcastic jokes were soon replaced by silent uneasiness and sounds of combat filled the vacuum of the room. For some time he even avoided checking it, because he didn’t want to see him get mauled. An accidental glance lent him a view over Wesley’s battered and bloody face. It made his breath hitch, and after wordlessly saying “no…” he clumsily made a last minute decision to help after all. Roland used his „Punishing“ to take control over one of Wesley's mechanoids and helped him survive the onslaught of corrupted that he himself sent. He felt relief that he survived, but also berated himself for changing his mind so quickly.Then suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by a gentle, warm feeling on his head. Wes was patting his mechanoid without knowing it had a lingering connection to Roland, transferring the feeling of "touch" all the way to the Ascendant. This was a peculiar experience. He became flustered so quickly that he cut the connection off, thinking „Phew... Haha! Well played, dear commandant!“. Then he patted himself a few more times while looking at Wes on the screen. He chuckled, because it didn't feel the same way.This wouldn’t be the only time he tries taking control of his mechanoids.However, as soon as Wes noticed something was off, he would immediately reach for his weapon which resulted in Roland getting “shot” repeatedly. That didn't keep him away though. There was a strange satisfaction in witnessing such a cruel side of someone who once treated him as a human, even if by mistake. It reminded him of Mandy. He wondered if he felt this way, being hurt by the friend he loved. It was wonderfully… ironic. It felt like he was tasting the pain he inflicted upon others.--After this he decided to trail Wes for some time, either hanging out indirectly by taking a more skillful approach with possessing his helpers or watching him work from public cameras. Whenever Wes was in danger, Roland would shout at him to “dodge something” then slap himself on the forehead when realizing Wes can't hear him. And when he saw Wes talk himself down on the camera, he'd excitedly reply- “You’re not stupid, you’re doing great!”.It was like watching his favourite podcast.This slowly became his idea of relaxation. Sometimes while watching Wes run around on a flickering screen, he'd pat his head with a finger or press his tiny silhouette like he was crushing a bug. He would even interact with the “actor” by sending him on a wild goose chase or make him run around in loops. Sometimes he would even help Wes, by preparing the mission area like it was a stage before he arrived. This went on for a long time. Wes wasn't aware of Roland laughing at his jokes, commenting his actions, or completing his monologues. He was helping an Ascendant get through the day without even knowing.Roland noticed that they were similar in a way of treating the world around them like it was some kind of show. The only difference was that the human he sees somehow seems to enjoy himself.At this point, he felt a bit like he was stealing Ember's commandant. Sure he'd tell her about him eventually, or ask more questions. But he would always be the one to keep an eye on him. He was still telling himself that he was just „testing Wesley“, even though he just spent time secretly helping him or listening to his voice. At other times he even wrote messages on walls, waiting for Wes to reply like they were exchanging graffiti tags. In some weird way, it was like he became Wesley's guardian angel, simply because he "didn't want the show to end".One time, Roland woke up next to a tablet he was looking at before and wondered why he was enjoying this person's company so much to begin with. Both he and Wesley have lived outside the social world for so long that he started to see his own loneliness in him. It was absurd, but he liked it and it was interesting. If he ever wanted a friend in this life, it would be someone who looks, talks, and sounds like this person he found. And Wesley almost grew accustomed to that stare. Of someone or something, at the back of his neck.
Dug Out Heart
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's and the canon characters are OOC!
More time passed in between. A lot of things happened for the Ascendants, and Roland was too busy to keep track of Wes anymore.Then the Pulia park incident happened, and it was like the whole world stopped turning for a year. One day, Roland decided to lock himself away in a prison. It's where he went to clear his head or just sit in silence. That's when he realized there was someone else in the same prison, only they seemed to be trapped for real. He felt bored so he reached out, and they started working together while anonymously exchanging messages. This way of communication reminded him how he used to interact with someone from the past. It made him feel a bit low, like he lost something again. But as new messages kept popping up, he had to move on.Their collaboration went smoothly. When it was time to finally meet his mystery partner so they could „escape together“, he was shocked to realize that this person was none other than Wes.He didn't know if it was fate or something else, but it cheered him up to see that Wesley was okay. He was also aware that this would be the worst time to reveal that he is an Ascendant since his actions greatly contributed to the birth of the Twins. He pulled himself away from the meeting point, but still chose to help Wes escape the prison. Things became a bit complicated as he tried to stay out of sight while keeping him alive. The young man was determined to save him and kept stubbornly charging forward, even though he had no idea that he was saving an Ascendant again. He was just sick of looking at corpses all the time, especially because he was stranded on Earth during the Twins’ rampage.In the end, he still managed to get hurt and Roland had to throw a flashbang under his feet just to avoid getting recognized. Wes was blinded now, but at least they were together.Roland had to get him out somehow, but still hesitated touching Wes, as if he was the one with the deadly virus inside. The urgency of this situation had him overcome this feeling though, so he put his arm under Wes and helped him stand up. He boasted proudly next to his ear: „Your cavalry has arrived“ - „Finally you came. If I stood here any longer, it would have been really stupid.“ Wes made a self-depreciating joke. He couldn’t see it, but Roland smiled."We still need to break out of here. I'll be your eyes, you just need to aim and shoot". As he said this, Roland slipped Wesley's glove off because it was making it harder for him to pull the trigger. His punishing levels were low, so he felt the touch sink straight into his skin. It was a comforting feeling, just like the first time. Registering that he liked this more than he initially thought made Roland laugh at himself. Maybe he was a little closer than necessary. Then he fixed Wesley’s aim, ignoring what just happened.--While helping Wes with his shooting, Roland ended up getting carried away.Four o’clock, eleven o’clock- he took more control of Wesley’s body. He was spinning him round and round like a ragdoll. At this proximity, he could even feel the the thumping of Wesley's heart as if it was his own, warm and alive in that „void“ under his ribs. The human was too exhausted (And blinded) to resist the Ascendant from taking the lead.Like Frankenstein's monster getting zapped back to life, or battle drums echoing inside his chest, it urged Roland forward, throwing him this way and that- like he was dancing. It felt like he was in his perished human body, dusted off and brought back into the light for a fantastic show. They frolicked and danced while the old prison around them crumbled from all the bullet holes. It was also a bit frightening... But squeezing the human to the point of his brittle bones breaking, until he starts pleading "Enough, enough!" made a sly smile stretch over his lips.As silly as it sounded, maybe Wesley was right the first time they met. If no one around is able to tell he's an Ascendant, maybe he's human after all? It made him laugh and say: “Hahaha… wonderful, wonderful! Let’s keep enjoying ourselves, shall we?“ then he continued to dance with an increasing tempo, ignoring Wesley’s pleas for mercy while swaying freely. When all the corrupted were dead, his arms wrapped around him. He held him a bit too long. It was now definitely a hug, but he can't exactly say „I missed you“ to someone he never formally met.With no strength left, and no guts to tell him to stop, Wes let Roland control his weight. They stood still in a „dip“ pose, with Wesley's blood dripping off his hair, and Roland with a smile plastered on his face. When the excitement finally subsided, they headed outside where Roland placed him on a relatively safe spot. This little romp and the increased levels of the punishing virus made Wesley's mind feel a little rattled. But that’s also when Roland happened to notice something- the blindness, it should have worn off by now. "Oho! You're keeping your eyes closed, but you can see, right?“ - "So it was you who threw it"- Wes winced, trying not to sound nervous. Halfway through he already realized it's better he doesn't see anything he shouldn't, so he kept his eyes shut. „Well, looks like you got it. Good boy!“- The Ascendant patted his gritty orange hair without elaborating further.--
Roland realized that he doesn't „have to" return him immediately since Wesley's position in the military was only a minor one. Maybe he joined the dead instead of just burying them? The Ascendant chuckled at this devious idea. Instead of notifying Babylonia to come pick him up, Roland decided to borrow him for a few more days.He kept the ruse of an anonymous stranger, and then pretended to suddenly come up with something: “Mmm… I'm sorry to inform you, but I’m afraid you aren’t high on their priority list. But I just remembered! I have a camp nearby. It’s quite safe and you can wait for your people to come rescue you. I’ll even inform them myself. That’s much better than being left behind, don’t you think?”It's a good thing Wes couldn't see his smile.Two days passed with Roland trying to spur a conversation while promising to be honest. He thought it was hilarious that it was technically Wesley’s job to remove “actors” from the stage once they’ve been worked until death.When it was finally time to return him home, the Ascendant honored his word. He notified Babylonia, drawing attention to this ad-hoc camp in the middle of nowhere. But before he departed, with Wesley's bandages already coming loose, he squished his face and jokingly pasted a kiss into his cheek. It burned a little and he almost saw his face: „Wh-what was that??“- „Ahh you seem surprised! Did you forget how this story goes? (Roland cleared his throat, sounding as sarcastic as possible) The 'hero' gets the kiss for saving the girl. Well, nevermind. You’ll have to do better next time“- He pushed Wes back with a finger on his lips and cheerfully said „Ciao!“. Wesley felt an unfamiliar tingly feeling, and it definitely wasn't the Punishing. It was so strong that he had to force himself to think about something else.The support force arrived quickly. Even as he was leaving, Roland was still there. When Wesley finally looked him in the eye, he slowly opened his mouth to say “See you later”. Wes stayed up all night thinking what he meant while examining the rough red spot on his cheek. Was that the same person he rescued a year before?--A few days later, the Ascendant ruminated while playing the rythm of some Golden Age tune with his fingers.After all this time, he really didn't expect Wesley would still be around. His life became just a -little- more interesting again.Humans are fragile, all it takes is another incident with the Red Tide and their little exchange will end before it even properly started. Following this line of thought, he decided to spend more time with him before something else occured. He wouldn't settle for one-sided interaction anymore. This time he wanted to reveal himself personally, even if Wesley hated him for being an Ascendant. Instead of treating him as something imaginary, Roland decided to make Wesley"real" by finally approaching him face to face.But there was a lot of uncertainty in his heart, and Roland was tempted to borrow courage from „The Jester“. It's a part of himself that he switches to when he is afraid or unsure. A self defense mechanism sprinkled with self-loathing for good measure. When it feels like he's wading into a mistake or like he is about to feel ashamed of himself, he can switch to a version of himself that he can distance from and mock, as if they were not one and the same. But regardless of the risk involved, he began strategizing while making room for companionship in his heart. He was curious about that unknown variable- the 'fake commandant' who sees him more as a human than either an enemy or a tool.He wanted to know what shape will „he“ take in Wesley's eyes as they continue to spend time together. Besides, he could treat the next visit as a bonus. Around this time, the Gray Raven commandant (Philippa) was exchanging information with Luna so it can be like mixing business and leisure. At least now he knows what he'll be doing in his spare time.
--Finally on June 7th, 2123. he and Lamia accompanied Luna on a visit to the Gray Raven. They boarded the interstellar fortress and blended into the crowd, thanks to the efforts of a certain Babylonian faction, and Roland’s amazing costumes. But his confidence was dashed when he saw just how many humans lived up here.It was overwhelming because he hasn't seen so many since the Golden Age, and he lived through several cataclysms in the meantime. Part of him wondered if half of them were fake, it sent a chill down his spine. He even worried briefly that he wouldn’t be able to find what he’s looking for. But that’s when he spotted a familiar redhead standing next to the place where they were supposed to meet their contact. The ginger was just the same as he left him. Pretty, young and knavish. Lips suppressed into a cordial smile and beautiful eyes that try to feign composure. As far as he was concerned, Wesley’s soul was written on his face.Roland's expression flicked back into an impenetrable smile and his confidence returned. After all, an actor like him can't be barred from the stage so easily. After rubbing his eyes, Wes recognized him too, even though Roland changed frames in the meantime. His expression of shock turned into a frown.This was just another case of Philippa getting him in hot water on the account of her unsanctioned adventures. And now because of her, there was another Ascendant in his life.Roland enjoyed every minute of it. Being held in his eyes, scanned from the bottom of his feet to the top of his head, he felt „real“ alright. It was nice to finally meet, friend. He sauntered up to Wesley, swinging his arm in an exaggerated arc and cheering “holaaa” in a musical way. “Do you have any idea why I’m here?” he asked, immediately leaning on the ginger’s shoulder, and then continued- “Nah. Of course you don’t”.Before Wes found any words to say, Philippa already greeted Luna and they started talking about their trip. Wes was actually surprised to see them on such friendly terms, but then again he was mostly out of the loop about the Gray Raven's life over the past year. He had no idea that his friend was communicating with the Ascendant princess in secret or that Luna kept sending her rare minerals and rocks from the Moon (Besides Philippa, there was no other human she'd rather cooperate with). They even successfully linked M.I.N.D’s, even though Luna is an agent.--The two „assistants“ were soon left on their own. Wesley tried to slip away from this awkward situation, but Roland clapped a hand on his shoulder. „Looks like we will have a lot of time together, amigo. You better keep an eye on me.“- he winked playfully. The Gray Raven looked over to their lively interaction and smiled: "Ah so you two have met. Good, that makes things easier". And then, with some relief went back to talking with her special guest. It almost seemed like she was glad they didn’t need her attention.From here, they started hanging out regularly over the next few weeks. Roland came with a signifficant advantage. He knew Wes for well over a year (Although from a distance), knew most of his secrets (Thanks to Ember unknowingly doxxing her former commandant), held knowledge on a construct that is dear to him, and he even spied on Babylonia through his mechanoids. He also enjoyed that Wesley was intimidated by him (He missed that, being the weakest Ascendant after Lamia got her frame).Despite promising to behave, he'd always try to drag Wesley into long discussions or deliberately rile him up. And arguing with Roland was pointless, because even when he knew he was wrong, he'd just keep going to piss him off.At other times Wes would be tasked with simply keeping an eye on him, which the latter took as incentive to disobey as much as humanly possible. He loved watching Wesley’s jaw clench as he stood quiet and tried not to get involved.For a change, he had power over a human instead of it being the other way around. This was a balance of power that suited him marvelously. He almost wanted to gloat, and seeing his beloved friend get angry from first person was quite a treat. Despite Wesley's apprehension, Roland was pleased. This is the way „Jesters“ get treated anyway. He kept laughing all the time, and even the other Ascendants noticed that he was in a remarkably good mood."Wesley! I am at your service today. At. Your. Service-♡♡„He announced each word with such gusto, bowing deeply with his eyes closed. It was like seeing an immortal being deigning to borrow a feeble mortal soul a fraction of their time, expecting an applause. Wesley rolled his eyes. At this point, his resilience to the „Jester“ began to drop and he slowly lost the emotional stamina to withstand everything that Roland kept throwing at him (And he wasn't even used to dealing with people, since he was always surrounded by mechanoids). Soon Wes started enabling the Ascendant's theatrics, letting him twirl around and goof off to his heart's content. And to Roland it seemed, that his “fellow fool” was finally starting to tag along.
Dug Out Heart
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's and the canon characters are OOC!
During the Ascendant's stay in Babylonia, Roland was having the time of his life. Even though keeping his “Punishing” levels low kept making his body feel awful, he’d still manage to feel better by having fun with Wes (or at his expense).Sometimes he’d just stare at him, and then burst into laughter after imagining some funny scene that involves him. Meanwhile Wes just stands there, mildly annoyed while looking at the giddy Ascendant like he lost his mind. He’d ask: “…What the hell are you doing?” and Roland would just wave him off while laughing, saying something like: “Oh, nothing, haha. Just talking to you” - But you didn’t say anything yet!..." (Which left Wes feeling even more confused than before).Or he'd pretend to be mute to the opposite effect. Instead of responding to anything that Wesley says, Roland would keep shrugging like he's unable to speak- „Hmm? (He grins mischievously) Why does this annoy you? Don't you like it when I'm silent?“--Whenever he got bored he'd promise to tell Wes info that he ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT WANT TO HEAR 💢 He had enough trouble and didn't want any piece of whatever trouble Philippa and Luna were stirring up. But whenever he stuffed fingers into his ears, Roland just came much closer and started talking louder, trying to make him hear it anyway (although he wasn't actually telling him any important information, he just enjoyed making him sweat while hovering over him).Sometimes when he got too close, Wesley would get red in his cheeks and his ears. Though, he tried to resist the temptation of initating such reactions too often.At other times, he would weave slight lies into their conversations, especially when telling him things about Earth and The Golden Age. He loved filling Wesley’s memory with nonsensical facts about things that never existed. For example, Wes now believes that there is a crystalline “skull of death” that came into their world from another timeline because it couldn’t have been made by human hands when it was discovered. Since “The Punishing” also came from a different dimension, it only gave more credence to his ridiculous story. Roland also taught him other nonsense that Wes now randomly spouts when surrounded by other squads, which makes them go “Huh?” “What?” and “Looks like you finally lost it, Wes”. These little interactions brought him much joy. He wanted to see him rattled, and confused, he wanted to see an entire rainbow of emotions. While howling from laughter on the side, he'd cover his genuine expression because he didn’t want people to see the expressions that are truly his. After the Mandhasti park incident, the only way something could belong to him was if he kept it hidden.Being unable to sleep also left him with too much time on his hands. There were a few reasons for that: it's when bad things usually happened and because of habits he gained as a child. He'd have 10 espressos just to stay awake, and there was always something that had to be done, even if he couldn't think of it. This just carried over into his life as a construct. He always ended up finishing others' missions or simply stayed awake because being 'on standby' was baked into him. His days always used to be so busy and he wasn't used to feeling this idle.But unlike him, Wes actually had to sleep.Roland had to use this downtime to absorb Babylonia’s nightlife and reflect on everything he’s been through over the past years. He could barely choose which of his stories was worth telling first. He was already skipping through a lot just so he could share as many as he can.Maybe they could play a game of exchanging stories? Who knows.It’s probably a terrible mistake, but it has already taken him hostage, because when he wasn't with Wesley, he was starting to feel bored.--Always early but not too early, Roland could be found waiting in front of Wesley's dorm. He was waiting for the right moment to knock on the door using some long forgotten code (No one does this sort of thing except Echo). When the door finally opened, he clicked his heels and exclaimed playfully: „Com-man-dant-!♡“. Abruptly woken up, Wesley was still squinting his eyes, mumbling: “Nnf... You’re here”. But instead of giving him an actual response the Ascendant just watched him scratch his tummy. His differently colored eyes trailed the motion of Wesley's hand as it vanished beneath his shirt, lifting it just enough to show his hip and belly button. And below it, the loosely hanging waistband revealing Wesley’s lower abdomen.What a nice shirt! What material is that shirt? How do people get this stuff? He cycled through these questions wordlessly while looking at the sleepy human in front of him. He almost asked “…Need help with that?”. But instead he tilted his head and smiled, saying: “Here- I wanted to give you something for all the fun you brought me”. Wes had no idea what the Ascendant wanted to achieve, but sleepily extended his hands at his demand all the same. Then Roland dropped a present into his hands. It was so heavy that it pulled Wes forward. It was a bunch of (seemingly) random items he found while sneaking around Babylonia on his own. There was a fashion magazine, a mascot decoration from a cafe, a colorful tablecloth, a small music box, a book about some man and an island, and a pamphlet from the WGAA. Roland looked at him expecting a „thank-you“. He looked like a naughty child wanting to be praised, with hands behind his back and swaying on his feet at the door.Wes sighed „Thank you. Did you want to do something today?“- Smiling, Roland leaned on his shoulder, pushing a finger into his chest: „Whatever you want, amigo“.They decided to try taking on a few support missions together. This is where Wes got a real taste of how unruly Roland can be (and being unable to form a M.I.N.D connection made it even harder). He pretended not to understand instructions and loved letting Wesley get in trouble just so he could watch him panic. A mission that would take an hour, took three instead. In the end Roland does what he is told, just in a very roundabout way. It was like trying to teach tricks to a cat. People watching them cooperate were like “… What the hell are these two doing?”. When they wrap up and head home, Roland slinks into his dorm by pretending to hold the door, then sprawls out on his bed with the intent of watching him work.Wesley: “You can’t be here” – “I know.” - Wesley sighs.Roland: “What? Can’t I keep an eye on my enemy? (He kicks his feet) How else am I supposed to know what you humans are up to, haha”. Wesley shrugged and placed a box with construct bodyparts on his workbench. While he worked, Roland kept probing him for opinions about death and returning to Earth. Then he wanted to share more stories with him, saying that he was lucky to find him in such a good mood (Even though he was the who initiated it). Unable to concentrate, Wes put down his tools and said: “Ahhhh fine. Screw it, let’s have more stories about Earth then.” – “I knew I had you hooked! (Roland clapped his hands) You won’t be disappointed haha. I promise, when I’m done, you won’t have to talk to me for the rest of the day!”. Wes shook his head and listened. He knew that the catch is Roland would talk until tomorrow.The Ascendant was full of stories. At times, he said so much that Wes heard his voice more than his own thoughts. (It seems there’s other ways to get a M.I.N.D. connection after all?). But he was happy to indulge him all the same. Seeing his excited way of self expression made him think it was really cute.--Roland always believed that he could connect by talking about his experiences. It just happens that many of his experiences were really traumatic. He didn’t want to confess anything, he only wanted someone to hang out with. At the same time, Wesley felt relieved that Roland was someone from the outside. He never had a chance to show his good sides to anyone and Roland's view wasn't polluted by any rumours or fear. He also started to like seeing what Roland does. He wasn’t just letting him do things because he didn’t feel like objecting. He wanted to see more of his expressions too, though he was just starting to notice the small differences in his smiles.Over the next few days, they shared even more stories.Wesley told him about the things he's embarrassed about, like stealing a child's picturebook about birds (Because she drew better than him) which gnaws him to this day. And Roland shared a story about how he laid in front of Alpha's front tire one day because she wouldn't take him somewhere. With fingers crossed, Wes promised to keep his secrets. He was glad that Wesley was more interested in trivia about his life rather than things pertaining to missions or some impossibly large goals. It's been a long time since he talked about himself.He also found out that Wes felt like he was “a joke” version of what he was supposed to be (being a fake commandant and all). It was something Roland could relate to. At times, he also felt like he was “not the right character” for the role he wanted to play.Wesley was saved from the Nighter only because the babylonians thought he was useful, (Just to end up shoveling corpses with a ruined M.I.N.D.) and Roland was due to be a famous actor with a bright future ahead of him only for that future to be revealed as as a lie. For both of them, the world wasn’t all they thought it was. But when they worked together, they were a bit more than what they were on their own. He saw Wesley as "real" and when Wesley interacted with him, he felt real too.
--Then there were times when Roland just wouldn't let him work in peace, even though he could go anywhere else in Babylonia during his breaks. Wes even tried changing his behaviour as to not give Roland any desired reactions, but he quickly learned he is just adjusting to whatever fits Roland in the end. The only way to win is to give in, and the longer you spend time letting him do his thing, the longer he will do it.Now that he was here, Roland didn't want to waste the hours doing anything else. What's more he was Babylonia’s ‘enemy’, shouldn't someone keep him company? While watching Wes fill out his forms, he’d say stuff like “You can just start it in the tomorrow morning.”, “Can’t you make someone else do that? Give it to the Gray Raven, she loves paperwork” or “Want to see a neat trick? Look, I’m making you drop it faster ^^’’ “ while clicking the lights on-and-off as Wes tries to read.When none of that worked, Roland would just sit in his couch and start sighing loudly, trying to look “as bored as possible” in Wesley’s peripheral vision. Eventually he’d succeed in stealing him away from his duties so he could listen to him share “his boring old woes” while treating him to sweets in a coffee shop. Wesley was there for the free food, and the Ascendant didn’t mind bribing him if it meant being able to claim as much of his time as possible.--Wes, however, did manage to find a way to make use of the Ascendant's loafing. If he can afford to watch, then he can help too.Instead of letting Roland get bored and tamper with his tools (Like turning on a saw while it was sitting on a shelf, almost damaging Babylonian property), Wes called him over, promising something fun.He dragged over a black bodybag, unzipping it open to reveal a mess of severed limbs and barely recognizable bodyparts. It looked like something out of a slasher movie. If it was any other construct, they would get shocked or feel nauseous. But since it was Roland, he said; “Oh dear me! What did this bastard ever do to you, Wessie?” – Wesley scoffed: “He didn’t do anything, and it’s “them”. There are two bodies in here, Cynte and Pravi. We need to put them back together. Care to join me for a puzzle?” – Roland bowed: “My dear commandant! I thought you’d never ask! I'll do my best to make them look as good as new”. Like putting together something from a giant box of mixed up LEGOs, they put the two deceased together and then sat in the couch, looking at the pair of corpses proudly. Roland blushed, leaning towards Wes like a bashful girl: „They remind me of us“ – „Don't make me get another bodybag“. Wes responded, pushing the cheeky Ascendant away.--Things went south on their next mission as their lack of coordination resulted in Roland ending up injured (Since they can’t sync their minds like a normal commandant/construct and have to rely on traditional methods of communication).But instead of using the Punishing to fix his body, he decided to wait for Wes. He was mostly fine, he just liked having the latter fuss over him. With his hand covering a nasty gush in his stomach and vital fluid all over, he leaned back and sighed: “Just like the ‘good old days’, eh?”. When Wes finally reached him and got started on his repairs, he started to laugh. It felt ticklish. He almost forgot about the damages on his frame, and had to focus instead on keeping the human’s little fingers from getting where they shouldn't. In contrast, Whenever Wesley stretched, Roland tried tickling his sides while saying it was „a convenient time to attack“ and that he should be more wary of exposing himself to the enemy.Roland also gained a habit hacking into Wesley’s work computer and then leaving him compliments on his attempts to keep him out ("Ah, good one! You almost had me out. Almost-") or leaving notepad files on his desktop with little messages like “Hiiiiiiii ♡” or “Show me how you’ll surprise me today ♡”. Watching Roland goof around while successfully hacking through Babylonia’s firewalls made Wes wonder how scary it would be if he actually gave it his best...--Sometimes when they hung out in Wesley’s dorm, Roland would nudge Wes into choosing which Golden Age character to perform (this was also a subtle way to figure out his favorite characters). Once, Wes even asked if he could pretend to be him while picking up missions from Celica on his behalf. Among other things, Wes noticed that Roland seemed to really like movies. Even though he lived during the Golden Age, he only had enough time to watch them after becoming a construct. But after the apocalypse, it was hard to find stuff that was intact and even when something worked, it was boring to watch them alone. Because of that, Wes gave himself a task to keep finding new books and movies in Babylonia for him to enjoy.While he scouted for new titles to watch, Roland kept taking care of his living space whenever he stayed there. Each time Wes returned home something would be different- his decorations would be in a new place, the furniture would be re-arranged and his plants would be watered. For a few times he left his own dorm scratching his head, because he didn't recognize it. He also found the old terminal they used to exchange messages in prison, cleaned up and neatly placed on his desk.It made him smile.One time while he was wandering through Babylonia at night, Roland spotted a few gambling machines. It reminded him of the time when Wes lamented how much money he lost there.It looked just like something out of the pompous Golden Age. He chuckled. “Humans are such fools. How do I even rate compared to them?” Then he noticed some guy in a tattered suit trying to appear lost and sneak away. But Roland was good with discerning such subtle expressions “Oooh. A lucky winner, perhaps?”. He came down on his whip, and tailed the man until he managed to pickpocket him. Returning to Wesley’s dorm, he whistled when he saw the prize amount. On the next day, he slipped the ticket into Wesley’s coat and later pretended to take it out with surprise: “Woah Wesley! You won, oooh!”. He watched joy spread over his face, and then said: “I hope you don’t forget to buy me dinner. You wouldn’t neglect your special (and only, cough) construct now, would you?” Wes suddenly hugged him. It surprised him a little, but Roland didn't fight back.Instead of withdrawing, he let Wesley cling to him. That little heartbeat that grew so dear to him over the past year was now so close. But since they were in a hug, Roland couldn’t resist playing another ‘joke’. His dear commandant was bringing out his impulsive side and he wondered how far he could push things before really getting in trouble. With his lips curled in a cheeky smile, he said: “They say touch is used to confirm the existence of others… Ahem, in that case, why don’t you try touching me in other ways too?” - “Okay, okay. You’ve had enough”. Wes dryly pushed him away while studying the Ascendant's strange expression.Speaking of, Wes did not forget to treat him. They visited a restaurant in disguise and spent the evening chatting lively. Roland incurred a monstrous bill and kept rubbing his foot against Wesley’s under the table while flirting like there was no tomorrow. At the end of that adventure, he was already thinking up a new scenario. A new short story that will let him drag his fake commandant away without a pardon, where they’ll continue being…(He stops to laugh at himself)... Haha... well, does it need a name?--Ironically, behaving like a "Jester" lead Roland to speaking his mind more often and it soon became a habit of his. He no longer saw it as a mocking term, but as a pledge to his freedom. It is no wonder that he was cynical, considering everything he went through. At the same time, Wes started to remember the things he does. He took note of how Roland loves being asked questions, and keeps nudging him to ask more. How he kicks his feet when he's excited or how he likes keeping him on edge with subtle intimidations. And then there was his cute top and his exposed collarbones… Wesley's mechanoids began to gather dust as they spent time together. This was also very beneficial for his mind. It was good that he talked to others- or in this case, just one person that he was starting to like. Roland had no idea that he was making someone this happy just by being there.--Thanks to Wesley, Roland was starting to indulge in more and more ordinary things. Ironically, he was quite similar to the Gray Raven commandant in the way of not being able to enjoy simple pleasures.But now that he basically squats in Wesley’s dorm, he often helps himself to his things. Sometimes, while interacting with them he experienced snippets of a life he was supposed to have. Roland's imagination was quite good, since he could only entertain himself for a long time.Kindness is something he associates with regrets he buried, which still ooze poison into his soul. With a creak of his artificial joints, he put a hand on his chest where his heart used to be. What would it be like if he was a human? Would things be different for him if he was like them, with red blood and a heart made of meat? Would they come to his rescue, or at least keep him from harm? Probably not. Humans are vindictive, cruel and above all deceitful. They can’t even resist going after each other. He always reminds himself not to underestimate them. After all, it was humans who took his ‘heart’ and even if it was still there, it surely wasn’t beating anymore…However, Roland also saved some humans. They were interesting to watch and full of surprises. Sometimes even kindness- and warmth that was unlike the one emitted by the Punishing virus that simmers under his skin. He still felt that they had some intrinsic quality he couldn’t study. A trick, or a secret that makes them so durable and persistent. It's not like he can hack into them like other constructs or the corrupted, and forcing a mind connection on a human commandant causes them to perish.What was his experience of being a human? Being caffeinated, vomiting and hurting himself. It was a revolting memory that made his punishing levels rise, infecting the ordinary items he held in his hand.
Dug Out Heart
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's and the canon characters are OOC!
Despite being so close to an actual Ascendant, Wesley hasn't felt dizzy or experienced corruption-fueled confusion in a while. His mental health had a clear blue color. Roland's company and his feelings towards him were good enough to outweigh the negatives. Wes couldn't help but smile when coming to work the next day. „Smiling when looking at dead bodies, commandant? And here I thought I had a twisted sense of humor“ – „Pfft. Good morning Roland. Want one of these?“- Wes pushed a biscuit into his mouth and then pulled on his gloves for work. Roland mumbled something while chewing.It was like a scene out of some popular TV crime show. Wesley's mechanoids were there first. They started their programmed scheduele of corpse collection and were gathering their belongings. Until Wes arrived, Roland was just watching them carry out their routine without getting in the way.He seemed to stare at the face of one of the dead constructs. „Do you think they're out there somewhere?“ (He was teasing Wes about his spirituality) – Wes scoffed playfully „Hmm hmm. Zero respect for the dead, I see“. Then he leaned over the body, closing the construct's eyes. „This one died seeing something nice. That is why their expression is so calm. They won't be leaving any ghosts behind“. Then he performed some obscure ritual (A funeral rite he'd come across while studying Kowloong purification rituals) that Roland never saw before. The Ascendant's eyebrows lifted in confusion. Wesley replied with a friendly tone- „Don’t start. This is serious. The way things are it seems I'll have to get a talisman for you as well.“ Wes proceeded to carefully bag the serum his mechanoids gathered.--On their way back, Roland started making comments about human nature. He kept generalising humanity and focused only on their negatives. Wes wouldn't put up with such negativity.He stopped him to say that humans have their own ability to choose, and that the human „trickery“ he keeps mentioning are just patterns he's obsessed with. Yet, Roland's detached smile flipped upside down. He didn't consent to this speech, and he absolutely hated being analyzed.If he wanted to listen to idealist ramblings, he'd go spend his time around the Gray Raven instead.This meritted "punishment". He approached Wes, grabbing him by the wrists and getting into his face until he could feel his breath on his skin. „Ugh, what has gotten into you!?“ – „Do you want me to learn about humans or not?“ – He referred to his construct abilities, and then started scanning Wesley in a way that's way too thorough. He had no intention of falling in line despite Wes's protests. Then he started asking if different things were „real or not“. It was like a polygraph test and Wesley was the subject. There was no point to this other than Roland's amusement.As they struggled, the mysterious smile returned to Roland's face. Wesley's brain activity entered his visual range. He watched the colors of his feelings and anxiety, rippling across his silhouette. He was endeared to this lightshow of chemical symbols. The flickering of his nervous system was like little lights in the dark. As he saved the data, his eyes continued to glide over Wes. How can synapses firing be this cute? Well, you'd have to ask him. The pulse under his thumb was a fine „price“ for this wisp of life acting so boldly in front of him.Was this too much? He asked Wes. „Forget it. Ughh, I'll headbutt you if you try something like this again“. Red in his cheeks and ears, he pushed the Ascendant away. Despite his fun, the look of discomfort on Wesley's face froze him. This game of cat and mouse crossed some lines. This anxiety was new to him. It was the first time that petty revenge made him feel so guilty.--He didn't want it to happen again, and this event showed the need to understand how Wesley thinks. His first idea was to connect their minds. The connection between a construct and a human was a special one and he always wondered what it felt like. He never experienced it before because he was abandoned as a test subject before he even had a chance to try. Wes was so close, but nothing changes the fact that his M.I.N.D beacon has already been irreversibly damaged. He could pick around his thoughts if he wanted to, but that would expose him to the punishing again. Since Wesley’s mind had no guardrails for these connections, it could potentially kill him. And even if his mind wasn’t tainted, it’s a question if he could handle connecting to an Ascendant at all. People like Philippa are very far and few...A part of him also felt self-conscious about what he might hear inside Wesley’s mind-Being unable to see inside someone's head is sometimes a blessing.What if he was only putting up with him out of fear? Even with access to constant surveillance (and knowing him for over a year, albeit one-sided), Roland was still afraid of being "fooled". On the other hand, he was starting to take Wes more seriously, and wanted to keep his trust (If there was any). He wouldn’t go ‘in there’ unless invited. Though occasionally he could hear a stray thought from Wes by accident.--Luckily, he found a way into his thoughts. Roland was relieved when he realized he could just keep records of their conversations and analyze them later.He started keeping gestures, faces, and even the smallest emotions. Once he knows how he reacts to different things, it will be just as easy as reading his mind. Now, whenever Wes thinks or feels something he doesn’t want to share, Roland can use his normal approach. He can apply subtle pressure like maintaining intense eye contact, or just refuse to cooperate until Wesley gives in. "Hey, Roland do you know how to access this control panel?" (Roland crosses his arms behind his head, sitting back with a smile and no interest in helping) "Hmm, hmm. I don't know anything, Wes :)".Roland also found additional uses for keeping records of Wes. He can put them on playback whenever he wants to give Wesley an “I told you so”. He can also prove him wrong, remind him of something… and definitely hear his voice when he is not there. At first, Wesley’s reaction was “that’s so creepy!” but later, he started asking for his help: “Roland, play me the shopping list I said before” - "Roger that, commandant".He also began to tease him in a way where he'd conviniently make him say or do something embarrassing. Then he'd say ''recording mode on'' and continue to stare at him unblinkingly with his heterochromia eyes. Most of it was a joke. But the recording of Wesley's earnest smile, directed only at him, became permanently stored in his M.I.N.D.
--Eventually, even Wes couldn't keep up and got worse at his job. He was dedicating too much of his time to appeasing Roland and keeping him out of trouble. He was a construct with -at least- a decade's worth of missing connections to make up for.But he promised to tone it down.He sat on the couch next to Wes while he was working on hs report, and pretended to fall asleep. He was using this opportunity to relax on his shoulder in complete silence. Instead of saying anything, he listened to Wesley breathe. Constructs don’t really depend on that, so he liked being able to hear it. Since the atmosphere was peaceful, it made Wes finally drop his report.He fell asleep on Roland's head. He sighed and scolded Wes: “Hah. Aren’t you eager to trust?"A jab at Wes that was also a jab at himself.“How am I supposed take you seriously when you’re like that?” Roland made a grimace and gently poked his chest, reprimanding him for lowering his guard when they're still supposed to be enemies. And then he walked his fingers across his upper arm until they reached his hand: “...Are you really that dangerous?” (He was referring to humanity in general). Then Wesley shifted a little, making Roland jump: “Ah, you are snoring of course, Pffft. I knew that.” Then he relaxed again, this time huddling even closer, like he was about to share a terrible secret. “I’m going to tell you another story…. Just a bit more quietly.” Then he started whispering the “Story of his Life”, the one that he despised the most.He told the story of a "little puppet" whose dream never came true. A sudden disaster revealed that nothing the puppet wished for ever existed. Since Wesley was asleep, Roland didn't feel like he needed to shield his expression anymore. Tucked in by his side, Roland resumed to the point where he was surrounded by other dying dolls when vivid memories started to creep into his artificial muscles and skin, making him feel like he was in that damned park again. Because of what he’s been through, he became terrified of falling into a void where no one can catch him. But then he was suddenly hugged by Wes who moved around in his sleep. This reminded him of their first meeting, when he was saved without being asked anything in return."Oh, fine" - He laughed quietly with his face squished awkwardly into Wesley's neck. It seemed so calm inside his dreams. Inside his mind, that he will never be able to visit.By now, his cold hand had absorbed the warmth from his. Even when he let it go, if he put that hand on his cheek the familiarity would still be there. In the morning, he slipped away before Wes could tell that anything happened. Then he spent some time alone gazing at Babylonia's fake sky with much weighing on his mind. When someone speaks with a Jester's privilege, it's impossible to know what is true and what is not. And when something is a secret, the world can’t destroy it. Maybe this companionship too, would be safe if he could keep it hidden.Since then, he liked touching Wes in passing. Just brushing his fingertips against him, or throwing his arm over his shoulder to bring him close and offer a passing thought. When Wesley wore gloves it annoyed him, so he started to hide them.--For some time, Roland has been relaxed and “himself” around Wes. But this moment of peace disturbed him. It felt like an intermission for something ominous.That is when he had a sudden realization. How does one sound when they are honest? How does –he- sound when he is honest? What kinds of words does he use, are they same as when he is ‘acting’? Roland stopped, and his calm feelings slowly turned into a knot in his stomach again. He couldn’t even figure out when he’s pretending, fawning, or just being himself anymore. He would like to be honest with Wesley, he’s started to appreciate him that much.But there was no clear indicator when ‘honesty’ was happening. He can't recognize it himself, and in the end it was just as confusing as when he lies. A writer named Hawthorne once said that no one can wear one face to himself and a myriad to others without finally getting bewildered to which one is true. He slid into a similar feeling of helplessnes and disgust. Even though nothing bad happened yet, he felt the overwhelming dominance of the “Jester”. He called himself Roland the fool again, because he was the one that is always outwitted and laughed at. Always trapped in a passage between light and dark.At this point he switched from doubting himself to doubting Wes. He must have had some way of keeping the truth hidden right under his nose. He was watching him for so long it's no wonder he grew attached. All this time, the kindness he experienced was just a noose slowly tightening around his neck and now he was beginning to realize it. Wesley must have served as a distraction while the Gray Raven commandant did whatever she wanted. Bitterness and disbelief flooded his M.I.N.D. as he imagined a fantastic betrayal. Suddenly, there was a caustic lack of air in his lungs. He wasn’t being ‘real’ he was being mistaken.What if he missed some important clue? Something inside of him just snapped. Everything was falling apart again. Bewildered, he rushed to check if Luna was okay. He ran until his body began to creak in a strange way. The last time she was around humans, she almost lost her life and even ended up on the Moon. But when he finally made it there, all he got was a puzzling look (She was simply playing cards with Lamia, with no hint of danger anywhere). Roland is the type of person who makes a friend in their head- then he makes an entire storyline about how this friend is the best thing in the whole world because he’s not ‘real’ so he can’t betray him, and THEN he imagines this friend betray him in that story too. This constant killing of himself when something new happens has been making him insane.Crouched with his hands over his head to block out the world, he whispered to himself: “God, aren’t you tired from constantly starting over?”--He seemed to constantly ignore the fact that Wes was actually fine with all this. He kept imagining a horrible scenario that hasn’t happened yet, so he’d have a reason to feel bad because being ‘happy’ was just not normal for him. Roland seemed to think that nothing good could happen without a heavy price to pay.In the meantime, Wesley was oblivious to the chaotic maelstorm beneath Roland’s grinning façade. Ever since the Pulia Park incident, he was afraid of being alone. Despite that Roland was an Ascendant, he already found comfort in him. He was a living thing, and to Wesley, he might as well have been the most wonderful thing in the world. But he had no idea that he and Roland were already “gone past the point” of being friends, then lovers- and that they were “currently breaking up”. Wes could just wait for him to return after vanishing without a trace. Around this time, the diplomatic exchange between Luna and the Gray Raven was at its close, and it was time for the Ascendants to head back to Earth.
Dug Out Heart
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's and the canon characters are OOC!
The two of them didn’t communicate at all. Roland didn’t even say goodbye- Wes heard it from Philippa instead. Why didn’t he come? He felt a cold sting in his heart, thinking: “Oh. I guess that’s how much I meant to him…” When going back to his dorm, he was dragging his feet as slowly as possible, in hope that Roland’s face would suddenly appear, cheering "hola amigo!" like usual.But on the last day of Ascendants in Babylonia, he did receive a mini Roland toy in a package. It was soft and it had a mocking expression. When he took it into his hands, he felt as if he was entrusted with something fragile. Roland didn’t want to see him directly, but still wanted to leave Wes with something. A part of him wondered if he would break the doll or throw it away in disappointment. As he went back down with his Ascendant family, Roland’s gaze at Babylonia remained as complicated as on the day when he was coming up here. It was still something out of reach.--Roland felt bad because he knew he’d eventually have to leave.A part of him still feared that Wesley would betray him, and he wondered if they’d meet as enemies the next time they meet. He even panicked and blocked his number, Even though he didn’t expect Wes to call. Despite that he was a construct, Roland felt like acid was flaring up in his stomach again.Wes also tried to go on as if nothing changed, but he couldn't understand why he suddenly felt so bad and melancholic. All the positive progress seemed to be undone. Now that Roland was no longer here, he kept wandering around aimlessly and staring at the artificial sky without saying a word to anyone. This silence was sheer and jarring.Late at night, his thoughts were too alive and he constantly tossed around in bed. He kept thinking about all kinds of mischief that Roland would cause if he was still here. He pressed the toy close to his heart, melting anxious thoughts away. Wesley wanted to shower him with every good thing he knew. He hoped that whatever happened in the future, Roland would be the one to survive. Quietly, he whispered his wish into the toy, like he was casting a spell. This is one thought that he hopes no one "hears".--Whistling a familiar Golden Age tune, Roland arrived home with Lamia and Luna, where they were greeted by Alpha and Ember. It was sobering to be back on familiar ground and everything fell back into being normal.Luna left with her sister to chat privately, and Lamia immediately spread over the couch. She left Roland all alone with the travelling bags.Seeing that it was just the two of them, Ember approached him. She seemed really eager to ask if he’d seen "her commandant", but he just wanted the conversation to be over as quickly as possible so he can go back to unpacking things. He didn’t want to think or talk about Wes -at all-. It left her with the impression that he had a really bad time up there.As he finished unpacking his companions' things, he went over to his suitcase. It was a small thing and he already knew what was in there. Rather than unpack it normally, he turned it upside down and let everything fall out. The contents crashed out with a loud noise, while he stood with his face void of emotion. Ember and Lamia tilted their heads to see what the hell that noise was about. Noticing their curiosity, he told them off: “Eavesdropping is a very bad habit, my ladies. Can’t I have a moment to myself here?”When the two curious heads disappeared from the corner, Roland looked down at his feet.It was just a bunch of ordinary objects. Back then he jokingly took a few things from Wes because he wanted him to freak out when he found out they were missing. There was even one 'foot' from a construct corpse that Wes was working on. He sighed. He picked up Wesley's music box and sat on a stool, blankly staring forward. As if stealing back what you gave could somehow rewind time.When did it happen? When did he catch that disease? The one that takes no prisoners, and makes people stand in front of oncoming trains? Was it when he pretended they were friends? It was just so relaxing to watch Wes run around and sometimes join his busy routine. He liked sneaking him out on a whim or saying „just for today“ a hundred more times and little lies that he could see from a mile away. A trickle of Punishing bloomed in his cheeks as he rifled through his memories.Reaching for different tricks was like throwing a hook. Get him to ask more things so he can gauge his own feelings... How awkward he’d become when “no” was not a response he wanted to get. All the flourish went missing and he’d suddenly sound like someone who doesn’t like talking on the phone trying to order something. Even if they knew each other for a decade, he’d fumble and it would sound like it was the first time they met.Wesley’s expression was always so fun when he seemed surprised. A little smile crept up on his face while he was brushing his chin.He never expected someone would loyally run to his aid, or look forward to spending more time together. To make things worse, he started wondering when he’d see his fellow "actor" again. Roland kept repeatedly knocking on his head. “How troublesome, how troublesome”- he chuckled. This person had somehow become a part of his life now. A little piece of the mosaic that makes up what he is. But Roland was also the fixer, the one who solves problems. He wasn't going to spend his life bitching and running in circles. It was all in there- like a gun, he pointed his metallic finger to the temple of his head.He was about to delete all those recordings of Wes.It's the one benefit of being a construct.He started concentrating on his Punishing to perform a targetted clean, but then he stopped.It takes him a very long time to like somebody, because he has to beat his shadow every time. He’s not going to do that 32549375 times. It has to be worth it. And another reason why it’s such a huge thing to open up is because he truly hated feeling like he was about to walk into an ambush. But these last few weeks (no, more like a year and a half) were something that he actively worked on and showing up was his choice. Instead of deleting his recordings, he laughed about the whole ordeal and rubbed the temples of his head. His face began to beam in a scary way, like a mad gambler loading a dice. This was something that he won. He will reframe it as his ‘prize’.„Pfffft, what a mess this has become“ – Roland shook his head. Now that he has developed feelings for Wes, he'll try to make him carry his share of the burden. It was a „curse“ he was happy to lay on him. At least it could be fun to see how he navigates an Ascendant's affection... Or so he thought.Roland tended to think that his companionship was a curse on its own, so it naturally came as a consequence of spending too much time with him.He put the back of his palm against his head and laughed loudly: "Hahaha! how I pity you poor fool. How will you ever make it up to me?"--Shortly after, the Ascendants gathered around a dinner to celebrate the progress of their plan.They don’t experience feelings of hunger, and this was mainly Lamia’s idea because she wanted to do something nice as a gesture of her reverence for Luna after spending time together in Babylonia. She even made the effort to cook everything herself, though Roland made sure to check the end result. As they gathered around the table, they exchanged their experiences from the sky fortress.After everyone shared what they’ve been through, it was Roland’s turn to say his piece. But since he spent most of his free time around Wes, it would be the only thing he can talk about beside the Ascendants' main mission. At first he was reluctant, because his M.I.N.D. was still packed with emotions he hasn’t fully metabolized. But he pushed through it because he didn’t want to ruin the mood just because he felt bad.At first he shared every embarrassing thing he knew about Wes.Now the other Ascendants knew his every failure.But then he also started talking at length about what he and Wesley saw and what they did together. His knowledge showed that he knew quite a lot about this person, as if they really were ‘construct and commandant’ for that brief period of time. Lamia was impressed, and almost felt bad for not having produced such a detailed analysis for Luna. Then Ember suddenly asked: “Did you remember to mention me even a single time?”Roland tapped his mechanical fingers against the table. He was going to fulfil her request, he just happened to forget while he was there. She continued: “And when will we see him together?”- Alpha snorted and said: “Pfffft. You will never see him”. The situation got a bit quiet as Roland and Ember stared each other down like two cowboys in a duel, but they soon resumed chatting normally.--
In this lively exchange, Luna was able to tell that something was going on with her knight. Roland had new gestures and mannerisms, it was like her knight had a new warmth. Despite everything so far, when she looked at the people seated around her, it seemed like the world didn't end at all. Seeing Lamia's red face when she just couldn't adjust or watching her people bicker like they're children reminded her of times that seemed to disappear when the Punishing occurred. It was almost… okay.This place was starting to look like something familiar and warm.After reuniting with her sister, she wanted to reclaim some of the things she once used to hold dear. She has been buried under the weight of her role (and the dangers that come with it) for so long, that she overlooked the small joys that somehow survived in this harsh world. And ever since she returned from the moon, she was also very different. She was much more calm.For a while now, the Ascendants were not just her servants anymore. After surviving so many ordeals, this rowdy bunch became her new family. She knows they rely on her for leadership, but that didn't matter as much. Since all of them were connected to her by some degree (By the merit of sharing her power), she could literally tell how they felt. She didn't want to just be their leader, she was eager to let them search for their happiness. Perhaps they will bring some of it back „home“.Roland was her knight for a very long time, (Almost since the outbreak began) so she knew him well. She wanted to protect his feelings and didn't want him to become a slave to unrealized needs and desires. If this person could help him find himself, then she would gladly support him. And if he got too cowardly, then she would give him a nudge. The Ascendant princess decided that the next time she works with Philippa (the Gray Raven), she'd try to make sure he has extra time. Sometime later, Alpha told Roland that Wesley was on Earth again. He pretended not to care, though she instantly caught on that he did. As soon as her back was turned, he was going off somewhere ‘to stretch his legs’.Watching this somewhere from the side, Lamia asked her: “Miss Luna… I’d like to have a human too” – The princess responded: “Well, then get one. I said you could have one, not that I’d find them for you… And since you have all this free time, you can finish the rest of your mission, since Roland is too busy to finish it for you. What, did you think I don't know?”Realizing she was busted, Lamia fled to do her job more energized than ever. Luna smirked while watching her dart away in panic. She liked teasing her, and besides she wanted to work harder, right?--Roland reluctantly approached the temporary camp Alpha told him about when he noticed his pace was a bit faster than normal. He usually associated the feeling of 'anticipation' with a disaster about to happen, so he had to focus his thoughts on something else.As he was going towards Wes’s whereabouts, he spotted him heading deeper into the camp. Drops of sweat appeared on his artificial skin and he muttered something to himself before crawling through the vents just to see him. When they met, Wesley had a difficult expression. It’s the one when he doesn’t lie but he also doesn’t feel like telling the whole truth.Roland was also tense and on the verge of breaking into his thoughts just to read them himself.He tried to lighten the mood with a joke: "H-hola! Amigo… we are infiltrating your camp (He smiled awkwardly) You wanna help? If you’re not busy... Haha". Stuck in that vent, he looked like a helpless, stretched out frog above him. Wesley crossed his arms with a deadpan look and said he’d scream for help. Roland coughed: “Ahem... Please don’t. I’m not here on any mission, it was just a joke. It’s really hot here” (He was keeping his Punishing levels low to avoid drawing attention from the guards.... and he was clogging the vents, which made the heat unbearable). Wes helped get him get down.Roland admitted why he was avoiding him and even that he expected Wesley to betray him, just like other humans. Then Wesley suddenly punched him?? He was wearing his exoskeleton, so it hurt quite a bit. Roland’s eyes became wide with surprise- “Good. Now you have a reason to feel sad, because I punched you and –it- hurts. You do know that thinking like that basically means you're calling everyone else who isn't 'you' a liar? It’s not fair. After having so much fun together, you say “none of it matters”, and when you need to remember it, you just don’t. It’s painful to think that only the bad things are the ones people remember about you”.Of all things, Wesley really didn't want to be Roland's 'villain'.
Only now Roland started to see how exhausted and fragile the human in front of him looked like. He paused for a bit when he realized that he never considered how Wesley felt. That hurt more than the punch itself. He was just so used to pushing himself over the breaking point that he often forgot others couldn’t. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard Wes’s voice. “Why are you even here?” he asked, shifting from one foot to another with an anxious look. And then... without any warning, the Ascendant stated plainly: “Because I love you-“Wesley became dumbfounded. His eyebrows sank into a frown and his face hardened. Roland said it so casually and without restraint. He hated how he could say something so important so easily, and he was not in a mood to play guessing games moments after being hurt. His fists clenched, and he decided to use his own ‘jester’s privilege’. If he doesn’t want to be serious, then why don’t we all start talking nonsense? hmm? “I love you too”- Wesley responded with a weary smile and a hint of bitterness.Roland suddenly became more serious and warned him that he should not throw such words around. “Oh? How could you tell?” Wes retained his smile. He tilted his head to the side and put a hand on his hip like he initiated a checkmate. But Roland said nothing. How was he supposed to tell him that he memorized his natural expressions and body language, and what he just said now was a complete truth? He was also quiet because he was shocked.He didn’t know what to choose between making a witty remark or pulling him into an embrace. Maybe he could pretend he shut down at this moment? He also wanted to laugh, he had the biggest urge to laugh, but if that got misinterpreted now then he would have to spend a long time fixing it. Now that he knows how Wesley feels, he’d rather use that time for something else.--“If that’s all…” – “No, wait.” As Wesley turned to leave, Roland quickly shoved a cold, metal box into his hands. He was was only abrupt because he was afraid of letting him leave. He had to finish his intention, quickly, before another meteorite strikes. Wesley recognized it was the music box that he couldn’t find anywhere. When he raised his eyes to Roland, the latter asked him if he kept the doll. Wes crossed his arms and tilted his head at Roland with a curious half-smile: “I’ve been holding onto him while you were gone. Someone had to". Roland said: “Ahem, it was a trade” – “Uh-huh. You know when you trade something without the other person knowing it’s called stealing, right?” he tapped his nose – “So… you don’t want it, then?” – “I’ll be keeping both as your punishment. But thank you for telling me your thoughts for a change. It's not like I can read your mind”. There was a pang of guilt in Wesley's smile.Roland was anxious and didn't want this to be their last meeting, so he quickly came up with a lie: “There is no need for that… Hmm. Actually… My activation date is coming up soon” (he moved closer with a serious tone) “You can thank me then. And by the way, I have three birthdays now. One for when I was born, one for my first frame, and finally, for this one”- he tapped a finger against his bosom. Before leaving, he paused one more time: “I’m curious how you’ll surprise me. My expectations are going to be very high, so don’t disappoint me”. He winked at Wes with a smile and left outside, letting sunshine stream in where he stood.--When he came back to the hideout, he was excited. He totally forgot to tell Ember about her former commandant again (Though he decided he’d just do it next time). When she asked if anything interesting happened, he just said “Nope” with zero hesitation and sprawled out on the couch next to her. Then he casually threw his arm around her, and grabbed a handful of some snacks she was eating, thinking:„What fun, haha ♡ What should I do next time, I wonder?“The dates of Roland’s birthdays were actually random, because he doesn’t really remember them. But he wondered if Wesley would.To his surprise, a birthday present made its way on the first date just as he said. It found its way to him through Alpha and Philippa. It was a modest box of candies, but he savored every one. He even thought about making them permanent somehow.The lies he told became a part of his reality again. Guess he’ll have to remember these so-called ‘birthdays’ now.They kept communicating through baits, trades and challenges. They were both looking forward to them, and each puzzle ended with something like “look forward to the next one!”. They were also leaving subtle hints where the goal was to figure out what the other person meant (Sometimes they would involve pop culture knowledge, like leaving hints with rythms of their favorite show openings). Sometimes they’d communicate through pipes, or locked doors. Sometimes the notes they left were completely ordinary questions like...“Dear Stranger, how is your day?”For a few times, Roland even laid on the battlefield and pretended to be a corpse that Wesley was supposed to collect. He would find him, and then lean over his shovel while putting the blade next to his head, smiling into Roland's face. „Are you comfortable there, dear Roland?“. The Ascendant replied with a smile, laying among the corpses like a snow angel. It definitely wasn't the most conventional way to meet but it suited them perfectly. It was fun completing these 'quests' on the side of their missions. Only they knew what these games meant and Roland loved to play. Even when he sometimes wasn’t sure if Wesley will manage to follow through, he always did.He waited patiently for their next meeting, nurturing that new feeling in his heart. Even when he felt these nice things were ‘wasted on him’, he reminded himself that he already claimed them as his ‘prize’.
Dug Out Heart
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's and the canon characters are OOC!
Roland was now more sure of what he wanted, and one of those things included doing something nice for Wes. Most things he does are ‘nice’, but this time it needed to be something different and special. He would have his chance soon, because it was almost Wesley’s birthday (A date he marked in his M.I.N.D.).Roland was racking his brains trying to come up with ideas. He wasn’t sure if Wes would like a surprise or not. There was already enough risk involved with all of their little interactions, so he wanted his human to feel extra safe. A place with people maybe? Private but safe? That sounded good. But what to do? After some thinking Roland decided not to buy anything. Wesley can get whatever he wants in Babylonia anyway.Making something would be the best, and Roland was excellent with handcrafts. He could make a toy of him. A little Wesley nui with bones inside and its own exoskeleton frame, so he can move it around? He was also thinking of making him an album with all the screenshots he took of areas while roaming all these years. Maybe too depressing but still, some of those pictures turned out really nice. He knows Wes would appreciate seeing different places. He also thought about baking (He was great with desserts). A pie? One of those extremely sweet, candy-on-top sort of pies. Or is that too much? He was known to bring exaggerated gifts.--The greater privacy of conservation areas also helped him reach Wes more easily.He snuck into his tent early at dawn where he found him asleep. If Wesley's reputation wasn't ruined by everything that happened with Ember (and why he's mostly ostracized), Roland wouldn't be able to approach him at all. Unlike Philippa, he wasn’t some “hero” that constantly had stage lights on him, with thousands of eyes peering at his every move. Hassen’s efforts to keep him low-key, as well as Babylonia’s lack of regard for his life made it all easier for the Ascendant. It may sound strange, but it made Roland happy.When he looked at Wes, his shoulders loosened up and he seemed to have a relaxed look on his face. It's the way people look at a pretty landscape when they're alone. His world is where Wesley belonged.He gently moved strands of Wes’s hair so he could better watch him sleep. He wondered what kind of dreams was he having, and if he should even wake him. Instead of teasing him like he initially wanted to, Roland took his face until his moist breath could almost touch his lips. A warm smile like candlelight spread across his face. He whispered him a question: "You can’t be accused of betrayal if you don’t even know what’s happening, right?" - then pressed his lips against Wesley’s in a way that would not make him wake.The redhead winced from a slight tickle of the virus, and Roland bounced back. He cleared his throat with an “Ahem-“ then started speaking normally, like nothing ever happened. “Oh my, commandant! Well aren’t you careless? If you keep relaxing like this, something really dangerous might wake you next time-!“ The first thing Wesley saw was Roland’s grinning face from up close (The usual sight).Wes groaned and threw himself back into bed, and Roland moved to an inch of his face to deliver his gift.“Holaaaa!” – He greeted him cheerfully.It was a beautifully handcrafted flower made out of resin where each petal was different.--These petals represented different places which Roland visited during the time they spent apart. Then he laid comfortably next to him, and started explaining the meaning behind each one. The gift was perfect, it was delicate and full of stories. The morning light almost made it look alive when he traced his fingers across its colourful edges. It actually reminded him of the person nestling in his arms (It made him almost wonder what, or who was the real gift here?). Now these frozen memories were his to watch over. Other than "stories", it seemed Roland just kept finding more things for him to keep safe.They spent the early birthday morning whispering between each other, talking about adventures and new experiences. Roland’s head rested comfortably between Wesley’s chin and collarbone while the latter leaned on him. He was also spreading his arms while weaving his tales, while Wes patted his head with adoration. They were huddled together like two little birds in winter. It turns out the Ascendant really liked to cuddle. “Now who’s too comfortable?” Wesley smirked, looking at his face from above.He couldn’t help but notice that Roland’s expression was different somehow. Wes put his forehead against the Ascendant’s hair. He can’t look into his mind to check, but it doesn’t matter. Then Roland suddenly asked: “Hey why do you stick around with me?” - “You're joking, right?” Wes said without hesitation. “I love being with you, I love it even when we aren’t doing anything special. I wouldn’t trade my time with you for anything in the world.” he poked his nose and procedeed to list everything he liked. He could name at least 20 things before he even reached the part about Roland's looks. Roland was surprised to hear about some traits he never even paid attention to. It made him laugh. God knows how long it has been since he felt this way.“This is too good, too good hahaha! Forget that I even asked, pfffftt”- he covered his face with the back of his palm. Wes wanted to see him, so he gently lowered his hand, revealing Roland’s true expression. The Ascendant’s smile was awkward and sweet. It was a face that he was slowly discovering in fragments during his stay in Babylonia. A face that he already fell in love with. Everyhting else fell into the background.He kissed him, and it burned him a little (Even when low, the punishing still stung). But then Roland kissed him back, and they continued, little by little, one second at a time.
Like fiery butterflies.--Roland never looked more precious, this Wesley was sure of.The privacy of this cozy little room made it feel like this moment would never repeat. Fearing his expression will vanish soon, Wes cupped his face in his hands. Roland blushed, and the surge of his punishing-infested vital fluid started stinging Wesley’s palms. It was like holding a nettle with his bare hands, but he didn’t care at all. That’s when he realized he never engaged Roland from this up close. He wasn’t even sure anymore if the heat welling up within him came from exposure to the virus or his own excitement.He kissed him again. The Ascendant chuckled “Well, that’s not bad as a thank you amigo ;) ” and then kissed Wesley's aching palms. “...Does this hurt?”- he asked, and then took one of his hands and guided it to his chest “Why don’t you rest a little here”. Wes tried to move his hand, but Roland kept it firmly in place. He grinned at him while his face became very, very red. Roland assured him: “Don’t worry, I won’t let anything bad happen to you” and Wesley blurted out laughing: “Pffft... No way you said that with a straight face. Is this some kind of passion-fueled romantic story?”. They laughed immaturely, trying not to be loud.And yet, the anticipation they endured and the anxieties they swallowed down kept bringing them closer and closer. All the words that were yet to be said were boiling inside. The things they were yet to see, and the fights they were yet to have acted like kindling inside their hearts. These little embers of a passionate relationship urged Roland to make a move on his fellow actor. His favorite character, his so-called-commandant. He wanted to engulf him and leave nothing but ashes behind.Moved by these feelings, Roland wanted to say: “Thank you for sticking out with me, I appreciate your companionship”...But instead,He found his hands moving ahead of his words, under Wesley’s clothes and freeing him of his shirt. As he lost more of his clothes, Wes retreated back into his bed, reaching for a serum and jabbing it into his thigh (Roland never saw him stab himself with a serum with such a determination as he did that day). He followed into his bed, embracing him and leaving kiss after kiss upon his bare chest. Each of Roland's kisses left a vague trace of punishing on his skin. It was like leaving a signature, an indellible statement saying “I was here- and here, and here-”. At some point Roland leaned back, observing it like it was a work of art. Every exchange of passion suspended just for a while longer on his partner’s body.He wanted to steal his time, his warmth, and later his thoughts and desires. Until Wes became willing to give all those things away willingly to no one else.Then he grabbed Wes by the thighs, pulling him onto his legs until he was seated comfortably. Wes wouldn’t have to say anything- his corrupted M.I.N.D. beacon was already giving away his consent. Realizing that something 'signifficant' was about to happen, Roland had to check something before this could go anywhere. Something that he didn’t bother with in a long time. He put a finger against Wesley’s mouth, and told him to wait. Then he suddenly got up and scurried off behind a divider. This left him totally confused. He assumed Roland needed to gather his bearings.He wasn’t completely wrong. Now was probably bad timing, but Roland wasn’t sure if he actually “had anything” down there.--His first frame was like the Lucia : Dawn one. There was nothing between his legs but a smooth surface and ball joints for legs. He did have a "frame change" since then, but he never bothered to look if there was any difference. He was never a very sexual person to begin with, it was mostly just him being immature or bad with jokes. And because of the “make” of his body, his drive was almost nonexistent so he still didn’t care much about it. Since Ishmael remade his frame, a part of him was also put off by the idea that someone else decided what his body should look like. But now he really needed whatever was down there to do its job. He didn’t want his moment with Wes to go to waste, so he held his breath and faced it-Roland: “What is this?"With his shirt down to his elbows and perched on top of his bed, Wes asked if everything was okay, to which Roland hastily responded “Pfft, haha it's no problem, no problem at all amigo!” then quietly sneered “Ah, she really did me over…”. Ishmael literally gave him the wrong parts, and she never told him a thing. Then Roland had a brief flashback of their last meeting in his M.I.N.D.Ishmael: “So, tell me Roland. Is there anything specific you’d like your frame to have? It can be anything. It’s your wish now, after all.” (She leaned towards him in a conspiratory way, with a finger over her lips) "Anything at all?" - Roland: “Whatever.” He just stood there with his arms crossed and back turned to her, wanting her help but also to interact with her as little as possible. He may have been a bit rude… Roland: “Yes, yes I hear you. Now, does this ‘free’ frame exist, or do you just really like talking?”. And then he distinctly remembered the pink haired woman's face looking -slightly annoyed- before she committed her powers to his transformation. As he put two and two together, the grim realization came to his M.I.N.D. No wonder it was so easy to perform those acrobatic splits and kicks with no trouble at all.--He appeared from behind the divider looking like a soldier who deserted battle. His face had ‘defeat’ written all over it, and he was thinking how to apologize to Wesley for this ‘terrible letdown’. Wes looked at him and his pants with curiosity. Before he managed to come up with anything, Wes pulled his pants down. When he saw the situation, he burst into laughter. Roland wanted to eat a wall right there and now. Or explode into confetti, like a proper clown.But Wes hugged him, whispering "Don't worry, you're just like me!". Confused, hugged and with his pants down, Roland stopped talking for the first time in his life. He was still processing everything that just happened.Wesley had much more experience with this sort of thing (Actually, he even felt a new kinship with Roland). Seeing his distress, he took his time and helped show him the whys and hows. With some trial and error, they had fun together. Roland was almost depleted after this exercise (Keeping his "punishing levels low" was a boss fight on its own), but still enjoyed holding Wesley’s hand while resting by his side. For him, this was more precious than the act of intimacy itself. Wes joked: “Probably shouldn’t treat life-saving serums like condoms anymore” – “Well, it would be a waste of serum if we didn’t do anything” - "Pffffft. I guess so". They continued to relax for as long as the morning could afford them. He knew that Wes’s interest in him was sincere. He just couldn’t believe it was happening. He rested while the morning light slowly reached their bed.He felt warmth tickling his foot. This was real.
Dug Out Heart
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's and the canon characters are OOC!
The morning was tender and slow. Roland rested on his side while leaning on his hand, and Wesley laid in front of him with his back pressed against his stomach. Warmth settled into the soft covers around them. Roland felt relaxed, a totally foreign but not unwelcome feeling. This time there were no burning coals under his feet. His eyes ran over Wesley's figure with satisfaction, happy that they could both be here. He kissed his hair and lowered his face into his neck to feel his warmth. Curled up around his back, this was a smell he filled his lungs with. For a moment, he wished that the rest of the world could be as warm as this room.It may be his birthday, but work still needs to be done so Roland decided to wake him up. He started to whisper, tickling Wesley's ear with his lips while his hands travelled to his palms until their fingers intertwined: „As you lay still, restless thoughts weigh heavily upon you. What's waiting for me? Who am I going to fight? How am I going to survive? Ahhhh but right now, I'm in a safe place. A warm and soft bed, right next to my... …“ – „Roland, stop pretending you're the voice inside my head“ – „Whoops, haha you wake fast“ – Wesley took him by the jaw, then pulled him closer and kissed him.„You know, if you don’t get up soon, alarms are going to start blaring. And then I’m going to have to kill a lot of people…” He smiled calmly. Wes was brushing his lips with his finger, wiping the sheen that his kiss left behind. „Yeah, yeah I hear that. I’m waking up. I promise“. Then he kissed him again. „Oh, the greed ♪“- Roland shook his head and whispered, letting himself be adored.--There was still something that he owed Wes. The timing wasn't perfect, but he would finally tell him the story about Ember, his role in her ascension, and where she seemed to disappear. He knew too much chaos would upset him so he held back. But now that they were close enough he would tell him the whole truth, even if it warranted a nasty reaction.Wesley interrupted him- „Wait you, y-you... you're being serious about this. And you're here relaxing with me? Oh my god, Roland. Fuck my birthday, we need to go now!“. He almost practically tossed Roland off himself, and started looking for his shoes. He only stopped when he saw a bunch of armed constructs from Babylonia patrolling in front of their tent.Roland approached from the back, poking his cheek with a finger. „Hmm, hmm. You'll lose your head if you keep charging around like this“ – „You have no right to say anything“ – „Maybe“ – Roland replied casually and sat in the chair next to his bed. „You don't want to bring half of Babylonia to our camp, do you?“ completely dejected, Wes slumped beneath the window.„When is your first day off? I can always blow up your tent if you need a sudden accident, haha“ (Wesley gave him a sharp look) „Pffft, what? I'm joking. Probably.“--Roland promised to help him visit. But there was a catch. Location hints are all the“ helping“ he would do. It wasn't like him to serve everything on a silver platter and he wasn't going to let Wes slack off, especially when it's about something as important as this. Wesley would have to create an opportunity to visit the secret Ascendant base, then find a way to sneak inside and return all on his own.When the day finally came, Wesley barely slept. Roland waited for him at an agreed place, wished him good luck and then promptly vanished like a skillful actor exiting the stage.This was all happening at the Rosewater dam, a large concrete monster on the side of a small community which shares the same name. It was located deep in a pine forest where nature still dominated over human presence. Wes somehow managed to grab an assignment all the way out here without sparking any suspicion. He walked over to the dam's stone foundation to get a better view. If the circumstances were less dire, he would have enjoyed this mission as he normally enjoys exploring abandoned places. It was always his habit to shove his nose everywhere like a curious little fox.His point of entry was a massive plug hole that lead to a water reservoir. It was currently dry season, so it stuck out like a weird tower. The way down was segmented with steps (Something about helping the outflow of water whenever the dam became too full). Now he could use them to descend towards his goal. But first, he injected himself with a dose of serum and powered off most of his exosuit's surplus features to lower his chances of detection. As soon as he took off, Roland made a move as well. He never really left, and it was all thanks to his scheming that the other Ascendants had something else to do on this day.He told Lamia that he needed her to gather some info and that she was the only one he could rely on (While knowing full well there was a place nearby where she'll slack off instead). Alpha was busy because she had to clean up a mess that he couldn’t handle and step in for his “lack of strength”. Luna knows that he plans to have „a guest“ around this time, so she just found something else to do as well. The only thing that was left to do was follow Wes around and ensure that everything was safe. He wouldn't put Wesley in the way of a potentially dangerous meeting, he just wanted to see if he was up to the task.--Wesley kept heading further in. Without its usual functions, the suit he loves so much felt more like a heavy burden. Each section of the tunnel he was in was filled in by concrete lines that reached all the way to the ceiling, making him feel like he was walking around in the bowels of some giant beast. 50 meters beneath surface level, the feeling of isolation became really crushing. The effects of the serum were still strong so he tried to focus his thoughts elsewhere only to end up worrying instead.The last thing he remembers about Ember was her virus-eaten frame, and her trying to comfort him by saying that they'll both somehow be fine. He felt guilty. Not just because she almost died due to his incompetence as a commandant, but also because he was swooning over Roland so much that he forgot about this „redemption“. Without closure, he'll just keep walking around in the same maze forever.... But Wesley doesn't want to think that something is not fine. He does not want to think about it no matter how bad it is. When he's working on corpses he's glad he's not them. When he watches soldiers leave, he's glad he's not among them. When he sees their camaradery, he's glad he doesn't have it, because there is nothing he can lose. For him it was like falling asleep at the bottom of the ocean, where he wouldn’t have to worry about anyone or anything. It has been this way ever since his M.I.N.D. beacon became corrupted. What he has is not courage, but complete surrender.This realization has made him grind his teeth. He didn't want to be content with not knowing. He couldn't be a citizen of this permanent dusk.He was also afraid that he might have moved on. Whether or not this choice was taken from him, he just accepted what happened (As always). It invalidated everything he did so far. Like the promises she'd do well in her new team, or that there would always be someone she could rely on. „Ugh, I hate you“ – He spoke to himself, shaking his head. He took another serum out of his jacket and painfully jabbed it into his arm. Some time later, he finally reached the reservoir. A massive, spacious room that spanned at least 20 meters high. It was full of thick columns that spread all the way from one side to another, and the northernmost wall was lit up by an ominous red light.Luckily, this place has been out of service ever since the outbreak began. But rainwater still sometimes leaked in through the other tunnels, covering every part of the room. There was no way to cover his steps anymore and the closer he moved towards the light, the stronger his symptoms became.Then he saw Ember. Ripples spread around him with each step he took in her direction. The source of this light was her core. A battery so steeped in punishing that it barely resembled what it used to be. The same could be said about her. Though still small, she looked more the part of “corrupted” than regular construct. Blood trickled from his nose and a drop fell between his feet. This was without a doubt, the Punishing infection. Ember was crouched down with cable like tendrils searching for something inside a dead corrupted that was slung over her knees. The entire scene was like something out of an eerie liminal photo.Her animal shaped inver-device looked more like a crown of spikes, and the armored parts of her body corroded into something entirely new. They were like black bones dotted with cavities made by flowing water and strange biomechanical growths took place along her arms. She also had a tail that looked like a fish bone. The whites of her eyes became black, and her once-gray irises now glowed crimson (And since her skin turned gray, that change seemed even more drastic). The coating meant to mimic human skin was also gone around her shoulders, betraying her puppet-like joints. Regardless of her fearsome new form, Wes still looked at her without any fear or apprehension. To him it seemed that not much has changed (Though that always seemed to be his problem).Ember didn’t react to his presence because she already knew Wesley was there. Even if she couldn’t feel the ripples on the water or hear him approach, she could always recognize the faint life signature that she once used to keep safe.
--Ember: „You're here“ – „Yep, it's me alright“ – „You didn't know how to come here on your own“ – „Yeah...“ – „It seems like Roland spends lots of time around you, and somehow he doesn't even manage to bring you here safely? That does sound like him though. It takes an especially dense person not to tire of his games“ (Ember wasn't happy or sad. She was just kind of there) – „Hah. Don't expect me to say anything smart, you know I'm never ready or prepared for any mission I'm given... Are you okay?“Ember made a deliberate circle around herself in the water before rising to her feet. It was like she was drawing an invisible barrier with her finger. When she stood up, that finger remained pointed at Wes. „Am I okay? You could just send a message if you were that curious haha. Coming all the way here sounds a bit over the top, no?“ - “I wanted to say I’m sorry for not coming sooner. I always wanted to see you, but I never finish what I start. And even this I can't consider to be my own choice. I'm only here because someone reminded me of it. Otherwise I'd probably never come”. She watched the red streak curve around his lips as he tried to smile sincerely. His apology was as sharp as a sword.“Pfffft… Did you come here to see me, or did you come here to feel like shit“ - „Eeeeh… A bit from column A, a bit from column B“ (Wesley drew lines in the air with his bloody finger) – „Haha, I’m surprised you kept your humor. I’m not surprised it's still as bad as always“(She smirked. That „child“ could always see right through him)Wes was desperate to confirm that everything he did was for something. Now he seemed relieved, even though their reunion was from perfect.Wesley: “Permission to speak?” – “Shoot” – “I always knew it was not your style to just lay down and die” – “ Haha, yeah. It’s good to know you’re still around as well” – “Hey, you know what? It’s been so long, so why don’t we do this again? (He winked) Maybe we should start over with less drama this time (He clears his throat and bows playfully) Hello~”When she heard that, Ember’s eyes lit up with a bit of hope. She quickly stumbled towards him, her ruined legs could only do that much. From this up close, Wes could feel the punishing still coursing through her. She was stronger than Roland by far. He didn't notice it, but it made his hairs stand on end. His body reacted like he was approached by a dangerous predator.Ember made a curtsy. „Pleasure to meet you. Do you still drink tea? Well, I still make tea“ – „I will keep that in mind.“ – „Yeah, you better“. They both laughed, but soon there was an awkward silence between them, even though they were old friends. Time felt like it was suspended. Neither of them really wanted to be there.--With Wes bowed, she could see his scars. She still felt bad about „burning him“, especially since she used to be a support construct devoted to protecting his health. This meant even more to her because she was once an assassin until Kurono decided to let her go.Ever since the events that transpired in the Saint-Laurent nuclear reactor, she has been free from most things, but so was Wesley. She knows that he's traumatized by everything that happened. Babylonia does not accept him either- And she already told him „to do what he wants“. Then why does it feel so bad all of a sudden? Now that he's doing what he wants and now that he came here, she feels lonelier than before. Wes was always one of her closest friends, even if he didn't know it. He looks and sounds just how she remembers. But the person that came here was already „new“.In her absence, it was Roland who came and befriended him. He just happened to tag along while Wes was already changing. Now her old friend became a stranger, and the only part she still recognized in him was the one that could never take things seriously. Ember pretended to look down at her feet while watching his reflection ripple in the reddish water. Her eagerness from before quickly decayed into sadness. It felt like she was a part of a world that no longer existed. Finally seeing him just made her realize more that she said her goodbyes when she gave him a hug and became an Ascendant.To make it worse, it seems that Roland liked this version of Wes, even though (By her judgement) it's the one that's worse than before. He was once so different and special. Now he was just like everyone else. Maybe she didn't know him at all?It's all reversed now. She used to tell Roland about him even though he kept getting annoyed, and now she’s horrified to know that he ended up living all those stories with her commandant instead. All this time, they kept meeting in secret while she kept her distance because she was afraid of what would happen if Wesley was seen with an Ascendant. And in the end, it was Roland who reminded him that she still existed at all.He fulfilled her wish, and now that Wesley was finally here, it felt like a horror story. And how does he plan on Wes becoming “his commandant"? What the hell was that about?. The question gnawed at her. It was much easier to tolerate him until she began to see traces of him in Wesley's voice and actions.--(This wouldn't actually be the last time that Ember and Wesley see each other, but there has definitely been a permanent shift in their dynamics. For an example, Ember will still ask Alpha for special Kowloong tea leaves when she's somewhere they used to sell. And when she treats him and the others to tea, she will never say that his cup contains his favorite infusion, nor that it's more bitter than the rest. This is just her way of expressing her disappointment)
Dug Out Heart
*This is a headcanon story with fan-oc's and the canon characters are OOC!
They won't have to sneak around behind the stage forever. Thanks to Philippa and Luna joining forces (Something about Kurono, a burial at sea and a series of particularly strange decisions from Babylonia causing her to seek refuge with the Ascendant princess) they could meet under the same banner again.They were able to enact the roles of “commandant and construct” just like before. Only Roland didn’t want to borrow Babylonian terms because they left a bad taste in his mouth. Half jokingly, he suggested that they were more like a knight and his squire instead. They can't connect minds, nor do they answer to a Babylonian chief. Wes already got so used to taking care of Roland and dealing with his shenanigans anyway. Sometimes it felt like he knew what he was about to say ("Stop guessing my words! 💢"), just because he rewatched his old tapes god knows how many times. Wes agreed and continued helping his knight in any way he could. He kept Roland’s gear upgraded and in good shape, and he made sure that he never ran out of ammo. If possible, he wanted him to win without sacrificing a single drop of vital fluid.--Eventually, they found their own style of fighting. Resources on Earth were scarce, so they had to make do with anything that was available. It was a mix of wireless radio, coded signals and even whistles (As well as some tricks Wes picked up from the Forsaken in the Pulia Park aftermath). Wes planned well and knew when to get out of the way while Roland was good at performing solo and keeping himself in check without the need of a commandant. And he could react well in most situations without someone telling him to do this or that.Having to do everything "the old way" made them look even more like the roles they were trying to play.Roland also kept his humor. He would still contact Wes even if he didn’t have to, just to tease him. Wesley’s receiver kept beeping with Roland's totally pointless updates. Like notifying him on weather changes which he can see for himself, or ask questions that didn't need answering. He'd say things like „I found a broken door, amigo! :D“ or „Quickly Wes, 3'o clock, there's a cloud in the shape of a cat!“ (It didn't even look like a cat). At other times he would just call him and then start talking in monologues over the microphone or send emojis instead of normal messages, making Wes decipher them. He was basically sending him encrypted diary entries. Wesley’s patience would be wasted on anyone else.He would also tease Wesley when he’s giving out orders. Whenever he got too much into it and started throwing around dramatic lines like “Show off” or “Teach them how to dance!”, Roland would half-jokingly point out that he’s stealing quotes from a show. Then Wes would get embarrassed, fumble a bit and correct himself by saying something more normal like: “…Ahem… Okay, just get it done” – to which Roland responded: “That is also from somewhe-“ Wes: “EVERYTHING IS FROM SOMEWHERE!”Having gotten his favourite reaction, Roland would swing into the fray, laying waste to their enemies.And since they were on Earth, it meant Roland could ‘steal him’ more often to go on a few-day long dates without anyone asking too many questions. He easily came up with a whole bunch of stories to cover up for his disappearance. One time they visited an old crumbling cinema to watch a movie. Roland was smacking a projector to make it work, while Wes picked some nice seats like they were about to see a premiere during the Golden age. Then they hung out and watched some old films Wes took from a Babylonia video rental, pretending it was the real thing.--Working on Earth together also meant more chances to get “close” (If you know). Roland didn’t really need that kind of intimacy. He had an inherent lack of drive because of the nature of his body as a construct, but he liked seeing Wes happy. The act itself was just something he enjoyed on the way. Another way of providing comfort was sneaking under his sheets to spend time by his side without disturbing him. Wesley would wake up with little red spots on his skin, just like the ones when the Ascendant first kissed him. Sometimes they would both pretend not to know the other is awake, just so they can cuddle quietly. He loved the feeling of Wesley's warm feet pushed up against his own, especially when he wore socks.Roland also liked climbing into his bed, saying that he’s “a snake that needs to curl up to something warm” and that he (Wes) needs to stay still unless he wants to get bitten. Then he decided to get him some new pajamas. Wes acknowledged they were pretty warm but then realized they were even softer on the outside (So obvious). He looked at Roland who started whistling and looking around like it was none of his business. This gift was as much for him as it was for Wesley. Now when Wes wants to leave the bed, Roland tells him that “he has to prove his resolve” and clings to him like a python until Wesley finally manages to writhe out of his arms. He was selfish, but knew how to make him feel good. He releases him on his own once he’s had his fill. But also because he knows Wes will make him a coffee.And sometimes Roland would be less subtle. He would sneak up on Wes and put his cold hands under his shirt, promising that they will warm up if he lets him stay there. Or he’d find Wesley asleep and then lay on top of him, squashing him with his mechanical body and saying: “Hmm, hmm ♪ why-oh-why is my bed moving so much?” with a grin while Wes tries to wriggle out from under him.He would also tease him by approaching from the back and wrapping his arms around him. His hands would slide under Wesley’s shirt, pretending to pat his abdomen while Wes is focused on reading some report. Then, when Wes is sufficiently distracted, his hand would wander off into his pants, and then even further down- which is when Roland fakes a surprise and says “Ooh... and what’s here?” and then tightens his arms when Wes almost pounces to the ceiling.Or, when he’d drop by Wes’s room at night after a mission. He just wants to watch him sleep, but if he sees the bed is empty, he will crawl in and enjoy the warmth, touching the outline where Wesley’s body lay. And when Wes comes back (After going out to pee or something), Roland teases him by saying he will have to stand in the cold and that he “lost the spot”.Roland was absurd, funny and free no matter what anyone says.He always did what he wanted and Wes loved this quality of his the most. Always being able to make your own path takes a certain amount of courage he just didn't have... yet. After all, that was something he was learning from Roland too. Plus, he loved playing along in his games, making him feel special and needed. He loved his rambles and his stupid jokes too. Roland brought so much laughter and joy to Wes that the latter decided to live more sincerely. As terrifying as it was, he had to let the gears of time continue moving after an indefinite pause.--Eventually, Roland wanted to uplift his status to that of an ‘Ascendant’, but Wesley was limited by his humanity. He wanted him to become stronger (Better capable of protecting himself) and more independent, so he could rely on him more. At this point, the battles they could take were still very limited.Roland also wanted to know what kinds of choices would Wes make with his new freedom. Even before all this, he liked giving options to others and seeing what they do with them. A part of him was also curious what he’d look like. Roland always thought that the Ascendant’s appearance was superior to any manmade design. He recalled a time when he modified Tifa. If it came from "his gift”, he was sure that Wesley’s frame would look beautiful. After all, he was proud of what Ember came to be (It would also be kind of funny if both commandant and former construct were ‘turned’ by the same Ascendant).But without putting him in harm's way, Wesley’s consciousness could not be separated from his mortal body.
--They also liked “performing” (Something that Wes originally came up with while running around with his corpse-gathering mechanoids). Sometimes they would swap roles for fun, just to mess with their enemies or so that one of them could handle the boring parts of a mission while the other could have fun. When they were together they could balance the load of being a clown. Wes was one of the people who became themselves when they ‘put the mask on’, while Roland was the opposite ,fearing he’d lose himself in it. It became easier for him to tolerate those traits in himself after first liking them in someone else. Whenever he went too deep, Wesley was waiting at the shore with an outstretched hand, even without a M.I.N.D. beacon to light his way.Sometimes when they rested, Roland asked him if he could be fooled into thinking that he was “a good construct”. Wesley would look at him and say that he only ever knew the “Roland” he showed him, and that one was good to him. Even though Roland hasn’t explicitly told him about what happened in the Mandhasti park yet, Wes knew it was something that still made him feel miserable. This is why he tried not to take missions that reinforced Roland’s negative self-image.Roland always had a hard time expressing and identifying his own true feelings. Before reaching the surface, they had to go through an entire internal process. That already made it difficult for the person who loves him to see if their love was doing anything. But Wes didn't rush him. He truly believed that he should love himself more, and he wanted to see him grow. And he wasn’t delaying his gratification either, he was simply happy where he was while staying true to himself.He already felt glad that Roland was willing to express his vulnerability to begin with. He was also starting to define himself more and it made Wesley very proud. Is this how real constructs and commandants feel about each other?Showing him “what he sees” was the least he could do, and it’s what he’ll keep trying to accomplish as long as they are together.Roland wanted to step into Wesley’s shoes and understand what he keeps seeing that makes him believe in him with such confidence. It was the shape that “he” took in Wesley’s eyes. He knew him well enough that he trusted he wouldn’t choose to abandon him. Things were already much different from the past. This time, Roland was already surrounded by a lot more people that love him.These little ‘dolls’ will have a different story..."Once upon a time, in a kingdom far away, the story began with a knight and his squire,
with an important task to make the princess’s wish come true…"︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶
Notes:
- The Gray Raven commandant's name is Philippa Anheier. She was also brought into the taskforce by Hassen. But unlike Wesley (who was taken in as a child), Philippa was acquired from a prison, to which she owes her ruthless and daring personality. She is 183 cm tall and wears high heels and a military uniform for most of the time.
- She frequently tests how much she can push Roland around through Wes.
- There is more room for angst and character development, but this story was always supposed to be short.
- Their story will likely resume when he gets a new frame!
- This is mostly a fluff/comfort story because I love this character
- Thanks for reading!
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